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Login Here Signup Here Signup using FacebookMy mother is not raw, nor vegan, or vegetarian but she eats extremely healthy, is EXTREMELY small servings. she is working way over time on a very small amount of fuel. Her symptoms are extreme anxiety, depression, low self esteem, a very jumpy though process, and shes quite neurotic. She is very isolated, by choice, and every antisocial. (but is naturally a social person) she has not always been like this… She had a stroke five years ago and the doctors had no answers as to what on earth caused it… all that hey could think of was stress and malnutrition. Im really really really worried about it because I see her going down this path again. Its evident that she doest not eat enough what so ever, and she does not have a big appetite (i know ginger helps with that). For a while, a while back, she was obsessive compulsive about working out every single day and never ate enough or slept enough. Now shes stopped going to the gym, thank goodness, but still works full time, all day, on 4 hours of sleep, as well as doing all the house hold chores (younger siblings dont do anything, nor does “dad”) and none of them think twice about here state. She is worried about every fu**ing think all the time, and she has to tend to her 12 year old daughters needs. (giving her rides, making her food, dealing with her nasty hormones) And she is at the end of her rope. I know, that changing her diet will help… I just need some advice…. :( can anyone help?
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Sounds like she may be in ketosis. I got it once when I was eating 500-600 SAD calories for a year. Might be something to look up.
she eats extremely healthy
Why do you consider her diet healthy?
She had a stroke five years ago and the doctors had no answers as to what on earth caused it
My mother is not raw, nor vegan, or vegetarian
http://www.purelyraw.com/whyplantfoods.htm
Get her diet right, blood flow blockages in our brain is very serious. She does not need to risk this again. But also my main concern is… Who is currently loving and caring for her? Is she being touched often? You can intervene, it’s OK. You can tell her how you feel. You can tell the whole family how you feel. It’s OK. Write it all down if you don’t want to tell them direct.
AYLEE – I am sorry to hear that your mother is doing so poorly and it is understandable that you are worried about her.
I have no healthcare training but it sounds like your mothers symptoms could be caused by numerous different or a combination of things like an eating disorder, adrenal fatigue/issues, exhaustion/stress overload, depression, etc. Stress can certainly give you a stroke.
Does she realize she is having these issues? That is the majority of the battle as many with those type of symptoms don’t realize they have a problem. I know this because I have been this woman. Maybe you could get her on board with a good holistic practitioner.
A few other suggestions:She may be unwilling to comply with any changes as that is a symptom of someone with hyperactive thought and depression complicated by little sleep. I would think the meditation is a guaranteed plus and maybe she could take some melatonin one night when she doesn’t have to do anything the next day and try to catch up on her sleep.
Good luck and I hope you can find a way to help her and that she will get on board with it.
It sounds to me as if your mother has suffered from anorexia nervosa for a number of years. Anxiety, depression, self-imposed isolation, low self-esteem and extreme moodiness or mood swings all go hand in hand with an eating disorder. The fact that she is hyper-aware of what she eats, eats portions so tiny that she clearly isn’t adequately fueling her body and mind and was over-exercising (based on calories in) makes it all the more obvious to me that she is anorexic. She may not appear to be underweight or emaciated, to you or others, but the rest of the signs are there. The stroke could have been brought on by the constant strain she is putting on her exhausted body. Caloric restriction and the long-term effects of even slight malnutrition will certainly impair her ability to sleep properly at night.
What can you do about it? You can only approach her gently and with sensitivity. Anorexia Nervosa is very difficult to treat. The recovery rate (meaning people who are no longer anorexic) is quite low. She may remain this way for the rest of her life, but it you share your observations with her and express love and concern for her health and happiness, you might be able to persuade her to get help.
Remember this important fact: no matter how good your intentions are, you can’t change another person. What works for you won’t necessarily work for someone else. The only way to get someone to change is if they truly want to make those changes for themselves.
How old are you and how old is your mom? Do you live together? I agree with Chris Carlton’s approach. And your mom may be trying to control her diet because she can’t control other things in her life. I wouldn’t assume your mom has an eating disorder though. If she is health-concerned with her diet though, why don’t you introduce her to raw? Show her before and after pics. Maybe if she sees all the smiling faces she will try it (maybe challenge her to try for a month). When my boyfriend and I went raw we both saw a huge change in mood; much calmer, less anxiety, clearer mind. If she could feel those changes, maybe she would stick with it. Could you cook for her? Or designate chores in the house or drive your sis. Chris had the best advice though, get your family together and tell them it’s important to you. Say mom is important to all of us enough that something needs to change so she is around. She deserves to be happy for all she does.
My mom is high strung too. I live across the country now, but when I was home I would get her and take her out of her environment on little day trips, get her to crack up and be goofy. Now when she is stressed I try to let her vent and jut be real easy-going and a voice of reason and tell her I love her.
