Hello Beautiful!

It looks like you're new to The Community. If you'd like to get involved, click one of these buttons!

In this Discussion

whos had an eating disorder?

hey guys i thought i’d be brave and make a confession. im sure many of you have had it before. i thing we should let this negative part of us out, kinda shed it off. let the new raw fooder through. im hoping a raw lifestyle is the light through our dark tunnel. please share your experience?


  • Yep, But I heard a great quote that, “All Americans have some form of eating disorder!” Lori Miller

  • I’ve never been diagnosed or told I have any eating disorder but I have had quite a relationship with food. I’ve been either addicted to food, or afraid of it, or felt controlled by it or that I needed to control it. Either way, its such a relief to know that raw food is good for me, and when I eat it I don’t have to worry about whether or not what I’m putting into my mouth is good for me. Chances are, it is.

  • lstorzlstorz Raw Superstar

    hi “ilikenuts”,

    i come from a long line of women with eating disorders…. a lot of very dysfunctional relationships with food. one of the great things about eating raw is that it is so absolutley clear that my relationship with food is one of nourishment and getting energy from the food. the scary part about that is that, since i’ve been eating more raw, there is no buffer (i.e. food) between me and my emotions. sometimes that can be pretty intense. but it’s worth it. plus, eating raw and detoxing from eating so much junk for so long has made my body incredibly sensitive and perceptive both of food and how it is feeling. so, when i was using food as a form of abuse for my body, i really was so disconnected from my body. now i am much more connected to it, and i can listen to it better. it’s something both very gentle and amazingly strong.

    the main thing is that i just feel so much better eating raw. however, my transition to raw has come after years of working with my relationship with food. for me, though, having had an eating disorder and a pretty rocky relationship with food, i am extra careful about how i approach raw foods, and i really monitory myself to make sure that i am not using “raw foods” in any way to fall back into a self-abusive situation. for that reason, i did not transition cold turkey 100% to raw, and maybe i never will. who knows…. the truth is that i am slowly eating more and more raw, but for me, i need to not have restrictions. so when people ask me, “are you vegan?”, it actually surprises me. at this point, i am so focused on just eating what makes me feel best and what keeps me the most connected with my body and my spirit, that labels are irrevelant.

    i don’t know your experience, but my favorite book about eating disorders is “when food is love” by geneen roth. i think everyone should read it, eating disorder or not.

    happy eating!

  • thanks Istorz for being so open about it… i think i’ll pop by the book store tomorrow and get “when food is love”. im still not 100% raw yet, cos i live in a very pressurizing family. i feel my eating disorder is the only thing stoping me from being my full self. but then again, if i didnt have an eating disorder, then i would have never gone to the organic part of my supermarket and bought a larabar and foound out about raw foods. so maybe bad things lead to good things, we just need to be brave and sit through it. raw foods help reduce my purging alot, from 4 times a day to maybe…once. i’d only self abuse on cooked, raw food is too precious. like you, istorz, i feel more connected with my feelings, i question, why am i doing this to myself…we all have to learn to love ourselves to be healthier. may i ask how you overcome it everyday…mentally…when you face food.

    tyvm :)

  • MarichiesaMarichiesa Raw Newbie

    Hi Ilikenuts,

    I think you are a very brave and strong woman to bring this topic up. It also makes me think that you are far stronger than you realize and you have the ability to be a whole person in the face of any criticism you may feel from others. Approaching raw foods( or any healthy food) as a way of nourishing and truly loving our female bodies is key to long term success.

    I personally have a history of restricting with regard to food. While I’ve never totally gone to the dark side, my relationship to food and body image, self esteem and control/power has been an on going struggle. Going raw has stripped away alot of the garbage, literally and figuratively and I ‘ve seen my self and destructive behaviors clearly for the first time in years. At times this has felt freeing and other times quite painful.Overall its progress!

