so the main reason i went raw was to quit binging and purging. i’ve had eating disorders for years, and the bulimia was getting way too intense. i switched to all raw foods a little over a month ago and it worked SO WELL. suddenly i was at peace with food, i was happy, healthier than i’ve ever been. etc. things were great. the last week was very stressful for me – i’m getting kicked out of my apartment in ten days and dont know where i’ll end up, one of my best friends tried to kill himself, i’m in a complicated relationship i think is sort of doomed.. etc. i think it was the stress that started messing with me. suddenly i started obsessing more about my body and weight, hating myself more. the past month i was so much more accepting of myself, and suddenly it was going away. sunday afternoon i was at work and when i went on my lunch break i just snapped – binged and purged at work. this continued all night after work and all yesterday. i’ve stopped today and put myself back on strict raw foods, but i feel like shit and i’m pretty depressed about it. i really thought i had kicked it. i know it’s kind of naive to think you can banish a longstanding bad habit that easily, but i didnt expect it to come back so quickly, without warning, and so intense. i probably spent 200 dollars on food, none of which i digested. :( i guess i just needed to vent. i’m frustrated that i did this. not only was the whole thing disgusting, wasteful, and destructive, but i feel guilty over buying all the corporate crap i ate. ugh. sorry to be a downer today. i’m glad i have this place though – time to make a salad.