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I want to date a raw vegan.


Not necessarily anything serious, just fun and companionship. I am the ONLY ONE I know who eats this way and I have to admit that I daydream about dating a raw vegan. CONSTANTLY! My passion for health and raw foods has increased to the point where I do not think I will be able to date anyone who doesn’t eat the way I do.

I KNOW diet isn’t everything…but well, we are what we eat! I don’t want to kiss anyone who puts anything dead into their body, you know?! Maybe it’s a little neurotic and obsessive to think this way, but well, I just want to be honest and share my feelings on the topic…Goneraw is as good a place as any to lament about something that’s been on my mind for awhile. I fantasize about uncooking together and just ‘being raw’ together.

At first I was thinking that I would still date a vegan…but many vegan’s still eat like crap! And I do believe that cooked food is dead food. That view might be extreme to some…but it is real for me.

I would LOVE to share my love of fresh, raw living foods with a partner who UNDERSTANDS WHY I eat this way!

Part of me wonders if I am being materialistic. But I believe that diet influences consciousness greatly and there is a certain type of energy that I am attracted to…pure raw energy.

I don’t mean to be divisive or nit-picky; I love my friends and respect their right to eat however they wish. It’s their bodies. But if I am going to share MY BODY with someone, I would like it to be someone who eats raw…

can you blame me?

In the meantime I will just stay RAW and single. ;-p



  • ZoeZoe Raw Newbie

    have you been on www.giveittomeraw.com ? seems to be a lot of single straight raw men on there ;)

    I know how you feel. I’m lucky coz my husband is raw too, but I was single for 5 years before I met him, I think I deserve him for that long five year wait ;)

    Have you considered going to the Raw Spirit Festival? Or other raw events? I think they would be good places for picking up a raw man. That’s where I’d be if I was in America and single.

    You are beautiful, I am sure there are plenty of raw men who would just Love to be by your side.

  • MOTHMOTH Raw Newbie

    Aw, thanks, Zoe! I was hoping I’d hear from you. I’m not a member of giveittomeraw, but I will definitely investigate further, hehe… ;-)

    You’re right; I NEED to start going to some raw food events and meetups. I’ve been putting it off even though I’m a member of the Boston Meetup group. and get notices in my email every week about the goings-on. I guess I’m a little shy; I’ve NEVER MET another raw person before in person. But the desire to meet and have companionship with someone who eats the way I do is overwhelming sometimes. I would love to go to Raw Spirit Festival..I’ve seen online videos of the event and it just looks so clean and healthy and fun. I think I’ll try to go next year…I have a whole year to save up!

    You’ve motivated me…I’m gonna branch out!

  • greenghostgreenghost Raw Newbie

    Moth you said it! And Good God can I relate!
    I sure wish you the best.
    It’s no fun to feel lonely.

  • Paxton SquiggledyPaxton Squiggledy Raw Newbie

    Hi Moth. Not sure if this yahoo group is active or not, but if it is it may be just the thing: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rawglbtveg/

    Not trying to be nosy, but what state are you in?

  • Paxton.. off topic, but please tell me that’s not really a sign posted somewhere

  • Paxton SquiggledyPaxton Squiggledy Raw Newbie

    Hi, thorne. :-)

    I think it is, but can’t confirm it. Wouldn’t it be funny if it was, though? LOL!

    Moth, forget the other link. This looks like a much better one: http://www.veganpassions.com/desearch/search.html

  • JaimeReksJaimeReks Raw Newbie

    Hey! I know this might not be what you want to hear, but don’t give up on people who haven’t found the lifestyle yet. After dating a guy who wouldn’t even try vegetarian for a week while I was vegan, well, I dumped him. But then I dated another guy who went vegan after meeting me, and after dating for almost two years he went back to no-vegan:p. Anyway, my boyfriend now, and definitely a keeper, has since I met him, quit drinking(he was an alcoholic) quit smoking, will not do drugs again, and has gone vegan. He also plans to go raw completely within the next two years. When I convince him to eat mostly raw for just a few days, he feels noticeably better and loves it. He also has agreed when we move in together to go raw, since I’ll be able to make all of our meals. So, even though he seemed like the last guy ever to go raw(ate cheese and meat constantly) he is now a happy vegan, that will one day be raw! :) So.. don’t give up on helping inspire someone to go raw as well:)but best wishes in finding someone who already found this lifestyle! It could definitely be easier!

