i’ve posted here a while back and everyone was very supportive and kind, so i wanted to get some feedback again. i was completely raw for about a month, and it was the best i’ve ever felt – for the first time in my life i wasn’t tired in the morning, i was happy, i felt centered and grounded and exercise was easy and satisfying. seriously amazing. people were telling me i looked great. and it was the first time i didnt feel a profound hate for my body. i was anorexic in high school/college and had slowly transitioned into being bulimic. that’s why i went raw in the first place, so i would stop binging and purging. and it worked!! i only puked once in the month i was raw. then some stress came up in my life and i just snapped one day. i went from raw and happy to binging and purging 4 to 8 times a day and MISERABLE. i do see a therapist sometimes, and i have some supportive friends, but the only solution i see is going back to 100% raw. most people think i’m being too “extreme” when i say this, though. they all say that it’s that tendency toward extremes that is causing me problems in the first place and that i should do something more moderate.. eating mostly raw but some cooked vegan/vegetarian, etc. what do you think? the past few days have been a bit better but i am pretty freaked out. the health aspects alone are pretty horrible, and i already have had weird heart poundy episodes and dizziness and this and that. i dont have insurance but hopefully i will soon, so i can go to a doctor. sadly, i think people at my job might know what’s going on, and that makes me feel super awkward, since i work a health store.. isn’t that really hypocritical? also.. i am moving into a new house in a week, with housemates i dont know. i NEED to stop binging and purging, because i wont be living alone and i cant have other people seeing/hearing/knowing. yuck. i just hate being miserable and sick! and i hate buying all this horrible corporate unhealthy poisonous food! and that guilt just makes me want to throw it up more. i am SORRY this is so long and personal and ranty, but i dont have a lot of opportunity to discuss the issue. if you made it through all that – bless you and thank you. you guys keep me (marginally) sane.