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Being Raw with a family

spiritedmamaspiritedmama Raw Newbie

So, now that I am getting very close to 100% raw, I have run into a challenge, and I am hoping others in my position can lend some support and/or advice. I am the only one of my family of four (husband, and two kids) that is trying to be 100% raw. My daughter, who is 3 naturally gravitates to raw (yeah!), so during the week when it is just her and me at home, it is very easy to be raw. But, when it comes to my husband and my 13 year old son, it is a different story. I feel that my husband tries to support me, but misses the bond that we had with cooking together, drinking coffee together etc., as these were a large part of our marriage. He had his feeling really hurt when I ate my raw chili this week and didn’t eat the chili that he had made. Just wondering if anyone has gone through this, or even if you haven’t…does anyone have any words of support.

Thanks, Sunny

Comments

  • ZoeZoe Raw Newbie

    Sounds like he needs some extra special attention, some cuddles and affection and stuff to make up for what he is missing from the old habits you both had.

    That’s what I’d do, I’d give him lots and lots of extra love and treats (not food based!), to move the focus away from the food thing, so it doesn’t become an issue… and to make sure that you share things together, even if it is not foody things.

    As my husband said to me once, ‘a relationship is made up of what two people share together.’ And I guess you have to make sure you replace the old things that have gone with new things, well at least until he goes raw too ;)

  • PamPam

    Sunny,

    I’m just wondering if you liked/appreciated/saw the non-flax cracker recipes I posted for you.

  • spiritedmamaspiritedmama Raw Newbie

    Oh my gosh Pam…Yes, I am so sorry that I forgot to post that I absolutely LOVED them. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

  • PamPam

    That’s great! Those sunflower cheese crackers are TOO good!

    As for the family, that’s a tough one. I live alone, my daughter is grown. So, it’s hard for me to relate. (But, she was surprisingly disappointed in me when I abandoned raw a few years ago!)

    I really feel for you. I know how much those rituals can be part of a relationship. Maybe you could tell him that you realize how big of a change this is for him and ask him to start creating some new rituals with you. Will he help you make raw smoothies or a raw dessert? Could he take charge of making a raw meal once a week? You could pick something together and then “coach” him through it. Have a sense of humor about whether it actually turns out edible. If you explain to him how important this is to you and that you’re not asking him to do it, too, but just support you in it, maybe he’ll come a bit closer.

    Good luck!

    Pam

  • Sunny,

    Good for you first of all!

    My husband is already 100% raw, but I can relate to you, because when I went veg 4.5 years ago, he was VERY against it. He continued to eat meat but I made him cook it. Eventually, he went veg too, and now, as I said, is raw.

    HEre are some suggestions. Make some raw/cooked food mixes to possibly transition your family. For example, to start us out, I would cook a homemade pizza crust. Then I would top it with a raw pizza sauce and tons of veggies. My hubby and kids LOVED it! I began looking for creative ways to combine raw foods with cooked foods, and then slowly began cutting out the cooked foods. This helped all of us transition our taste buds too.

    You can make NEW bonding times!!! Now, my hubby and I get up and make and drink green smoothies together every morning. IT’s our ritual and has fully replaced our coffee habit. We’ve also began doing yoga together in the evenings. These kind of rituals bring us life in huge ways, making us grow closer together while helping our bodies to become healthier and stronger at the same time.

    Understand him too – I realized back at my veg stage that a person kind of has to MOURN the loss of their old eating habits. We are VERY set in our ways when it comes to food. Maybe your hubby just needs some time of mourning, to “break-up” with cooked food.

    Hope that helps! Hang in there.

    Skye

  • This is a great Forum Topic that hits home with me.. My husband still tempts me with coffe in the morning and we used to eat out together. Its hard to find something to connect on when these changes happen. After I decided to be raw with or without him, he threw down the gauntlet with a weightloss challenge, he was going to do South Beach and I was going to do Raw and whoever loses the most inches by June 1st gets 200 dollars. After one week I lost 4 inches and he lost one. So he says, “Its not to late to go raw”! He used to pack his own lunch for work but now that he is going raw I pack it for him and its a nice way for me to show him how much I care by making special recipes I think he will like!

