Hello Beautiful!

It looks like you're new to The Community. If you'd like to get involved, click one of these buttons!

In this Discussion

help! no support at home

Hello. I have been trying to go raw for about a month now. I was mainly vegetarian for a few years, but I still ate fish yogurt and eggs.

With out giving you my sob story life, I have many health issues, the biggest being I am diabetic and overweight.

For years now I have been trying to lose weight. The doctors say, lose weight and your health issues will be over or controllable. I have tried everything out there to lose weight. Becoming Mostly vegetarian was the only thing that worked a little.

AFter reading everything I could find, I made the decision to become raw. I have given up yogurt and fish and I totally gave up bread (another weakness of mine). The eggs seem to be a little harder for me. I love breakfast. ;-)

Unfortunately, I have no support at home. my spouse went to the store today and brought home all the foods i loved and knows that I gave them up. He doesnt even like some of the things he brought home, but handed me a can of biscuits and then said Oh your not eating that any more. He will never give up the SAD diet. Which is his choice, I dont force the raw foods on him.

Has anyone else going thru the same thing and do you have any ideas to help me get thru this transitional phase so I can be 100% strong in being raw. I have felt 10 times better when i have followed the raw diet. On the few days that I reverted back I really felt like crap. So I know I have made the right choice for me.

any feed back would be appreciative. sorry If I got to sappy.

Katt

Comments

  • Katt, you should be so proud of yourself. It’s a challange to take on dramatic lifestyle changes and you’ve decided to do it, bravo! If your husband brings food home from the store that you are trying to avoid and he will not eat, grab the receipt and return the food. Or donate it to the food bank. Maybe he thinks that you’re not serious about a diet change or he’s just not used to the idea yet. If he sees you really reject old habits and embrace new ones, perhaps it will show him how important this is to you and help him learn to be supportive. Good luck!! Just remember that no effort is wasted and you CAN do this!

  • Thanks Elizabeth. I should have thought of returning it or donating the food. I guess I was just too mad ;-) Great Idea. Thanks

  • katt,

    I don’t have any support at home either, so I know where you are coming from. I have joined a local raw group for support. We don’t meet as often as I would like, but it feels good to have people out there who think like I think when it comes to raw. I read on a blog too that trying a new recipe weekly helps with the momentum of going raw. Like elizabeth said, it is a challenge and once your spouse sees that you are serious he will support you more. I know you can do it and don’t give up. If you fall get back up and try again. We will prevail!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • MOTHMOTH Raw Newbie

    Sounds like you’ll have to be tough! You can do it, girl. I’m proud of you! Just stick to your guns and all will be well. ::::heart::::

  • Thanks all for your comments. I am determined to do this.
    JEMS great idea. I will see if there is a local support group here. There should be. The people here are pretty diverse.

  • I don’t have a support group here in rural Wyoming but I have decided to stick to my raw diet even though my husband is not that interested. One thing I have tried to do is to continue to make all of his favorite foods and I never push my food on him. I do ask if he would like to try things I make and he has even requested one of the recipes on this site – tuna sandwiches. I have made raw lasagna and he ate a couple of helpings. I think that once your husband starts seeing changes in your health and weight he will see the importance of the raw diet. Also, this site is awesome for getting support. I usually do not do chat rooms but I enjoy seeing what people are talking about here on this site. Keep up the good work – it will be worth it in the long run.

  • katt,

    found my group at meetup.com

  • SamiliciousSamilicious Raw Newbie

    Hi kattbuddah,
    I too know where you’re coming from and what I did to overcome my situation is to do the grocery shopping myself! Or, if that is not convenient for you, maybe you can make a grocery list and give it to your spouse the next time he goes shopping so that he will know what you want. From experience with my dad, sometimes you might want to be specific like the quantity, organic or nonorganic, etc. But hopefully you will come up with a system that will work in your situation. Best of Luck!!! And remember to be patient with your body and remind your spouse to be patient with you as well.
    To the best of health and life,
    Samira

  • Jems4 your my new best friend. LOL I went to meetup.com there is a support group here and they are meeting in a few weeks for a movie night. WONDERFUL

    and thanks all. I have tons of support and didnt even realize it. I love this site. hugs

    Katt

  • I feel you kattbuddah. I am the only raw person in my house and have been the only vegetarian in my family for the last 7 years. I asked my hubby of 15 years to eat raw for one day and we had the biggest argument of our lives (he later brought me flowers – but still refused to eat raw).

