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how do you deal?

how do you deal with people when i say really stupid things? i have a hard time with this? not with some of the stupid questions.. getting enough protien? calcium? iron? etc.. cuz i know i asked them too.. people genuinely dont know.. i understand that.. people only know what is told to them, only know what is “displayed” to them on commercials, billboards etc.. but it really makes me angry sometimes.. any advice? i was talking to my grandma (God bless her) and she knows im vegan.. well i was telling her that this girl that was coming over to my house to hang out was a raw foodist.. and briefly explained what that was.. now, she thinks im CRAZY cuz i dont eat meat, dairy or eggs.. makes fun of me ALL the time.. which drives me CRAAAAZZZYY… but then after i finished my sentence she said.. “oh my gosh, it gets worse?” AAAAHHHAHHAHHAHH!!!! WORSE!!??? no grandma, IT GETS BETTER!! and she laughs.. as if everything i say is just some silly little unimportant thing.. and i get that from several people that are family… if they were total strangers or just people i knew i could brush it off alittle easier.. but these are people who love me.. and who i love.. and i just dont feel significant to these people.. “silly little girl”... who is grown, graduated from college, served in the united states army, and has been married for 5 years.. cant i have some validity?


  • omshantiomshanti Raw Newbie

    loves kale, you are always gonna be their little girl( grins sadly), when you are 80 your ideas will still be novel and “cute” and a phase k? It just is… maddening now, but i think its kinda sweet as you get older.. i think your come back to granny was great!” it gets better” fabulous! ;) while it is frusterating I know, meet everyone with humor about yourself and you will see how quickly they go from pushing your buttons to just joshin’ or you could move to Cali. Thats the pat answer for all my family now “oh her? she’s the “california” relative” hahahahahaha i feel your pain…deep breath and smile whilst munching sprouts and a carrot!

  • RawsikiRawsiki Raw Newbie

    Sigh…yep, I get that all the time. In fact, I am no longer friends with a group of people because they started treating me differently once they found out about my vegan diet. It is so ridiculous…they are so shallow that they’ve allowed my food choices to affect our friendship. They started treating me really differently, being annoyed with me whenever I brought up anything that had even the slightest thing to do with food, and when I would say how I am excited about having a potluck over the summer, they would make insensitive comments like, “What are you going to eat, carrots?” And just stupid, immature things like that. This diet will show you who your true friends are.

  • pianissimapianissima Raw Newbie

    people stopped asking me as i got more comfortable with it. i think because i was so sensitive to how i thought others would react i attracted interest where otherwise people would have been more focused on themselves… life is like middle school, no?

    but i had an idea (since it’s ALWAYS the same questions) to make a cute wallet-sized factsheet that outlines why (take it to kinko’s and carry them around in your purse of pocket…

    just say, “i get this a lot, so i made this. this should answer all your questions.” 1) PROTEIN we get too much protein in our society, but that raw greens and seeds are richer anyway because they aren’t damaged by heat 2) NUTRIENTS comparative analysis of meat and dairy to greens, nuts and seeds in terms of calcium and iron. 3) ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT the U.N. found that the production of livestock creates more greenhouse gases than ALL of transport combined.

    it’ll show in one fell swoop that not only are you getting what you need, but also that you have fully researched this and come to an educated decision. a lot of people will assume you are following some new trend, endangering your health… so their concern is valid from that POV.

  • pianissimapianissima Raw Newbie

    p.s. or laminate one and ask for it back =)

  • Luna bluLuna blu Raw Newbie

    Well first off, your grandma is of a different time. They were brainwashed into thinking the only way to be healthy is to eat meat, eggs and dairy.(by the meat egg and dairy producers!) Nobody around her in her youth wwere vegitarian, let alone vegan! I am not sure how old your granny is but the only people who were veg were probalby hippies and straight laced folks back then did NOT like hippies!

    Paretns and family are usually concerned for your health and well being. If you are doing vegan and raw correctly, and feel and look fantastic, that should be proof enough of your validity.

    If you are savvy in the kitchen, make some amazing raw alternatives for them to try. My mother in law is a 62 year old woman from the Ukraine, and one of her favorite things I make is my raw choco. cinnamon rolls. She loves them. I have made a few finger food type things for her to try, and i think she sees that this is a viable way of eating. (she won’t be converting anytime soon though)

    just explain to them you just feel better eating this way. Tell them animal products just drag your system down, and you never felt better in your life than when you eat raw! Well if that is the case! Also point out to them the fact that you don’t make fun of what they eat or shove PETA magazines in their face while they are eating their ‘roadkill’ and ask the them to kindly repay the courtesy.

