Sorry this is a long post but I thought I should be informative incase someone can help me...
I'm rather unhappy with myself right now... All the hard work I've been doing eating healthy since over a year (I'm a vegan who's very low raw but doesn't eat heavily processed foods at all and I cook all of my own food) and now I'm binging uncontrollably...
I slowly started eating more and more, with times when that was normal when I'd go traveling and hiking in the Rockies, but since I've come back I do nothing all day (and I got depressed shortly after coming back with some relationship issues and I stopped worrying about a bunch of stuff that seemed not to get better, you know, giving up on many things) so now I'm binging on all kinds of things... Fruits like berries and bananas, hashbrowns made simply with potatoes and sea salt, porridge (oats or buckwheat with fruits), fatty foods like nut butters... I can't stop!
I know that it obviously partly has to do with my depression and submission, but I can also feel that my body is Missing something. I got tested in February (blood and urine test for a few things but nothing super thorough) and everything was normal, but I feel that even after I stuff myself silly, shortly after my body is HUNGRY, not just craving. So it's a combination of things... but I don't know what I'm missing!
Lately I was eating an organic local diet that pretty much consists of: oats, buckwheat groats, millet, frozen corn, green and red lentils, green peas, hemp seeds, ground flax seeds, frozen berries and apple puree, potatoes (potatoes are the only vegetable I eat decent amounts of which isn't good I think, especially since it's not considered a real "vegetable"...), green onions, winter squash, sea salt and a little bit of frozen beets. Before this change which happened a little over a week ago, I also ate brown rice, various fruits, cocoa powder, spinach, a few vegetables like broccoli (I have to say, I should eat more greens...), I stopped consuming (olive and coconut) oil since the beginning of February... I make rough estimates of my calorie intake and for a long while it was over 2000, lately was around 2400, and now I sometimes go over 3000! My weight went up after all the hiking and traveling I was doing which helped build muscle, but now this isn't muscle I'm building, I'm putting all this extra fatty weight back on... I was doing so good... I love food and cooking and am crazy about it, but now these cravings are taking over... I'll keep binging until I end up eating too much of one food, then I'll go to another. The other week I was super sick (vomiting and diahrrea) from eating too much of something and I thought I learned my lesson, but every day I'm risking overdosing... I feel so out of control! I went painting a house indoors today (a small part time job) and I thought that that would help keep my mind off of food, but I was eating food inbetween paint strokes! I feel the Need to eat and I also want the short-lasting-but-instant satisfying feeling of eating comfort foods. I have to say though, I don't crave super unhealthy junkfoods or any animal products - I never have since I dramatically changed my diet, and I've never been a big meat eater. Generally speaking, I tend to go for carbs - Grains and fruit.
In about 1 1/2 weeks I'm going on a big road trip and that will get rid of the depression or at least motivate me again (since about 3 days ago I also finally gave in to zoning out infront of tv series which makes things worse), but until then I don't know how to get myself out of the dumps or how to figure out what my body's missing without going to see a doctor.
Can anyone give me suggestions as to what they think is going on or what I can do to try and help myself? By the way there is no way that I'm pregnant... Any help is greatly appreciated.