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Depression

Slosh-uhSlosh-uh Raw Newbie

I feel really uncomfortable talking about this, but here it goes anyways.

I’m off. Like, in my head. I have all these weird mental issues. Sometimes I feel really happy for a few days, like, ecstatic and enthusiastic about everything. During those times I love myself and I love my life, and I feel great. When I feel like that its hard to even remember that I sometimes feel depressed.

Then I’ll go through a downer phase for a while. Really down. I feel despondent about my future and about myself. I feel so much self-loathing that its hard to function around other people, even just walking down the street is hard. I think about dying sometimes, and I just wonder when its going to happen and almost look forward to it. I can’t help but think negative things about myself and tell myself all the things that are wrong with me. I’m never good enough.

Can anybody give me any suggestions? Anything really. I just don’t know what to do to stop these ups and downs all the time. I want to have a stable mind. And its frustrating because I used to not be like this. Sometimes I’ll go through multiple ups and downs just in the course of a day.

I wonder if this is some sort of emotional detox? I’ve just switched back to a mainly raw diet. Any suggestions?

Comments

  • Slosh-uh, first of all, I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but am happy you reached out for help. I may get sh-t for saying this, but forget detox. I would never offer an opinion or “diagnosis”, but really recommend that you find a good therapist ASAP. You need to find out what’s going on-both emotionally and biochemically. Yes, I love raw as much as anyone, but this is not a “raw” issue. If you don’t have the funds, find out where there are treatment centers in your area that may offer lower rates for those who don’t have the $$. AND if you are considering suicide, you MUST get to someone who will help—parents, friends, doctor, or even a hotline. Please get help and keep posting so we know you’re all right.

  • greenghostgreenghost Raw Newbie

    Slosh-uh... I’m sorry that I don’t have any words of wisdom at this time, but I wanted to let you know that I empathize and I hope that you are able to sort through it all and be happy.
    Peace & Best wishes

  • hey slosh

    i love your posts and your humor on this site. not that this is a humorous post. it is clearly not.

    what you are describing sounds like manic depression or bipolar disorder. i’m not a doctor, so i can’t diagnose you. i agree with mon46 that you should see a doctor, but i can recommend a few basic things:

    1) cut back, or eliminate, drugs and alchohol. these will affect your seratonin levels and absolutely do affect your moods.

    2) cut back on sugar. i know when i eat too much sugar my mood is all over the place. i know some people on this site will disagree with me on this, but i would try to eat mostly nuts and greens, some fruit, and even some cooked grains, if you want.

    3) do what you can to control your mind. i also feel depressed sometimes, but if i can get myself to laugh, or get some sunshine (not like we have alot here in SF), exercise, or just get myself to think positively, i can usually snap myself out of it. believe you are a strong, powerful, beautiful woman. i’ve never tried it, but i know some people have great success with hypnosis tapes in this area.

    finally, cut yourself some slack. if you’re having a sad day, so what? do whatever you need to do to feel better, and move on as quickly as you can, but don’t force yourself into a destructive blame cycle.

    ok, i hope this isn’t too pedantic. you don’t seem suicidal to me, so i am going to believe you are not. i wish i could be more helpful.

    stay well,

    mandy

  • Slosh-uh First of all HUG! I agree with Mon46 certain things need to be dealt with as their own issue. I deeply empathize. I too have fought and fight mood swings and used to have pretty severe depression. There is no shame in getting help :) There are ways that work to help you gain control so that you don’t feel so chaotic. I don’t know what will work for you but you will when you find them. Please reach out as Mon46 suggested and just have faith that you can find your health. HUG

    Blessings :)

  • I agree with everybody else (I suffer from cronic depression)please get some help. You don’t have to just grin and bare it. -emmie

  • Please get help. There should be a local outreach center, community center, or resource center in your town or surrounding town – check out the chamber of commerce of your city, the local listings for churches (I’m not trying to be religious, I just know that some places of worship offer free counseling and some of the facilities are used during weeknights for non-church related groups such as self-help groups). There are many opportunities that are free or sliding scale out there. Please pursue these. You will find help and possibly discover some emotional or mental roots that are triggering these feelings. The best to you and peace. Make sure you are getting enough rest, reducing stress in your life and continuing to eat well balanced diet and drinking plenty of water as well. Keep checking in, we care about you.