    As far as the kids go I am at a loss…In fact if anyone has some recipes or other tips to share that my 3 and 4 year old would like I would really appreciate it. The kids are well kids and finicky! Any help would be great…I like the pizza Idea and will try that soon… My kids do like fruit of course and nuts also… Thanks again!

  • kandacekandace Raw Newbie

    Hi ambikalee: There are a bunch of kid-friendly recipes in the kids category. We’d love to see more posted!

  • spiritedmamaspiritedmama Raw Newbie

    Thanks for all your suggestions! I have started to make my husband green smoothies that we share, and the other night he ate the raw taco meat and veggies on a regular tortilla, so that was a nice compromise. He said it was really good too! I think I might try and throw a little “party” and have him help me with all the food…of course it will be all raw. I will keep you posted.

  • I have a 14 year old son who is not raw. I am just thankful he is a good kid and that we still see eye to eye. I would never want to complicate his life at this point. He knows how I eat and he would change for me if I asked him to but i know it would separate us because he doesn’t want raw food now by his own choice. maybe if he were under ten I would have more headroom. That’s just my family. I just love them.

  • LucyLucy Raw Newbie

    My husband isn’t raw,but I make him green juices,pates,and a lot of salads. Every day he asks about the salads,and yesterday night he said that he was craving a big glass of juice. I believe that he will be raw soon.

  • ZoeZoe Raw Newbie

    Jedisunrise, goodness, you have a 14 year old son?! You definatley and totally don’t look old enough!He’ll probably go raw as soon as he starts looking older than you;)

  • SpiritedMama..I too am 100% and my family is not. We all were raw at the beginning of the year and now I am the only one who is raw. It doesn’t bother me to cook for them, but when they decided not to be raw I stated, you will need to cook for yourselves. As I stated before it doesn’t bother me to cook food, although some smells are starting to bother me now. But they have been really good about having smoothies with me for breakfast. They are trying to eat as much of their cooked food when I am not home, something they decided on, not a mandate from me.

    I dehydrate marinated salmon and my family LOVES this. They eat more of it than I do. We try really hard to stay connected even though we all eat differently. Last night we had a family picnic in the living room. We had jerky and veggies with fruit juice. I told my family if they wanted to eat cooked food they could, but they are really trying to support me in as many ways as they can.

    Talk to your family. They may enjoy the cooking for themselves. This could be a good way for your husband and son to bond more. You said your husband missed the cooking together. Why not have him cook and you make the raw dishes such as salad and side dishes?

  • OMG, Diddiz, my BF said that he would be raw with me as long as he could still have salmon. I would love to know how you dehydrate your salmon. To be honest I never thought of fish jerky. Can you still dehydrate at low temps to maintain the enzymes?

  • From the research I’ve done, as long as you do not dehydrate over 105 degrees it does not kill the enzymes. I don’t know if the marinade is 100% raw but I eat so little of it that i’m not terribly concerned about it if it’s not. My family eats the most of this.

    2/3 cup of soy sauce 2/3 cup Worcestershire sauce 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon onion powder

    I add 1-2 teaspoons of pepper for some kick

    I use a large salmon filet (probably 3-4 lbs). I slice it thin. I have found that a large serrated bread knife works great for this. I just bought a new dehydrator and it will do an entire 4 lbs filet in 1.5 days at 105 degrees. My older dehydrator takes 3 days. Dehydrate until its to the texture you like. I like mine a bit chewy but dry. The last batch I made was brittle. I got it too dry.

  • Thank you very much, he is very excited and will be trying it tomorrow—his exact word was “YUM”.

  • spiritedmamaspiritedmama Raw Newbie

    diddiz, thanks for the support. My husband actually made the decision about 1-2 weeks ago to go mostly raw and bring the rest of our family along with him. It is a blessing for me to know that my family will be as healthy as I am. My husband did most of this week raw, and we will start with my older son when he gets back home from a visit to his Nana’s. My daughter is mostly raw already. So, wish us luck as we attempt this shift with a 13 year old boy who has been spoiled by his Nana’s very non-raw cooking for the last 2 weeks!