  • Honestly, I thought dating a vegan when I was a vegan was the way to go (and I wasted about 5 years thinking this), but just because someone is vegan does NOT mean you will be physically attracted to them, does not mean they are nice, does not mean you will be sexually compatible, does not mean anything except perhaps they care about animals.

    I became very happy when I started dating an omnivore who is sweet, considerate, thoughtful, attractive, respectful, and I am sexually compatible with. I’d rather be alone than simply date some random vegan…..if you are comfortable with yourself, seek the best for you, but that may not be a vegan or a raw foodist.

  • jellibijellibi Raw Newbie

    MOTH, I know exactly what you mean and I think it is so good for you that you are able to identify what you want in a partner.

    My husband is not raw, not even vegan or vegetarian…. drinks, smokes, eats meat—I don’t do any of those things. And, he has no plans of changing. Although, to his credit, he eats the raw meals that I prepare at dinner time and he likes them. He also supports my choices whole-heartedly, but just states that they are not for him. (note: we were both vegetarian when we met—and he didn’t smoke or drink then)

    I love him tremendously. He is an amazing person. Being intimate is often difficult though. It makes me feel incredibly guilty- but I do wish he would take better care of himself. It causes a lot of inner turmoil.

    So—follow your intuition and hold out for that perfect raw, vegan someone. That’s my advice anyway! :) —being a raw vegan can sometimes be so lonely anyway because it can isolate you from the rest of society, but it’s even lonelier if you can’t share that part of yourself with your partner.

  • heyenglishheyenglish Raw Newbie

    I agree with Superfood. The love of my life (and future hubby) is most definitely an omnivore. He loves it when I make raw dishes for him, and he’ll try new raw restaurants/cafes with me if I ask, but he’s happy eating meat and dairy and the like. Since diet is the only thing that isn’t 100% compatible, I really can’t ask for more. He’s my dream guy in every other aspect. He just knows that he has to brush his teeth after a meal if he wants a kiss. :)

  • ZanzibarrrZanzibarrr Raw Newbie

    I agree with superfood too, it doesn’t mean anything, I meet occasionally raw vegan people in London, and, boy, do we NOT get along!.. Especially I think those kind of things are pretty karmik and emotional and so conditioned to the way you were brought up, your parents, what you ahev tp learn in this life…so if there is no spark or anything…

  • MOTHMOTH Raw Newbie

    Everyone, thank you for your thoughtful replies! They have given me much to consider. And I have often fantasized as well about meeting someone who is not raw and then inspiring them to be raw with me. What can I say…I have a potent imagination and it’s always up to something, hahaha. :-p

    Superfood; your advice resonates with me! I know omni-eaters who are incredibly loveable and who I would probably date if they were interested.

    I AM going to get to some raw meetups though and check out the scene!

    Paxton- thanks for that site! Anyone else know of any other vegan/ raw-vegan sites like that?

  • Bananna1333Bananna1333 Raw Newbie

    Such an interesting discussion!

    Sometimes I think, if I were ever forced to be in the game again, vegan would be a must.

    That being said, my omnivore ‘soulmate’ is just irreplacable! So he is ‘gandfathered’ in….which means since he was already my soulmate prior to my changes and so on, he gets to stay, lol.

    My thinking for possible future decisions that way would be that I wouldn’t want to fall in love with someone who is going to die sooner from some dietarily preventable, deadly disease….is it really better to have loved and lost? ....like I would never go out with a smoker for the same reason…I don’t want to see the love of my life breathing out their neck, it would be too painful to watch.

  • thecavsmanthecavsman Raw Newbie

    GREAT story JaimeReks. Just a year ago I looked down @ vegetarianism (only somewhat – just because I didn’t understand it), and ate pizza, cheesesteaks, and sausage egg and cheese sandwiches regularly enough. I’m sure at that time (if i wasn’t in a long term relationship, of course) someone like me could really have used a raw vegan coming along and telling me about this lifestyle. Luckily, I found it myself and now I am getting my girlfriend into it (she is going raw), but my point is that not every SAD person really wants to be that way and just don’t know any better. I am a raw vegan, but I wasn’t a few months ago. Anyone that really vibes with you will learn to understand your raw lifestyle and, more than likely, they will someday adopt it. You may meet an SAD eater that ends up being a raw vegan because of you – like Jaime did. Imagine how Jaime’s boyfriend would be eating now if she closed her mind to SAD people.