  • queenfluffqueenfluff Raw Newbie

    slosh -uh

    You are not alone. I go through this too and I don’t have maniac depression/bipolar (I have a psych degree so I know). Not saying you do or do not have it I guess it would depend on how controllable you feel the mood swings are. Do they come no matter what or do you think they are related to what is going on in your life? For me it is the latter, I am pretty hard on myself and I grew up in critical environment so living up to my own standards and dealing with past is what gets me down. It is a change in thinking about how you view things sometimes. I try really hard to change this – somedays I do great and other days I don’t.

    Like you said too – on the days I don’t do well, I am totally down in the dumps and the days I do do well, everything seems great. Mine always coorelates to things going on in life, events etc. – it isn’t something I can’t control.

    Normally maniac depressive/bipolars can’t control it – it is a chemical imbalance.

    Some normally stable people will notice these mood swings when they go raw. Who know what those toxins do to us on the way out? But yes, it is important that you don’t write everything off to detox if things don’t improve for you.

    One personal example of food related “mood swings” is that I can’t eat certain forms of soy anymore (not that those are raw anyhow but I am not 100%) – I get depressed and moody within a few hours after eating vegan soy products (like the faux meats and cheeses). This is something new which has started happening to me in the last few months. Before I could eat that stuff all the time and everything was fine. So, I don’t know what happened (my body is more sensitive now that it is cleanrer doing raw perhaps??) but I have to be careful if I eat that stuff. I can eat things with soy milk in them just fine and no moodiness but the other stuff can’t do it.

    I am also noticing the same thing with pasta (yeah the cooked stuff) and breads – Not sure of the exact conclusion yet, jury is still out but I think those are effecting me negatively too. But it could be that I just eat them at times when I feel bad about other things.

    One thing I have noticed with myself is that I was never depressed before until I was around someone who was. I had a bf a long time who had depression and sometimes I honestly think I learned how to be depressed from living with him. Not sure if this is really possible but it is just something I noticed myself. Being around negative depressed people certaintly doesn’t help.

    If you have never read it, I would recommend a book by Louise Hay called “The Power is Within You” – it isn’t about depression but it really helps with changing your thoughts. It definately brings me comfort on my bad days and it is this book that is helping me fight those long running old bad thought pattern that get me down. She has other books too that are great but that one is great for helping with the bad thoughts.

    I hope you are doing better soon and I don’t feel bad about posting this – you are not alone in this experience. It really helps me too to know that others struggle with this too. I hope we all get out of it permanently someday but it is nice to have the support. :)

  • Slosh, I go through this, too, except I don’t get the energy bursts, just the deep depression and self doubt. Certainly do find a counselor if you can, and I would also recommend finding something that really makes you laugh. Brian Regan does it for me. It may sound simple, but it really helps.

  • It sounds like the typical symptoms with bi polar disorder. I have read that MACA helps with mental health issues. Has anyone hear used it for this? I am going to buy some this week and try it. Doesn’t hurt to try. I have tried herbs but they didn’t work for me.

    Big hugs to you dear. Thank you for the bravery it took to be so honest with us. We are here to support you no matter what you are dealing with.

    Embrace the good times and BE PREPARED for the not so happy times. Come with up prevention plans for how to tackle the down times when they come. Make lists of things you can do to distract the negative mind and it’s energy. Know what makes you happy and be prepared to force yourself to engage in these things as much as possible, anything to bring positive energy… these things will become a shield of protection.

    And always, if you know what is upsetting you – PROCESS IT. Numbing and repressing makes things worse. If you don’t know what’s gotten you down and it’s a mood thing with no traceable link (at that moment) really put effort into your prevention plans. Sitting and sulking only makes things worse for me when I’m down.

    other key factors to help: Proper sleep, sound/balanced nutrition, good hydration, fesh air, exercise, meditation, art/creative energy therapy, movement, animal therapy, family and friends, volunteer work, etc

    And b 6 vitamin rich foods are natural mood boosters! Snack on some bell peppers or have a banana or raw sunflower seeds at hand!

    Ps. Are you in therapy?

    HUGSSSS

  • Slosh-uhSlosh-uh Raw Newbie

    Wow, thank you so much guys! I don’t really feel like I can talk to people about this kind of thing so all the feedback here is amazing. I really appreciate it.

    I’m not currently in therapy, but since I go to SF State I can get therapy there, which is something I’m definitely going to look into.