    On the fact of being a grown woman, I am 39, been with the same man for 10 years, two of which we have been married, am a health professional, but I will always be my folks little girl. For me, I understand and am fond of that fact, (except that i want to get my nose peirced, but my father would kill me! ;)

    So now that i have babbled on, the point is: how do you feel physically , how do you look? Are you beaming with radiaent health? If so, tell them to worry about themselves and stop making fun of you! Perhaps easier said than done!:)


  • ahh me too…I live across the country from my meat-loving irish/german descended family, thank goodness. I’ve been gradually introducing the idea to my mom (i.e. I’m following this new philosophy of how cooking food destroys enzymes etc in a final attempt to cure all my random health issues). yesterday she was like, what about protein? she said her friend’s son went vegetarian and had problems because he wasn’t getting enough protein! That is clearly wrong…I told her he probably lacked B12 or was still eating crap because we don’t need meat/dairy to get protein. I have yet to actually say the word vegan to her though haha, it’s just implied. at least she hasn’t been critical but I can’t wait till the next family holiday I’m home for, that will be interesting!

    also, people are probably critical of it because they don’t see it as “normal” or familiar and most people think their way is the best way and everyone should do like them.

  • FeeFee Raw Master

    It is strange, that despite having researched the raw foods ‘diet’ and knowing how good it is for us I still felt under pressure to justify my eating when I went to the hospital last week and I was seeing the Gynaecologist!!!

    I think if you can find some witty replies to come back at them with it might make you feel more confident and more able to deal with the questioning.

    If only everyone knew what we knew!

  • lzhptlzhpt Raw Newbie

    loveskale, in the beginning for me I was a closet raw foodist—my husband and children were used to me using my body as a vessel for experimentation so this was not surprising. It was hard being a PT not to share what i was discovering with patients, but after 2 weeks they all began asking me what i was doing—personality changes, glowing happimess. I noticed others were really attracted to my energy and I also noticed that certain toxic people wanted to take my energy. I became much more tuned-in to the toxic personalities in my life. It took a while for my friends to extend dinner invitations..now I always bring food I can have and I share. We’ve laso found a restaurant where I can get a great arugula salad.

  • It is difficult when people can’t take you seriously but I think you have to just let it go and ignore them. When my boss at work sees me drinking a green smoothie he says – there she is drinking that swamp water again. I get oh so tired of trying to defend my diet. Eating is just such a personal thing. Everyone has to eat what they think is the best thing for their body. It’s just that so many people don’t think about it at all and don’t want to think about it and definitely don’t want to be challenged about it.

  • I work at the Media Center on my campus. I work with a lot of other students and our supervisor, a wonderful lady named Barbara. I need not explain their perception of diet in more than one sentence, they have a microwave IN the media center…oy, daily the putrid aroma of hot pockets, lean cuisines, and processed maple syrup flavored oatmeal wafts up and fills my nose as I spend time reading raw food forums.

    Soooo one day this semester, after going 100% raw Barbara asked me about my diet because she asked one day if I wanted some meatballs she had made for everyone. I declined and she grew curious. She asked what I DID eat and so I told her I ate a raw vegan diet. There was a pause, a slight raising of her head and a definitively that-is-the-strangest-thing-I-have-ever-heard ‘Ohhhhh’

    since then several students have commented or asked about my diet saying that I don’t eat real food and they would rather eat pizza and hamburgers. I always respond with a smile and a great attitude, because I LOVE TALKING ABOUT RAW FOOD! One girl in particular is wed to her microwaved Lean Cuisine meals and whenever I see her I make a point to ask if she is having The Best Day Ever!?

    My positivity and energy finally prevailed and no more am I asked questions, and no more am I ridiculed. A tablespoon of my colorfully uncooked condition cured this case of Cooked Food Queries.

  • pianissimapianissima Raw Newbie

    monsieurreality—that made me chuckle. i think if someone asked me if i was HAVING THE BEST DAY EVER i would have one those days where i would just start laughing to myself at random moments… then people would REALLY question my diet. ;) keep up the good attitude!

  • amysueamysue Raw Newbie

    I’ve decided that the less I do that’s mainstream, the less people bother me, because it’s become the norm. So with lifestyle choices, parenting choices, people have given up trying to change me. Once you’ve gone vegetarian, attachment parenting (co-sleeping, breastfeeding), homeschooling and now raw and possibly Buddhist…the questions pretty much end.

    Loveskale – I had a similar problem with a family member early on when I was just vegetarian and attachment parenting and I think the fact that I’m very healthy, happy and have a healthy and happy daughter has finally made this person realize that maybe there’s something in my weirdness.

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