    What I have decided to do (I do all the meal planning and grocery shopping) is that I make a meat, but the side dish will ALWAYS be a raw or vegan dishes. This has worked out great for my family. Most of the time they like the dish. Like tonight – I’m making rosemary and garlic pork chops and one of broccoli dishes I got from this website.

    W/O getting graphic – once your partner sees the benefit of you going raw (increase in libido :) and loosing weight, more energy etc. He will be more supportive of you and may slowly join you.

    Hang in there

  • TomsMomTomsMom Raw Newbie

    I’m very impressed and proud of you, sweetie. I would just have the hubbie run the food back to the store and get something else(or do it youself and get some good chow!). He’ll get used to you being on raw, so don’t fret. OOXX

  • That is great katt !! let me know how it goes!!

  • Thanks Alix and Enjoyraw. I hope he will get use to it. Im not so sure tho LOL. I usually do my own shopping, it was a shock that he called from the grocery store today. But next time I will make him take it back Or I will.

    Jems I will keep you posted. Thanks again.

  • capcommander – Where in rural Wyoming do you live? I live in Kimball, Nebraska, just 15 miles across the eastern Wyoming border on I-80. I’m the only person I know who is raw and I’m always on the lookout for someone close who is raw too! Hopefully you don’t live too far away. Let me know.

  • Aleta – I am in a small town 40 miles east of Cody called Burlington. Unfortunately that is all the way across the state – what a bummer. I make it down to Cheyenne every once in a while to do business for Civil Air Patrol but otherwise I usually end up staying in my NW corner. check out our website: http://www.tctwest.net/wtr (you will need to insert that tilda mark that looks like a squiggle mark before the wtr. for some reason this site will not put it in there)

  • susannabellajanesusannabellajane Raw Newbie

    Hey Katt, it is hard to transition. I was once 300 pounds, diabetic, high blood pressure, a smoker, the works, until I took the baby steps to eliminate the bad, bit by bit, and I am now NOT diabetic, 75 pounds lighter, not smoking anymore and looking and feeling so much better.

    First I gave up wheat (when I found out I was gluten intolerant). Wheat was the hardest for me, since so many things I truly loved were wheat based, like pasta, breads, cookies. I was lucky to start with one of the major compromises in diet as nothing since then has seemed so extreme.

    Then dairy went out the door and soy milks and tofu right after, then anything pre-sweetened (like iced Chai from Starbucks), then no more dairy or soy based cheese, nothing processed by anyone but me (nothing in cans or bottles, boxes) no flesh except the occasional fish in the evening. At the same time I was agressively adding vegan or vegetarian recipes into our evening meal, and now more and more all the dishes at breakfast and lunch are raw, and all side dishes with dinner are raw except the fish or occasional peice of meat my husband loves for dinner.

    My husband was NOT supportive at first, felt very threatened, very controlling, but I’ve worn him down one tasty dish after the other and his old-school Russian friends are even sprouting, so he feels proud to be the leader of the pack (visa via me). It just takes time, patience, but the results will speak to your husband’s heart and he’ll get onboard when he sees how vibrant you become (as long as he isn’t worried you’ll run directly out the door and away from him if you get to be a sexy mama). Be patient and kind with him, but keep doing your thing, one day at a time, and it will work out.

  • Katt, you are doing well to change your lifestyle in order to make yourself healthier! Last January I was about 17 stone which is around 238lbs, since then I have gone down to 169.6lbs. I decided to lose weight both for looking and feeling better – my mother and grandfather were diagnosed with diabetes type 2 and I don’t want to end up developing it also.

    I turned vegetarian about 3 years ago and I was one of those ‘bad’ veggies who turned to carbs, I ate loads of pasta etc and hardly any vegetables or fruit. I changed this last January and am reaping the benefits now! Losing weight is possible!