    There are plenty of people out there that want to eat right and THINK they are eating right, but are just throwing their money away on protein drinks, etc – don’t treat them like bad people. Just my opinion.

  • I don’t think wanting a partner to change is a good quality in YOU. You can think, “Oh, he’s perfect except….” but on HIS hand, maybe you’d be perfect if you’d just accept and love him for who he is, not who he is not.

    I love my omni guy to pieces.

  • angie207angie207 Raw Master

    cavsman – I agree – I know men who want to be healthy and are trying to take care of themselves by eating what they consider healthy food. Even though they’re dipping their veggies in Ranch dressing, it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date someone like that if everything else was a good match. There are vegan/raw vegan men I know who don’t respect women much or who have some other major character flaw(s), and I’d definitely go with the Ranch dippers over them. :)

  • angie207angie207 Raw Master

    Of course, if I happen to meet someone perfectly wonderful who is also raw, well I wouldn’t be complaining one bit! ;)

  • jellibijellibi Raw Newbie

    I agree with what you are saying, Superfood. That’s why it causes so much inner turmoil. However, like bananna touches on, it’s just hard to see someone you love not take good care of themselves.

    I don’t think there is anything wrong though, when you are in the searching phase, with identifying what you want in a relationship. It’s good to know what you want and to honor yourself enough to live up to your ideals.

  • Bananna1333Bananna1333 Raw Newbie

    Ya I guess…what a vegan would tell me is that they are trying to take care of their health. I would be looking for that desire to care for one’s body….just because, like superfood says, wanting a partner to change, is toxic to the relationship….so I would want them to atleast be already heading in that direction on their own.

    It Is painful to watch someone’s health you love deteriorate and you have to limit what influence you put forward to respect their individual choices. I agree jellibi

  • heyenglishheyenglish Raw Newbie

    Slightly off topic here, but MOTH, here’s a crazy but true story. I had this awesome teacher for Senior Project in art school, and she told me about this psychic friend she had. The psychic told her that you should write down all the qualities you want in a person. Writing this list tells the universe what you’re looking for. Every 6 months, you make a new list, to update things that may have changed.

    Well, when she told me about it, I made the list. I’d just gotten out of an awful 2-year relationship (which actually got me started with being vegan), and I was meeting a lot of people online. The first guy I went on a date with wasn’t bad, but I wasn’t ready to date, so I blew him off. (I met him right after making that list.) A year later, after lots of horrible dates with different people, we started talking again. And now we’ve been together for 6 months and he’s my One.

    Anyway, recently I went back and looked at my list I had made. For fun, (because I’d forgotten all about it), I decided to see how my honey compared to my list. Out of 50 things, some quite random and obscure, he scored a 49. Pretty crazy!

    So write a list. The universe will reciprocate. ;)

  • jellibijellibi Raw Newbie

    Also, if you read MOTHs first post again, it seems to be that what she desires most is someone to share her raw lifestyle with. (sorry to talk about you in 3rd person MOTH, as if you weren’t even here, lol) but that’s just what I gathered from what you posted.

    Those feelings are important. Everyone finds their own bliss in different ways :)

  • jellibijellibi Raw Newbie

    That’s a good idea, heyenglish!

  • AziahAziah Raw Newbie

    There is a lot of good advice here. Just to add to it, my hubby eats completely the opposite of me: whereas I am raw ve(bee)gan he has a freezer in the basement filled with pizza, wings, potato skins (you get the drift) and it is VERY difficult to live with him. Food is a big part of (all) our lives and it is difficult to not be able to share a meal with a family member. What is even more difficult is not having a partner who shares the same beliefs as you that carries over to the physical. I turned to rawism after my kids had unsolvable food allergies and I found I had them myself. I then came to believe that food is directly to related to health…not just obesity but mental health (like ADD and autism) as well as could be the source/cure behind diseases such as cancer. It is hard to have these beliefs and then to have a partner eating those very things that you believe cause harm. Am I making sense? It goes beyond “kissing” someone who eats meat.

    On the flip side, if I were you I wouldn’t set strict standards for whom you meet saying you will only date a raw vegan. How about saying you will date someone who is “open minded to trying new things”? Maybe you will meet a nice person who knows nothing about rawism and you will convert them…or perhaps you will meet someone who tries it and finds it too difficult to maintain at 100% but is willing to eat mostly raw with you.