  • NagevNagev Raw Newbie

    diddiz,

    What made you decide to include meat in your diet? Are there any body else here that eats raw meat?

    JAmes

  • I occassionally eat sushi grade raw fish. I also have found raw milk to be extremely beneficial and consider it to be a living food.

  • I don’t eat raw meat. I dehydrate mine. As long as it’s cooked under 105 degrees it doesn’t kill the enzymes. I decided to do this because I am having a HARD time getting good protein. I have low blood sugar issues and I don’t digest nuts well and when I work out I really need the protein. Since going raw my appetite has dwindled to almost nothing. So in just a few bites I can get my protein for the day in.

  • Nagev,

    I eat raw salmon. I don’t believe you need to be vegan to enjoy the raw lifestyle. I do respect the vegan stance on this board so I don’t post my recipes here. Although I can’t wait to try the dehydrated salmon!

  • rawmamarawmama Raw Newbie

    spiritedmama! What cool news…what a difference from April 2 :) The green smoothies must have really helped change his taste buds! My husband is very supportive, loves fresh foods, but we both have the problem with not having things prepared ahead of time so when we are in a rush, he tends to fall back into cooking something quickly for supper…BUT we are hopeful that this will change 100%. I’m finding as long as we have a huge salad already made (big bag of greens already washed), and at least 1 raw food side salad that is not a greeny leafy salad (like a broccoli salad or wheatberry sprouted salad with beans), we do ok sticking to the plan :) What is your favorite green smoothie recipe that you make together? So far our 6 year old is doing great, likes avocados straight, in fact most things in their natural state, which I need to learn from that and not make it a “tough” thing…simplify ;) She loves making things with the spirooli :) Does your son like fruit salads or mainly vegetables when you can convince him to eat fresh/raw?

    skyespice, the pizza is a great idea, I am going to try that this week :)

  • spiritedmamaspiritedmama Raw Newbie

    Hi rawmama! I guess you are right that the green smoothies must have helped. Also, he got really frustrated that we were all eating different things, at least that is what he said. But, I believe that the biggest impact was that I appealed to his love of simplicity, desire to be a purist (we are already minimalists), and finally his scientific mind, and strong desire to “stick it to the man”...LOL!

    We are trying to compromise on a a few things that he is not quite ready to give up yet: potato chips, and coffee. Also, to encourage my son, for the time being we have told him that we will eat out one time per week and he can choose whatever he wants to eat. I feel that I really have to tread lightly right now, as I am trying to transition hard core burger and fries, etc. meat eaters into a raw vegan lifestyle. I appreciate that this is going to be a rough journey for them, and we will need to take it one step/one day at a time.

    So far, my husband has said that his favorite smoothie is spinach/kale, pineapple, and strawberry. Yesterday I got positive reviews for a spinach, kiwi, grape, banana smoothie.

    My 3 year old daughter is my biggest teacher as she will always choose raw over cooked food. In fact she is a great teacher of intuitive eating as well. Some days she eats all day, somedays hardly at all. She will go and get herself whatever fresh fruit or nuts she wants and happily munch away. The funny thing is that sometimes when we go out to eat, she is adamant about getting some greasy item off the kids menu and then leaves it on her plate, never touching it. Instead she helps me eat my raw salad…LOL!

    Yesterday was my son’s first day home from a trip to his nana’s and his first day “mostly” raw. He had a green smoothie for breakfast/lunch (he slept in until almost noon, such as it is with teenage boys), a bowl of non-raw cereal for a snack, and a raw taco for dinner with some cherries. I made raw chocolate cupcakes for dessert (see recipe I will add after this) but I am not sure if he had one. My husband LOVED them!