    I was lucky that at the same time I was working on my weight my mother had lost 3 stone (42lbs) and we were able to work together, my best friend who I lived with also was losing weight and we supported each other. However, now I live at home once again and my parents do not understand Raw, my sister laughs about it! My fiance thinks I am nuts. It is not easy to change without much support, but you have to remember that you are not alone! We are all here to talk to and to offer advice and our own stories.

    Did you know that stressing about weight loss is counter-productive? Stress causes the pituitary gland to release a hormone which means stored sugar is broken down in order to facilitate the ‘flight or fight’ mechanism. If this released sugar is not used in a fight or flight action then it is stored as fat.

    I recommend making sure you have some relaxing time to yourself; read a book, try yoga or meditation. Positive thinking is actually being explored scientifically and so far it has resulted in showing that positive thinking actually helps weight loss!

    Anyway, I seem to have rambled on for a while! Really what I want to say is you can do it! Don’t give in because someone brings a chocolate bar near you – stay strong, and remember this forum is full of people willing to support you! Good luck!

  • Be proud of yourself, he is only doing it because is scared you are going to look and feel great and leave him behind, and it is making him feel guilty eating them by himself, it is only to make him feel better that he is doing it….don’t take the bait! Show him that you are not interested in those foods anymore and most of all you said it yourself.. you feel great eating this way, don’t deprive yourself of feeling great, you deserve it. It’s not very nice when someone tries to take that away from you.
    Have faith in yourself, because I have faith in you, the best is yet to come. You watch in time he will want to join you, just let it be his decision. He is scared of change.

    All the best to you, you deserve it!

  • sweetpeasweetpea Raw Newbie

    My advice would be to take your time, there’s no rush. Just add in more and more healthy food choices and keep in contact with the raw forums for support.

  • ‘Most people work hard and spend their health trying to achieve wealth. Then they retire and spend their wealth trying to get back their health.’
    Just stay on the positive track Never give up, and you won’t regret it.It’s worth every bit of effort.

  • WOW! I havent been on here for a while and I am amazed at all the responce and support!!!!!! ;-)

    Thanks to everyone. I have taken your advise to heart and am getting stonger in my desire to stay raw.

    I appreciate all the support. I hope I can help someone else from my learning experience.

    Katt

  • LucyLucy Raw Newbie

    It is very difficult to cope with people that don’t agree with this lifestyle.Sometimes we have to go on and do what’s right for us.
    My husband doesn’t eat raw and that’s ok.He supports me a lot though on my raw/living foods lifestyle.I do the food shopping at home and sometimes I buy all the things that he wants to eat and that’s fine for me too.I’ve learned to stay on my lifestyle,it wasn’t easy but with time I feel very happy.

  • alpdesignsalpdesigns Raw Newbie

    Maybe your husband doesn’t know how to shop! At least he’s making an effort to do some household jobs. Next time, give him a list of healthier foods.

  • Katt I also understand what you are going through! My husband is also a meat eater and although he’s very supportative of my choices and lifestyle, he wont stop eating his meat and all the bad stuff. And ive been a vegan going on 2 years now, he’ll eat things that i make but he just says he will never stop eating meat. And also about the weight issue. Try to keep your focus on your body and health and make smart choices and soon you will see the weight come off. Ive been eating as raw as i can just this month and i’ve lost 4lbs already. I’ve stuck to salads and smoothies and water and its been good so far so if I can do it so can you!! keep up the good work and post your progress!

  • On a slightly different note, my husband also follows the raw lifestyle, as much as possible, but we find that our bodies need different things, so we don’t eat the same things at a meal either. I just wanted to throw that out because even with raw partners, eating the same foods is not always possible. Ideologically it is better, but sometimes he’ll say yuch to stuff that sounds great to me and vise versa.

    I give the people a lot of credit for preparing meals for their family that don’t coincide with the way they want to live. I could not do it. In the end I think it is all about compromise and patients.

  • I agree with KarenK. Sometimes if you are the one that prepares the food for our household, you will receive resistance, because the other person is afraid they will have to change too. I am the only one in my house that is raw. I just said that I would not be buying or preparing any meat, so if they still wanted to eat it, they had to purchase and prepare it. I am not shoving my raw delights on them. I ask them to taste it, so they can see how good it is, but I am doing this for me. So far it has been fine. I think when you are assertive and stick to your guns your family will step up to the plate to support you. I think a lot of times as women, we are so busy trying to make others happy that we forget about what we need. Do this for yourself and the support will come..

