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Okay, let’s start with the fact that I am the only one within a raw family. They all stand back and observe and think that I am a bit nuts. Well, that is nothing new to most of us. Been there, done that, right?

Over the holidays, Dera Grandparents bought us a Dear Fishy (betta). Being Dear Mommy, I wassaddened to see Dear Fishy swimming sideways in the bowl. Another one to flush? Oh no! As a last resort I figured that I would google “betta fish swimming sideways.” Little did I know that I opened up upon a most intersting topic. Dear Fishy was constipated, thus effecting his swim bladder and causing the sideways swimming thing.

Being Dear Mommy, I followed the directions to a T. Boil (yes COOK!) a single green pea, remove the skin and skick a pice on the end of a toothpick and dange it around (live bait) to encourage Dear Fishy to eat it. Then, it promisedwithin minutes the dear Fishy will be fixed.

Well, as I was dangling my toothpick and sharing words of encouragement, dear Family came home to Crazy/Dear Mommy. Although I readily shared the dilemma (my kids are too old to become weapy-eyed over this) and my “fix” I was greated by concerned stares….THEY CLAIMED THAT I WAS ATTEMPTING A MASTER CLEANSE ON THE FISH!

Yes all, Dear Mommy is so raw/health crazed that she is now cleansing the Dear Fishy. If they put me away, do you think that I will still have internet access???

Hope I made you smile (BTW, 5 minutes later, Dear Fish pooped and swam like a champ!)



  • MunchieMunchie Raw Newbie

    That is great! ha ha. Don’t worry if you don’t have internet access. We’ll all come visit and bring you copies of the posts and new recipes to try when you get out, haha. :o) That made my day! Thank you! ;o)

  • So glad…I thought it was hysterical (which made me look that much stranger!) Thanks for the offer. Bring food too….raw gruel? Ugh!

  • ItGirlItGirl Raw Newbie

    OMG That is FABULOUS!! Thanks for bringing a smile to my face! =]

  • That is too cute…But then again I know folks who HAVE master cleansed (with a bit of modifications) their cat+dogs! I gotta remember this pea thing cause I have had betas in the past who’ve been flushed or left to suffer (didn’t want to flush them still alive and thought maybe they’d get better somehow) doing this whole side-swimming thingy, great to know what it is now (and Oops I guess I would have caused that too wouldn’t I??) and how to fix them should I ever decide to get more. I think a photo of the look on the family’s faces would have been a money maker! Thanks for a good laugh! K-Mom

  • SbutterAMflySbutterAMfly Raw Newbie

    Wow, that made me laugh so hard I cried.
    Thank you for sharing!

  • MarichiesaMarichiesa Raw Newbie

    Best story I read in ages!!!! Thank You! I think I’ll have my family read it so they’ll realize I’m not the only goof out there.

  • juicyjuicy Raw Newbie

    Amazing. One of the most hilarious things that could possibly happen. I can totally picture the looks of shock on your family’s face. Thank you for sharing!

  • That is hilarious! I love it!

  • Glad you all liked that one. I have one about our dog that is funny(ier) but perhaps “inappropriate” If you all beg….I might be willing to part with it… :)

  • A constipated fish? That’s hilarious!

  • Okay…no one wants to hear my next story…???

  • BarbrawBarbraw Raw Newbie

    Awww…..go ahead. How can we refuse?

  • If it’s even half as funny as the first I definately want to hear it!

  • okay…
    So we went away and left the dog with someone. He took good care of the dog but kept him in nice quarters outdoors. The dog is always happy there. To make a long story short, the dog got skunked. Upon our return, we tried everything. Nothing worked.

    I finally came upon a website that suggested purchasing some feminine cleansing products…claiming the change in pH would benefit the situation. So off to the store I went. Poor guy behind the registered thought I was some kind of skank…6 bottles of douche on a Monday morning. Some kinda weekend, eh?

    Well I got home and started washing the dog down. Hating chemicals, I did the best I could. Just then teenage son comes home. Picture this…douche boxes etc. strewn all over the backyard. Poor kid. Gave me a sheepish hello and got on the phone.
    “Dad, something wrong with Mom. She is douching the (male) dog.” (there is a pause and then “No, externally.”

    LOL!!!! Sibling comes home and says that the dog smells great. All flowery. Yeah, says brother (here it comes) “like SUMMER RAIN”

    Like that one? For the record it totally worked and cost under $10.

  • omshantiomshanti Raw Newbie

    oh my! still wiping the tears off my face from laughing! but i wil keep in mind the douche treatment for skunks! we have 4 dogs and lots of neighborhood stinkers that cruise through looking for birdseed! beets theheck outa tomatoe juice which dies the huskies a pretty pink! teehee

  • rawmamarawmama Raw Newbie


  • oddly, tomato juice didn’t work (obviously!)

  • hahahahahahahaha. great stories hippie chick.

    I just ended the evening on a bit of high note. Thanks!

  • rawgrammarawgramma Raw Newbie

    Oh my goodness, these are the funniest stories ever! I read them with my daughter and we both had tears streaming down our faces. Thank you!!

  • ZoeZoe Raw Newbie

    Thanks hippie chick u gave me a good laugh!

  • MunchieMunchie Raw Newbie

    The second one was just as good as the first! Now, that’s my kind of humor… ;o) Wish my life was that exciting, lol.

  • That’s just too hilarious! What I wouldn’t give to have seen your husband’s face when he got that news! but I agree it sure beats using tomato juice which never seems to get all the smell out and our dog seemed to have had a fear of tomatos for some reason cause she freaked when we tried to wash her with it… I definately gotta pass these stories on! Thanks Hippie chick!

  • Thank you! Story one – funny…story two – I almost fell off my chair!
    A great idea for a television show/movie/etc.

  • Glad you are all laughing…sounds kind of Seinfeld-ish, huh?

    Munchie, exciting? That’s because I left out how P.O.ed I was that everyone left me with the dog problem and that I had to take the day off from work. LOL!

  • coconuttycoconutty Raw Newbie

    LOL!!!!!!! Great stories!!! :-)

  • Wow, what incredibly funny stories!! And yeah, I can see them making great sitcom scenarios- no need to change anything! Thanks for the great entertainment HippieChick! :)

  • Glad you liked it!

  • Funny stories. Regarding the fish, I met some raw folks in seattle who feed their outdoor fish raw food. They eat raw veggies and are healthy and big. The fish were sick at one point and they tried raw food because, well it heals us, so why not. Also the fish food is not what they would eat naturally from a lake, so I guess the raw land food is the next best thing.

  • juicyjuicy Raw Newbie

    Seriously hilarious stories! I have told at least 10 people about the fish one, and now I have another to share! Everyone laughs just as hard as I did the first time. Thanks for sharing!


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