    Check out the website www.mamavision.com Its a fantastic ANTI pro ana website. Keep up the kindness to yourself. And..thanks for bringing up this topic. ;v)

  • lstorzlstorz Raw Superstar

    i like nuts—

    personally, i went through a very long process of working through my eating disorder… from anorexia/bulimia to bingeing to diets of every kind. it was a really rough time, and the whole “disorder” part of it lasted about 6 years. it ended when i read geneen roth, and it ended the day that i let myself eat as many candy bars as i wanted without feeling any guilt. i think i ate 7!!! but something changed in my mind then—i decided to listen to what i wanted, not what i “should” or “shouldn’t” eat.

    i really believe that eating issues are just a symptom of a lot of other emotional stuff. food is a form of nourishment, so it’s an easy means by which to act out deprivation on ourselves. for me, food was a way that i tried to make clear in a passive way that i wasn’t getting what i needed. for me, this was all related to family stuff.

    i’ve done a lot of therapy, and i advise it strongly. it’s extremely helpful to be able to look at what you’re doing and have someone else help you to understand WHY you may be doing that. that’s my problem with the way that eating disorders are frequently approached, at least in the US. they are seen as a strictly medical condition that just needs to be fixed. there is often a reluctance to go beneath the surface and to look at “why do i think that it’s okay to starve myself? why do i not want to feed myself? where is this coming from? where did i learn that?” it was really depressing, but helpful, when i realized that all of the women in my family, especially my mother, have dysfunctional relationships with food. so where was i going to learn to eat in a way that nourishes my soul and my body and to love myself as i was when i had no examples of that?

    good luck and happy eating! also, thanks for bringing up the topic.

  • MarichiesaMarichiesa Raw Newbie

    Hey Istorz,

    I like what you’ve written! You’ve really nailed it. Thx.

  • thanks for sharing you guys! :) its therapy to my soul.

    yeah, i think lulushk8 is right, friends have a big influence on our lives, especially those with eating disorders. i had a relapse because of this new anorexic girl, it made me so sad to look at her, and yet …yeah i stuck my head down the toilet. As ED sufferers, we are constantly looking for more information on health, in a way it is a blessing because in the future we know how to make the right choice.

    All the psychiatrists ive been pressurized to talk to are not as comforting as talking to people that have actually been through it. they don’t know how to judge if theyve never been there. i end up councelling them.

    sometimes i get so frustrated at something that the only way to release the tension is through bulimia. i always felt like the food weighed my high spirits down, disgustingly. well now i know i was eating garbage anyway.

    my mum has a dysfunctional relationship too, shes compulsive, gosh you’re right Istorz whats up with the female species…i was always forced to eat when i was young.im still struggling and ive watched many documentaries to try to help me such as “thin” and “im a child anorexic” really profound discoveries into the lives of those in ED rehabilitation centres. please take a peak.

    i would really like to set up a place for ANYONE with the slightest battle with food. The food i uncook will all be raw and infused with my love to help others. a non regimented centre surrounded by green where people can really open up and know that theyre not being stuffed with unhealthy grease to make them gain weight. we will use alternative therapies and get inspirational speakers from all over…they will be reborn with no guilt, start life anew.

    what a dream… :) maybe people at gone raw can help me.

  • Hey, I have been a binge eater since I can remember. I was a little overweight as a child. I used food as a coping mechanism against boredom, loneliness,etc. In early teens I would regularly binge on large amounts of food then fast to compensate.

    I went on periods of extreme fasting – 1 cup of coffee per day.

    Within a short time I became bulimic.

    I was enjoying the binges and still losing weight. This elation quickly turned to terror when my weight plummeted extremely low and I realised that I was addicted. I knew I was going to die If I didn’t stop. I don’t know who is watching over me, but I am extremely lucky to be alive today. I was a hardcore bulimic – bingeing and purging upto 9 + times per day for weeks on end. I would fast overnight then begin all over again in the morning.

    I tried rehab and a psychiatric hospital, therapy .. everything. Nothing worked. All I wanted was to be free of this bastard.

    Oneday something just clicked and I stopped.

    Here’s something said by the mother of a deceased bulimic (beautiful girl) ‘These illnesses come with a tremendous amount of stigma that is neither deserved nor helpful. We must not keep our child’s eating disorder a secret. The illness will demand that of us, but this is a demand we must refuse. Gently, we need to inform our child that we will speak openly with others, without shame, about their illness so that we are not isolated from the support and resources that others can offer. If the diagnosis were cancer, would we remain silent? Would we wait for our child to want treatment? Would we allow them to hit bottom before we took action?’