    TheRawDance—I used to put maca in my smoothie every morning and it did make me feel good. I also just started taking some vitamin B12, but I’ll get some B6 too. It’s funny that you should mention animal therapy because I work at a dog daycare, and I know that the quiet moments at my work when I just get to cuddle with the dogs always cheer me up =].

    WailingWoman—“Brian, which base are you on?” “GRAPE! I’m gonna get grape!” Oh man I love Brian Regan. Thanks for the smile you just gave me!

    Queenfluff—I’m not really sure why the moodswings come, they just do sometimes. I’m trying to pinpoint it though, it has a lot to do with some self-loathing issues I have. I will check out that book soon, when I’m down getting some tea and going to the bookstore usually helps. Thanks =]

    mandelicious—Funny you should mention drinking, because I did some very hardcore drinking for the first time in a looong time this past weekend. Have you ever been to Aunt Charlies? It’s a drag bar in the tenderloin. Their drinks are stronger than they taste. But thats beside the point. I kind of thought the drinking may have triggered it, so I’m going to stay off the drink and see how I feel. Last week I didn’t drink at all and I felt fine, but I don’t know. Thanks for all the advice, it was super helpful.<3>

    Thanks so much for all the kind words, the compassion that comes from total strangers on this site always blows me away, and it helps so much!

  • CarmentinaCarmentina Raw Newbie

    An addition to all the above which I totally agree with – get outdoors into the sunlight (ok, San Fransico sunlight!) get out jogging. Nothing makes you feel better and it’s been shown to work better/or as well as anti-depressants in cases of mild depression.

  • Slosh-uh,

    Just want you to let you know that you are not alone. I am feeling as your do at this moment.

    I have been advise to take vitamin B6 and vitamin D.

    I do believe that walking in the nature or near the beach can help. Also, listening to the music you like will change your energies.

    Blessings…xxx

  • MOTHMOTH Raw Newbie

    Slosh – I feel you. The only thing that helps me without fail to cope with my mental “issues” (have a string of labels, but I do not identify with them anymore since going raw) is physical activity, to ground in my body, either running or lifting weights or yoga, and also self-expression: writing, beating a drum, singing loudly, that type of thing…

    Wishing you the best. If I do these things daily, I can generally let go.

    And alcohol makes me psychotic; I would definitely stop drinking if you are depressed.

  • There are a lot of great suggestions here, not all will work for everybody. However, I had been on the depression ride for a few years a while ago, I had a lot of help and medicinal programs. The one thing that helped me the most was the physical program I embarked on. I lapsed after a few years and put on a lot of weight and withdrew but that was because of other issues. Having a pet that is dependent on me also really helped with my motivational process. My weasel “willis” has bought me a new lease on life. This all sounds a little sad and pathetic I kow but it is real and I feel so sad and sorry for anyone who has to go through this.

    HELPING YOURSELF IS A MUST!

  • jellibijellibi Raw Newbie

    Slosh, I’m with MOTH on this one. I can also get paralyzed by my own thinking patterns and the only way I can get out of my own head is to physically do something—I’m not such a sports person, so usually I just go for a walk BUT I listen to something while I’m walking (music, talk radio, whatever) so that my thoughts don’t take over. Also, drawing or painting (also while listening to something) works well for me. It also sometimes helps for me to not be alone during my down times, so I just will call a friend or family member and ask them to hang out. And- my all-time favorite thing lately: hiking. The trees will never let you down.

    Good luck, love, and hugs :)

  • I love it when people like jellibi know how to get themselves through these horrible horrible times we all can go through at some point in our lives. Inspiration jellibi!

  • this sounds a lot like me too, except for the thoughts about dying. today was a good example though, I am still in my pajamas and never even left the house. I’m between jobs though and just have nothing to do. My problem is more with anxiety I think? I talked about it with 2 of my best friends once, both of whom are on medication, one for GAD and one for social anxiety. Of course they both recommended that I take something but I really don’t like taking medications for anything, it freaks me out a little. My mom also told me that she gets mild depression, so it might run in my family or something. it’s a little frustrating though because for me it does seem situational.

  • Hi Slosh-uh, just wanted to check in and see how you were doing! :)

    Blessings.

  • queenfluffqueenfluff Raw Newbie

    Me too slosh-uh – How are you doing? Did you figure anything out?

    Hang in there! :)

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