Let us know what you think and what happens with what you decide to do
Oh, and don’t force vegan-veg on her if she’s not ready. Some raw is better than none. BTW, my boyfriend is raw paleo (raw animal products) and is doing as well as i am so the key is raw
By Healthy, chriscarlton, an example of a days meals would be, waking, wheat bran, grain/granoal cereal, skim milk. Lunch, an assortment of nuts, perhaps some tofu, and fruit/veggies. Supper, she will have a soup, salad, fish/some type of meat, and bread or noodles ect. Never chips, never chocolatebars, no pop. I have been explaining to her, that when going through menopause soy is in fact quite good and that she should try to add a bit into her daily meals. She does drink coffee, not obsessively but fairly regularly.
Meditating; SHe does realize it, but instantly responds to it with a hopeless and embarrassed approach. I encourage her that it is not negative or “bad” its simply that shes a bit off track of a healthy path, and that is a learning process. She often says “oh im stupid, im stupid” Kind of thing.. Meditation is wonderful. I use to talk with her about it often, she enjoys yoga a lot, but does not feel that she has the time to do it. Im sure it will come with time.
sid23, I am only 18 and she is 49. I do live at home, and I do alot of the kitchen cleaning and cooking. I have offered to cook for a whole week, but I work full time as well, so I dont usually get home untill 6pm. By then they have already eaten. WIth raw foods though, i could just prep things the night before. I think that if I get her and my little sister to help out with cooking and preparing foods, and teaching them about sprouting that they will find it interesting and perhaps, on their own, begin to incorporate more raw foods naturally into their diets.
I think that the rest of my family knows that something is just not right, but they do not understand the connections between past happenings and current behaviors. I have been trying with the young siblings to help them better understand that despite the generic assumption that the mother is the one whom does the house work and keeps things in order, we are mature and capable to help out. My father is stubborn… and he just will not listen to me.
I know many consider some of those foods to be healthy. I don’t believe so. We love to believe that bland, brown and hard to chew is good for us. “If I am suffering then I am doing it right.” While I understand the argument that these foods are better than chips & pop etc. This doesn’t make them healthy, only less harmful. Health benefits gained from switching to these traditional ‘health foods’ are probably more due to a reduction in their total toxin intake, because less horrible stuff is being eaten instead of any actual increase in life force/health gained from the energy of these dead brown foods. Some may consider this an extreme opinion but 15 years from now I bet this will be considered common sense.
Chriscarlton, you are totally right. I agree 100% Im glad to hear it from another though.. I often feel as if I am being sort of... extreme in a sense that I am pushing my life style upon others.. But in this situation, there is no doubt that my life style is much more appropriate.
I have offered, and insisted that I do the grocery shopping this week, I will incorporate nearly 70% fresh raw vegetables. We have always been good on fresh raw fruits. I will also have to start emailing here some helpful links and if i ever have any, books on raw foodism. I think a source other than my "punk ass" mouth would make the world of a difference. (I think shes a bit stubborn and skeptical about my opinions)
you can get raw books for free at your local library. I used to get my local library to order them in for me, it now has a well stocked raw food shelf for everyone to enjoy ;)
(((Hugs)))
I admire and respect you so much for wanting to help her. Her behavior, stress, and past health problems have been affecting you for a long time, and it would be so easy for you to just avoid/walk away from this situation.
I believe 1sweetpea when she says that your mom has the signs of anorexia, and that's not something you and your siblings can cure her of. She needs more help than you're equipped to give her. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like she has a great deal of motivation to heal herself, which is sad, since she has such wonderful children! I don't know how to convince someone to seek help when they're not self-aware enough to know they need it - or don't want to listen.
On her particular diet, of course I agree that dairy and meat are not part of a healthy diet, but what she's eating is probably less important than the obsessive behavior surrounding it. It's the psychology that's the concern here - and once she's in a better head space, she can work on a healthier diet that will sustain her body better for the energy she expends.
On a personal note, my dad was an alcoholic and my mom had her own dysfunctions, so as a teenager I also felt the need to play the caretaker role for my parents and my younger brother. But this role is fraught with its own unique problems...so please be careful and get the support YOU need from friends and the wise people here, and consider seeing a counselor just to be able to unload freely on someone.
My mum is in the same situation as yours.
My mum had anorexia when she was younger, and this has affected her now as an adult.
She barely eats, and she also had a stroke too (and again, unexplained).
I think what you need to focus on is her and make her feel special. My dad doesn't help either, so I understand.
Just focus on her, make sure she eats at least 1000 calories.
Encourage her to try a bit of your food even if its just a mouthful. Eventually she will want to try more foods, and it will become easier as time goes along.
If you have weighing scales in the house get around to binning them!
I found that helpful too :)
I wish you all the best.
xxx