  • hey radishman, may i ask what made you click exactly? few nights ago, i was told that my oesophagus’ walls would thin down so much because of the purging that any day it might burst, let all the gastric juices into the sterile area around my lungs and let me die painfully. so i was freaked out. the habit stopped but the next night, i was at it again.

    when humans are built into a certain habit, its hard to break it.

    i still remember my mum lying next to me in hospital because my heart rate dropped abnormlly low, 40ish beats per minute. gulp

    radish man, are you completely rid of the disorder? i used to enjoy binging the first mouthfulls, then the food taste like bulks of animal stuffing…filling me up & up till it has to come out. my parents talk about it openly but they’re the ones making it worse with all the bickering. in a way raw foods have made me look foward to making my dishes with love. I’m so over tofu stirfries…YUCK.

    if i am ever having a child, i will educate her about my experience, not keeping secrets is the first step.

  • ZoeZoe Raw Newbie

    If everyone who is reading this thread could send you, ilikenuts, healing thoughts, energy and special prayers, I am sure we can make a difference.

  • omshantiomshanti Raw Newbie

    wow! this is an amazing thread, my blessings and good thoughts out to all of you who have ever suffered from an ED. Just this past weekend i was feeling so grateful for raw food for the freedom it has given me to eat and not worry about it. To feel full/satisfied after eating, to look forward to eating and know what i want to eat…I never went to the dark side of having a full blown eating disorder but i realized after embarking on raw that i had many issues surrounding food.

    Ilikenuts, your dream sounds beautiful, keep your goals in sight and let no one tell you you cant and one day you will find yourself prepareing those love laced meals in a beautiful environment, nurishing the souls of others. good luck to you!

  • Well i saw this post a day ago and just decided to reply. I have an overeating disorder that i have not overcome. Somedays i wont eat although i may be hungry and i know neither is healthy. It’s really hard especially being that i do have weight and health goals. At one point i was doing really good and was losing weight and all but it stopped. I cant even pinpoint when i fell of, but even now im trying to get back on track. I used to pray about it but it got to the point to where i thought it was senseless to pray about. I’ve decided to start back praying on my eating habits and making healthy choices because I dont think it is a stupid thing to pray over. Also my motivation to stay active and exercise. Seems like since i have been being careless about what i put into my body i have gotten super lazy. I know i will reach my weight and health goals, i have to. Just thought i would vent cause although i cannot see any of you in the flesh i know you hear and understand me. Proud of the rest of you that overcame your eating disorders!!

  • miss thomas, venting is always good for letting the soul breathe a little. if u have no place to talk, you can always come to the love of goneraw.com. one of the main things we all seek is balance in our lives. understand that it is not just foods that our ED revolves around, but other factors as well. emotional, physical, sexual…etc. they all inter-influence each other, and like a tri-pod, when one leg falls, its not long before the others do the same.

    i think its good that we notice our mistakes, and that we keep trying even though we repeat it.

    together we shall make a pac, that each day we will do something loving for our selves. you and i. whether it’d be just 15 mins of exercise or drinking a green smoothie. or even saying no to addictive foods. or no to purging. at least one thing…other raw fooders, can you give tips on what you do to subsitute binging?

  • Good point ilikenuts! I would also like to know if there is anyone else that binges from time to time, how do you deal with it or stop yourself from binging?

  • Hi Ilovenuts, thanks for opening this thread, I hope that you do realize your dream and open the space you want to open where you can pour your love into food and heal others. :)

    Missthomas, I used to have a problem with over eating and emotional eating, going raw cured me of that too. I believe that cooked foods paralyze the stomach, by eating raw foods and giving real nutrients to my body for the fist time ever I am filled and satisfied quickly. It took time for this to happen but if you stick to it you should see results too. I am not sure if you are still having overeating issues while you are still raw or if you are eating cooked foods in combination with raw. My experience is as I indicated above, when I ate cooked I could never be truly satisfied so I ate and ate and ate. Now a green smoothie keeps me going for hours, a dark leafy greens salad is deeply satisfying and when I eat fruit I feel full and satiated. :) Blessings to all, xoxo Dea

Sign In or Register to comment.