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Login Here Signup Here Signup using Facebookyeah my parents are on the SAD diet and i have tried to help them, but they wish to continue there unhealthy lifestyles until something serious happens to their health.
Although i have learned to accept their lifestyle, they have not learned how to respect mine at all.
Just the other day i was at borders at i asked my mom to lend me money to buy “Rawvolution” the recipe book and my mom had a tantrum.
She says “Im not going to be putting gasoline on fire, by supporting THAT points to book, you are not going to buy THAT!”
And every time I make raw foods she says something like “Whats that shit, again!” or gives me a disgusted look
how can i get my mom to understand that im doing to improve my health and skin?
Comments
Raw Jim thanks for the advice
I can’t way till im in college and i can go 100%
I’d just like to see if the healing powers in food are true.
Speaking of involving my parents in my raw activities, one time I invited my parents to go to a raw vegan resturaunt and never again will they even look at raw vegan food.
When they steped out they were like “I’m never eating food like that again, that was discusting”
Although my dad didnt like he gorged the food down any way like an animal. Soon he had to make a trip to the bathroom. I explained to him that was how his body was trying to filter out toxins because for the first time he only ate raw foods in a meal.
Everytime I bake and I have left overs I ask my family to have the left overs and most often they will say this is strange it doesnt taste right ( believe me it doesnt have to do with my cooking skills)
Sometimes I’ll give them the SAD food version of their cakes and muffins and they still say the same thing only because they always suspect vegan food to taste nasty.
Hi citrusgirl,
I read your post earlier today and really heard everything you were saying. I wasn’t sure how to respond, because your parents’ resistance and lack of respect for your choices in your life hits very, very close to home for me. You’re in a tough spot, because you’re still living in your parents’ home and, I assume, they are still paying the grocery bills. So, you have to work with those constraints.
I’m wondering if you could ask your parents (at a time when they’re not ranting about raw foods or bashing the raw food dishes that you make) WHY raw food scares them so much. I’m wondering: Are they threatened by it? Do they have health problems of their own that really scare them? Are they afraid of you being different from them? Are they seeing your eating choices as a kind of rebellion or a threat to their “power”?
Also, I wonder if you could compromise. What if you agreed to see a nutritionist or naturopathic doctor or whatever kind of “health authority figure” in return for them leaving you alone? I don’t know if it would help, but when I was anorexic in high school, I agreed to see a doctor and that sort of helped my mom (who was on my case all the time) to feel satisfied in getting her two cents in and it was painless on my end.
Last piece of advice: Since it sounds like you are going to college, I will gently recommend seeking out like-minded community there and taking advantage of the free counselling services that most colleges offer their students. It sounds like you could definitely use some extra support with all of this. Just don’t be afraid to seek it out.
And bravo to you for taking charge of your health at such a young age! It’s very admirable and inspiring.
Unfortunately the last person many parents would learn from is their child. I would try using a different messenger than yourself. My favorite is the film “Eating”. Nearly everyone in the film are Doctors. This gives the Vegan message a lot of credibility for those in the SAD world.
You can get the DVD for $12 here… http://www.ravediet.com/
You can find supportive news articles and leave them laying around also???
I had it tough growing up with very strict & religous parents. You will survive! You’ve got all the support you need right here online! We all empathize with you and wish you the best.
citrusgirl – hang in there!! I have an uplifting story for you.
My mom also thought I was insane when at 16 I decided to go vegetarian. It was very difficult in the itty-bitty town I lived in and I subsisted off of milk and cheese. I unfortunately went back to a SAD (which, honestly, my vegetarian diet at that time was pretty SAD).
After I’d moved out, I became a full-fledged vegan at 19/20 (don’t remember). Again my whole family was worried about my nutrition, the weight loss I experienced, etc. I heard all the crap from both my family and my husbands family (he is also a vegan).
Lo and behold, after watching me and my husband and our children who are also vegans with high amounts of raw, and how incredibly healthy we are, they are slowly coming around.
I am proud to say, today, my MOTHER has been a vegetarian for a full year plus some months!! She became a vegetarian at age 59, after eating a SAD for that many years.
My in-laws have enjoyed many a vegan dinner, and even raw vegan meal, with us. THey have adopted MANY vegetarian/vegan prinicples in their lives. Some may not seem huge to raw foodists, but they are – like, the only buy free-range organic eggs now. That is a step UP!!