  • Great topic and such wonderful thoughts and experiences from you all. Like you, MOTH, I also sometimes long for a raw partner (either now or one day in the future, as I am getting out of a long 9 year relationship). He was my first and only relationship, which developed into 3 kiddos and a marriage. Back when I met him, I was very strict with my ideals and refused to even consider a non-veg dude. Well I secured a vegan dude and it was great, in the beginning. But over the years we drifted and him simply being vegan and us sharing those ideals weren’t enough to keep us together. I’m slowly learning, by looking at the “functioning and healthy” relationships of those around me, that it’s not necessarily always gonna work just because you have a foundational similarity, like being vegan or raw. Granted, it kinda skeeves me out about kissing a boy/girl who eats meat, but I’m now at a point that I think I could be with someone who is open-minded and respective to my raw lifestyle. Now, my only hurdle is to find someone who is okay dating a raw-vegan-mama-of-3….I’m quite in a category all of my own, BUT I have faith that when I’m meant for new love, it’ll come into my life. Best of luck to all of you on a quest to find love. We all are so deserving and worthy of true love :-)

  • MOTH.. you are a beautiful young women! I’m sure that if you stay positive and write what you want in a partner and relationship it WILL come to you. I use that technique for many things and it never lets me down. I’m sure all of us women can relate to you. I have a boyfriend who was vegan when I met him and I turned raw 2 months into our relationship. Our two years is coming up and he’s 100% raw now. Also, he was into smoking pot big time, which that changed. Keep up the mantras and make sure you write that list. Anything is possible. I definitely recommended to join GiveitToMeRaw.com. The website is constantly growing.

  • queenfluffqueenfluff Raw Newbie

    I haven’t read all the posts but I know how you feel. My bf was more into raw than I was when I met him although we were both vegans.

    I met him through Raw Meetup. I am very shy with new people so it was very hard for me to force myself to go to the raw dinner meetup but I did. I have made lots of new friends now and it probably wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t pushed myself to go.

    Keep going to the potlucks, lectures and classes – any place where raw people go and you will meet someone eventually. Keep thinking you going to meet someone too and you will.

    In the meantime, keep busy with making lots of new raw friends – online is good but in person is better.

    There are lots of sites to join (there was hardly none when I didn’t have anyone so it was doubly hard).

    Their are some raw personals at David Wolfes site too. Also join the vegan/veggie dating sites too – lots of the times there are people on there gettting into raw and you might be the inspriation they are looking for.

    I agree with LittleOne – keep thinking those thoughts and things will come to you. I never believe this until a few months ago. I was always very scared and pessimistic. But I start thinking thoughts like “I accept — into my life” “The answers will come to me”. “I am very prosperous.” and things started happening. Weird I know but somehow it worked! Zoe, recommened a great book by Louise Hay – has thoughts to think to get things to come to you – even romance!

    You seem like a fun and interesting girl – I like the way you speak your mind. You will meet someone soon – because you are worthy of it!:) I will think good “romance” thoughts for you!

  • omshantiomshanti Raw Newbie

    Moth, be selective! I met my hubby through match.com of all things, and was not raw at the time . but i gotta say, having a profile out there that very plainly listed what i was looking for kept most of the incomapatible ones away…..I think of it this way, if you dont enjoy animals you wouldnt date an animal lover…if you are a non smoker its unlikely you would date a smoker( at least i wouldnt) so if yu are really interested in raw food and veganism, then by golly go out and find that!. good luck to ya! hey OT but how was yoga?

  • omshantiomshanti Raw Newbie

    Moth, be selective! I met my hubby through match.com of all things, and was not raw at the time . but i gotta say, having a profile out there that very plainly listed what i was looking for kept most of the incomapatible ones away…..I think of it this way, if you dont enjoy animals you wouldnt date an animal lover…if you are a non smoker its unlikely you would date a smoker( at least i wouldnt) so if yu are really interested in raw food and veganism, then by golly go out and find that!. good luck to ya! hey OT but how was yoga?

  • angie207angie207 Raw Master

    Sweet! I’m going to add more of the things I really want to my “list” – thanks, omshanti!

  • MOTHMOTH Raw Newbie

    Hey guys! Thanks for the replies. I really wanna reply more in-depth to people on this topic (but I’m at work at the moment) but I’ll be back!

    Thanks for taking the time to encourage and talk to me about this, and share thoughts.

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