    As far as my son preferring fruits/veggies, that is a hard one. I have always felt strongly that he has been having a bad reaction to cooked starches for most of his life. He mainly sticked to them for his diet (cereals, rice, potatoes, tortillas, bread, corn, etc.) He was misdiagnosed with ADHD at a fairly young age. Misdiagnosed I feel because he has no symptoms of concentration issues or hyperactivity. It is more like the info. just doesn’t get in properly due to an auditory processing difficulty. I am a pediatric occupatioanl therapist and I have worked with kids just like him for most of his life. I strongly feel that his difficulty is from a sensory processing disorder. So, we have been implementing dietary changes since the age of 5 years old with great success up until about 1-2 years ago when he started into that pre-puberty stage. When his hormones started changing, so did his diet and behavior. This was also around the time that we got our new addition to our family, our daughter. So, admittedly I let things slide as I was now trying to take care of 2 children instead of just one. But, my husband and I both think that going raw is the best thing for my son at this time. He may not choose a raw lifestyle when he is an adult, but at least he will have the knowledge of how beneficial it is for him when he is on a raw diet.

    O.k., that got a little long and rambling, sorry!

  • rawmamarawmama Raw Newbie

    You sound like you are doing a terrific job with your family :) Did you ever read RAW KIDS? It mentions that the woman’s son was having different problems with learning, ADD or ADHD (sorry, my book is not near by), etc. and it was all due to cooked grains. Once they got him off of any cooked grains, he TOTALLY changed, his teachers were blown away, and where he once was risking failing a grade of school, he boomed and passed no problems. It did not take long at all to see the difference, I mean less than a month. I believe she said in the first week they noticed changes. Pretty cool book!

    My husband just took me to Luna Pastel, raw cafe, for our anniversary for a private dinner/class…it was delicious and soooooooo fun! When we got home and told everyone, our daughter was so excited at the idea that she wants us to take her there for dinner. It’s in the Harrisburg Market Place, and they do have a day menu, so we’ll probably take her there and let her try whatever she wants. It really inspired me to continue trying new things, and the different flavors, made by somebody other than myself, was a true treat! The weird thing is they are beside standard Farmer’s Market type food stands (chicken, Indian, Pennsylvania Dutch type foods), but their food is so darn fresh and flavorful! People really should try to go outside of their SAD bubble and sample new things :)

    It took us a long time before our 6 year old daughter started liking salads, now she asks for them. I found that it was best if I sliced the lettuce into thin strips and everything small, bite-sized pieces. She totally loves avocados, and fruit, but changes her tastes from week to week. Texture is more important than taste sometimes with her. I’m finding that it’s easier to simplify with her than make new dishes, so I’m making new raw dishes for my husband and I, and simple dishes for her. I do sometimes include cooked whole grains for her or brown/wild rices, but always have lots of veggies and fruits around. Sometimes she’ll dig into our dishes, sometimes not. I have to laugh though, made eggless eggsalad, did not tell her it was eggless because she said she wanted eggs in it. I said ok…so I diced up mushrooms to mimic egg whites. She said it still didn’t taste like eggs, add more eggs Mom. Ok…so I diced up avocado to mimic egg yolk…she ate and ate and ate, said it was the best eggsalad ever. I couldn’t decide whether to say, “there are no eggs in there” or not, but decided to not say one way or another for now. I believe it was Paul Nison that said something along these lines… “the best way to get your family to eat raw food is to make GOOD, TASTY raw food, put it on the table, and NOT tell them it’s raw or good for them. Just put it on the table. If it’s delicious they’ll eat it, if you tell them it’s good for them and it’s raw, they won’t.” LOL! Looking forward to trying your raw chocolate cupcakes. :)

  • spiritedmamaspiritedmama Raw Newbie

    rawmama, I did read the most recent version of Raw Kids last week. It was nice for me to review what I already new, as I have been helping the families that I work with do this for their children in one degree or another for many years. Don’t know why it took me so long to realize that you didn’t need to have autism or sensory disorders to benefit from a raw food lifestyle…LOL!

    Tonight I made raw cream of tomato soup and a salad with raw ceasar dressing. My son LOVED it, and actually asked for more! Thankfully, we accustomed him to eating salads since he was about 6 or so, so he just needed to adjust to the raw ceasar dressing I made, which he loved.

    So funny about your daughter and the eggless egg salad! Oh, and thanks for reminding me to post the raw cupcakes, I will do it right now!

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