Your parents are watching you. They may think it’s stupid now, just because you’re challenging the norm they’ve always lived by. Honestly, they probably have hurt feelings because suddenly you’re not partaking in THEIR food, but choosing to make your own. THat can hurt a mom especially, who cooks for her family out of love, even if it isn’t healthy. She’s doing what she knows to do for you, and probably feels threatened by your saying it’s not the correct way.
If you stick with it, show them through your life that you are serious about your decisions and health, they will listen – even if they don’t act like it. IT took my mom 5 full years, and suddenly, she seemed to change overnight.
Above all else, respect them and their decisions. They are older and more set in their ways. And honestly, if a family member became a born again CHristian and was constantly wanting to take you to church, leaving you Bibles in the room, handing you tracts, would you want to listen?? I think it’s better to be quiet in your choices and let your life speak for itself.
Istorz I’m glad you have came out of all your problems much stronger. As for my parents my dad and mom fear i may get too thin.
My mom especially became jealous of me when i was loosing weight during cross country and immediately wanted to stuff as much food down my throat as possible and putting unhealthy high fat snacks around the house and suggesting i take many days off from cross country.
My mom is about 117 pounds 5 foot 5 and is 41 years old, if i became as thin as her she feels like she is loosing her power and her beauty.
By no means do i wish to be extremely thin because i am a thin person to begin with or be prettier than my mom.
chris carlton I would love to buy the DVD, but my family would never sit down and watch it.
Most movies I try to watch with them they fall asleep or tell me to take out the video so they can watch something on tv, but I would love to see the video :)
citrusgirl my parents are the same way. I was raised in Georgia lived there for 18 years eating my mom and grandmothers home cooking. I moved to California became vegan then a rawfoodie. My sister and I both live in CA and are both raw. My grandmother CRIES when we visit because we wont eat her southern cooking. It’s been a long time for her to get over that I’m not raw because I hate her cooking. My mom would always roll her eyes when I would eat a salad at dinner if that was my only option at a restaurant (which it often was). For christmas I asked for a big 9 tray dehydrator (so did my sister) my mom was so not understanding about it and tried to get us to want something else. When we told her why we wanted them and how we wanted to make recipies she started to be more interested. She never new Raw foodist had recipies and could actually make meals. Now my mom is more understanding and she actually ended up buying herself a dehydrator for christmas too! Granted she only makes dehydrated fruit in it but it’s a start! And I do get an eye roll every once in awhile. I still have to calm my grandmother down when I talk to her but she’s coming around. My mom tells her she would rather us be rawfoodist then drunks and drugies. It’s been 3 years since I’ve been first vegan and now raw so I think your mom will come around. Give it time. If my conservative never wanting to change southern mom now cares(more) about what she eats yours will too. Keep hope alive!
Citrusgirl, i have had similar experiences. Mum supports my choice but dad is always skeptical, whatever i eat. He thinks me preparing a salad is me going on a fad diet and that i’m doing it just to lose weight or something. Parents are pretty watchful for eating disorders and it might be like that in your case. Naturally they should want what’s best for you and hopefully they will come around to accepting your choice to go raw! It might help to explain to them that what you’re eating isn’t anything new, it’s what people were designed to eat. Good luck i hope it all goes well for you
Wow…your parents are strong willed! I’m sorry that they aren’t supporting you, but I am so proud of you for striving on for what you know in your heart is the best thing for you. As a parent of 6, 3 of them being adults, I know that often fear can drive our emotions over-board. I would say that since RAW is so foriegn to them, they are afraid that your health is being jepordized, since your not eating “normal”...knowing what we know about the SAD diet this seems so crazy. It’s also hard, when we know that they could feel so much better if they tried RAW. My advice – just do what you do…quietly, without judgement, and let them see over time that it’s working for you, and I suspect, that it will only be a matter of time before they come asking questions!
Yeah, my mom is okay, she doesn’t agree, but she doesn’t bitch. However, everyone else does, and I just want to smack ‘em!
citrusgirl—it sounds like your mother is spiritually unhealthy. no mom should compete with her daughter. that is NOT loving parenting. i think you need to trust your decision and come to terms with the fact that you are wiser in this regard. this means gathering yourself around that point of balance where you know what you are doing is right and you are not moved by nay-sayers. it doesn’t matter how far from home you get until you can give less importance to their approval.
your parents may one day learn to appreciate what you are doing and embrace that as a part of what they CREATED when they brought you into the world. but you cannot change them until they decide they want to. no article or recipe is going to do that for them.
i wish you the best of luck.