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DeborahBee
Raw Newbie
Hi,
My boyfriend only eats meat meat meat and chips. Sometimes chicken and ham fried rice. He lives on sandwiches, pasties and no fruits or vegetables. He has a terrible diet.
I learn a lot about nutrition as I am naturally interested in it and now studying it at university. My aim is to become a holistic nutritionist.
When I learn about disease and diet it breaks my heart that my boyfriend is digging his own grave with his knife and fork. He is 30 and showing signs of aging more than any of our other friends. His eyes are cloudy and dull and look like the eyes of an old man.
I have suggested subliminal mind cds, hypnotherapy and CBT. He shows no interest in anything.
My boyfriend will not be tricked into eating something. He won’t eat a soup with little bits of tomato in.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can tackle this?
Any good lines I could say?
What approach can I take?
Thank you x
Comments
Hi there. I feel your pain, although with my best friend. She has a fruit phobia, according to her, and has never eaten anything resembling fruit in her life- not Orange juice, not a smoothie, literally nothing. She also only eats carrots and potatoes as veggies. Honestly, as hard as this is, there is nothing you can do to make them change their habits. Just be a living real life example of how happy and healthy you are and hope that this will inspire him to make the changes on his own time when he truly wants it. Pestering them about it will only make them less inclined to change. Sorry but it’s the only truth I have found regarding this topic!
It’s upsetting to see someone kill themselves slowly; I know. I have a very close relative who is now dying slowly of cancer directly related to living style.
Because of your boyfriend’s mother’s early indulgances to him, he’s (probably)extremely addicted to the foods he should not eat. It’s physical and terribly hard to stop. The emotions run wild and dropping the sugars, carbs and meat fats result in fast depressions. It phycially hurts to stop this crap even for one day. He’s on an insane ferris wheel.
He’s a guy and most guys are influenced by other guys, so my suggestion would be to see if he will at least read pages by men who are raw foodist, like Storm from The Garden Diet. Actors and musicians are great influences, too. But like juice says, no pushing.
It’s okay to be emotional, hun.
Thank you both for your advice.
I have never pushed him, as I know that is a bad tactic.
I tell my boyfriend information, about what I’ve read or about what I’ve learned in university. And try to keep it in an informative tone. Even if I talk about what I’ve learned in a lecture it will get my boyfriend’s back up, as he thinks I’m having a direct hit at him. Which I’m not. He’s very sensitive about his bad diet and this shows whenever anyone mentions anything about food to him.
I experience great happiness eating the way I do, the only thing that brings me down is this issue.
Alix1962, I showed him Storm’s page a few months ago. But no effect. I like what you said about guys being influenced by other guys so will have a look for some men’s health magazines.
You sound like you’re exactly where I was about a year ago. My ex didn’t have a problem with eating fruits/veggies, but was of the attitude that life was best lived at the bar. I also tried the fact-dropping technique but to no avail. I also found myself eying others and wandering in my mind towards the end of our relationship. Probably the biggest problem I found was as I started to cleanse I began to notice his lifestyle seriously impacting his emotional vibrancy, awareness to feelings, and motivation.
My advice would be to seriously sit down and talk with him about how you feel. I would say approach it with a light sense of humour, but then you might not get taken seriously enough. Or perhaps try turning it into a challenge somehow, rather than a chore. Give him something to prove and he might show greater changes. However, I think Alix1962 made a very valid point about severity of detox. If he doesn’t know what healthy is supposed to feel like anymore it might be difficult to be motivated enough to go through detox symptoms. Will he even eat cooked veggies, like curries or Indian food?
OMG Cheerydeb…I think your boyfriend and my husband grew up in the same home!
When I met my husband, his idea of a vegetable was a potato, corn, or a frozen concoction of i-don’t-know-what cut into perfect dice. He never ate fruit, as he has told his mother he didn’t like it!
His eating habits helped me to gain far, far too much weight over the course of our marriage. Of course, he gained 5 pounds while I gained 25.
When we began to talk about having children, I told him I would not bring a child into this world if his eating habits were going to influence him/her. Slowly, he began introducing broccoli or cauliflower with cheese sauce. Then BBQ’d asperagus with balsamic vinegar and parmesean cheese. Once he tried these vegetables and began to like them, I slowly weaned him off the sauces.
He still isn’t great. I’ve eaten about 80% raw for the past month, while he dines on steak, pastas, pizza, and yes…veggies…across the table from me.
I have learned over almost 17 years of marriage that you need to do for you, and try to ease a man into a better way of eating. He’ll never be a vegetarian, let alone a Rawbie like me, but the way he eats now is a vast improvement over what his mother gave me. The rest is up to him.
I was just reading back over this. We have now broken up!
Living in a home where all the food is raw is wonderful.
Thank you for your advice Raw_Chocoholic.
My boyfriend will not eat curries or Indian food. He has never tasted these things, but claims he won’t like them.
DeborahB, I found it difficult to date somebody who didn't care about his health. My ex bf would always criticize me about eating raw and how it had no health benefits. Glad you're happy and surrounded by raw!!
wow it would be so great to be in a raw home. easier by far =)
Thank you joannabanana :)
For the 8 years I was with my boyfriend I always told myself that diet wasn't important but it was so very important.
Having only the food I buy in my home means there are no temptations which has helped me enormously.
i read this this morning and iw as thinking , 'hmm maybe she needs to break up with that guy.' the eyes looking unhealthy is what got to me... :) im glad your happier and healthier now.
good for you! i was thinking you should break up too. it seemed like it was upsetting you. if he ever comes to his senses, at least he saw you eat well and has a tiny bit of a clue what to do.
My advice would be to accept him as he is and respect him, or if you can't, move on. Unfortunately, these things are very tough and some people don't care about their health; they are too addicted to unhealthy food and/or honestly don't care to live long, healthy, and happy. We can't force them to care, nor to learn about what diet would be healthiest for them.
I have a feeling if you make this your concern and your duty (I understand you care for him and that's why you'd want him to be healthy), your life will be full of endless frustration, and this is not good for YOU either.
Oops, sorry - I didn't see the date nor the last few posts. :)