  • greeniegreenie Raw Newbie

    Katt,

    Good for you deciding to be raw.

    I have two friends who recently went raw, both are diabetic and their blood sugar went to normal within a day or two of the raw diet. One of them has had diabetes for over 7 years, and even on meds had blood sugar in the 150-250 range. Their doctors are very impressed and very supportive. They both feel terrific.

    The way they do it is to totally get into it and prepare prepare prepare. They have crackers, pates, nuts, veggies, everything they need at hand for when they get hungry. THey plan their meals and experiment with recipes (mostly from Matt Amsden’s book, Rawvolution). Before going raw, they studied recipes, bought the supplies they’d need, and made a bunch of crackers and other foods. They created a meal plan and schedule for preparing the foods for each meal.

    The raw diet is difficult, IMHO. It’s a lifestyle not just a diet, it requires so much planning. Unless you want just a bare salad, you cannot eat raw in most restaurants. You must plan and prepare before most social occasions, before outings, you must plan meals and take food with you most days. Unless and until you are content with fruit and plain veggies. That day will come, too. But until then, it’s hard work.

    I’m not saying this as discouragement, but as a reality check. You know hubby is going to bring those biscuits home, you better have a strategy all worked out and set up before the DH pulls that stunt again. Because you’re not likely to change him. It would be nice if he were supportive, or raw with you, but he isn’t. You can’t make your success dependent on him or anyone else.

    FYI, I’ve read that many people get similar results with diabetes, high cholesterol and obesity by following Dr. Fuhrman’s plan outlined in Eat to Live. (http://www.drfuhrman.com). It’s an easier program, mostly raw, but allows cooked beans, small amounts of cooked grains, and some steamed veggies. I believe in doing what works; that might work better for you. It’s easier to implement when you have to live in this world and can’t spend a lot of prep time in the kitchen.

  • I DONT HAVE SUPPORT AT HOME EITHER BUT YOU HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE AND HERE YOU WILL GET ALL SUPPORT YOU NEED, I HAVE GONE THRU THE SAME THING YOU HAVE , IF U SREW START OVER ITS NEVER TOO LATE ,MY HUBBY DOESNT EVEN LIKE SALAD , I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND THAT IF I DO IT AND HE SEEs THE CHANGES IE LOOSING WEIGHT ,JOY AND UNSICKNESS ETC I HOPE HE MIGHT CONSIDER CHANGING HIS,IN THE MEANTIME I WILL CONTINUE TO LOVE HIM,I AM ON MY 3RD DAY 100%RAW ,DOING GREEN SMOOTHIE FEAST AND I AM ALREADY LOOSING WEIGHT , MAYBE IF YOU DO THAT IT MIGHT HELP, BUT EITHER WAY WHEN YOU STUMBLE AND FALL DONT STAY ON THE GROUND GET UP AND TRY AGAIN , SOME DAY YOU WILL RAN A RACE , SORRY GUYS IT WAS ON CAPS

  • Redhouse, Kiwi,Greenie, and Meths, I totally agree with everything you have said, and thats what i am doing. Its getting easier everyday.

    I am so excited to hear about your friends Greenie. I have seen a dramatic change in my BS levels. I can’t wait until my next DR appt. to see my blood work results.

    Its lots of work for sure, but I am starting to get the hang of being raw and looking forward to it being second nature for me.

    katt

  • My partner means to be supportive, but as a typical flaky artist, he just doesn’t think (“what do you mean you can’t eat my caramel french toast?!?”). Thankfully (I guess), having an illness that actually causes pain when I go off it is pretty good incentive. The weight loss is a wonderful side effect that men can’t help but notice and appreciate.

    But, one thing at a time is best for calcitrant men, IMHO. He still hides bags of skittles (with just the yellow ones he doesn’t like) around the house, but I recently got him totally hooked on low-temp dried apricots and the Skittles consumption went down by at least half.

    Also, I know for a fact that he has been in the habit of buying me “treats” when he feels guilty for other inadequecies in our relationship. To loose that outlet left him sort of helpless for a few months, but now he just tells me how great I look, and we’re both happy.

Sign In or Register to comment.