family...supportive but misguided a little

bittbitt Raw Newbie

I am debating what to do with my family. They have been really supportive over my diet changes, especially my gluten intolerance. For the past several years we have either found vegetarian places to eat at or Asian places. They are trying so hard to accommodate me. But when I go visit them in a few weeks, I want to try to be as raw as I can. But my Dad is already saying “we can go to this Asian restaurant” and I just don’t want to break his heart telling him it’s not going to work. It’s like they are trying so hard to accommodate me but now they are going to have to adjust again.

But I do know they want me to be healthy and happy and this diet has really been helping me do that. I guess I have my own advice and just be honest. I just don’t know how to break the news that I have yet another restriction they have to deal with. And with other restrictions it was harder for me to have the food around—like with wheat, I am so allergic that bread around can make me sick, and with veganism I simply get grossed out when people eat meat. It’s not like that with raw. It’s for my health.

Has anyone been through anything similar? It’s not that I think they are going to try and make me eat cooked, it’s just that they think they have me figured out and well, I changed.


  • waterbaby12347waterbaby12347 Raw Newbie

    Bitt~ Surprise them with the suggestion that you will be happy to go to their restaurant of choice… Then tell the waiter, your are a raw vegan and would he/she be able to make you a beautiful salad… This is what I do when I have a date and you would be surprised at the big, beautifully colorful salads that have been placed before me… My dates have been impressed with my choice and the waiters compliance… Just don’t make it a problem and you and your family with have a wonderful visit!!! Have a safe trip!!! GRIN

  • bittbitt Raw Newbie

    do you think an asian place would make a salad? i have no idea if they would.

  • BluedolfinBluedolfin Raw Newbie

    Sure bitt~ If their menu includes beef w/ broccoli, they have broccoli. They would have all sorts of shredded veggies (carrots, lettuce) and sprouts. Most Asian menus are chalked full of veggie oriented options and use meat as a seasoning, not “the” course. It is American menus that are meat oriented. lol You can also call ahead of time and arrange something if that is possible. Bring your own dressing if you don’t use vinegar and other ingredients that are common in Asian food. So doable! What is their preferred Asian cuisine? Knowing that we can give more ideas. I so agree with if you don’t make a big deal the family will be fine.

  • beanybeeganbeanybeegan Raw Newbie

    You also mentioned vegetarian restaurants. This type of restaurant would know more about raw vegan eating. By now they may even have a couple raw items on the menu.

  • bittbitt Raw Newbie

    the main thing is my family hates waiting to eat. so I want to have it planned out before I go. I tried eating at a veggie place when we were in NYC and it had cooked veggies in it! they tasted gross. the problem i run into is that they get so hungry, want to eat at the first place they are at, even though it might not have anything I can have in it.

  • BluedolfinBluedolfin Raw Newbie

    You can bring some veggies or fruit with you. Have some veggies prepped in the fridge. Grab a few handfuls and stash in a container or plastic bag. If you get to a restaurant where you can’t find anything to eat, voila, ask for a plate and dump your veggies on it. If a salad comes to you a bit lacking… add some of your stuff to enhance it… and if you get something that doesn’t taste great or is not to your liking (what would say to one of your family members if they got a dish they didn’t like???), chalk it up to a not so great meal but a time to connect with the family. Which is more important to you… the food or the company? Remember to breath, you have lots of reserves that will hold you over until you get home… even for a few days of not eating if you are anything like me… :)

  • Bitt, I am having this problem a few times a week. :) Not with my family, but with other folks. Since I write for the local paper, I often meet interview subjects “for lunch” or “for tea.” I didn’t know how to handle it. In this New Mexican cowboy town, beef is king. The few vegetarians (and I ain’t even talkin’ vegans, let alone raw foodists!) are ridiculed. My best friends in town are heavy meat eaters. So a couple of weeks ago I came up with a good approach:

    “I’m going through a health cleanse right now, and am eating only raw foods.”

    It seems to be working. What can anyone say? And it’s true – they just don’t know that it will extend… forever! I don’t care if they make fun of me a little, and if they express concern that I’m not getting ‘enough’ protein, etc, I just repeat:

    “Oh gosh, you are SO sweet to worry about me! But I’m okay. I’m going through a health cleanse right now, and am eating only raw foods. Now, let’s enjoy our lunch!”

    I wouldn’t get into it with your family ahead of time. Just smile, stuff your purse with fruit and cut veggies and a little container of dip, perhaps. When your folks start to give you a hard time, just smile and say with positive energy:

    “Hey, we’re all together and we’re here to have a great time! I’m so lucky to have you all in my life. I’m just doing a little health regimen at the moment. I even came prepared – isn’t that fun? Now, let’s enjoy our meal.”

    I don’t know if this will help, but it’s what I’ve been doing, and it seems to be working. It also makes me feel proactive and positive, which really helps me stick to 100 percent raw.

  • bittbitt Raw Newbie

    Ok, yeah that’s the approach I used at work. And I do use. Somehow it is easier with strangers than family, if you know what I mean. I have a cute little lunch box I will for sure have with me, I guess it is just a matter of bringing that along more often. I thought about ordering some specialty items and sending them to my parents house for when I get there. That way I would be more excited about going and eating there.

    Luckily my parents do eat really healthy, they are not vegetarian but eat a lot of raw for SAD folks. About 50%. It’s my brother-in-law who would probably pick on me. He’s the bacon-lover in the family.

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