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Parent non-supportive

Hi all :) My name’s Dawn and I’m 20 years old. Currently I’m a full time student living at home. I’ve known about the raw food diet for many years now but never really moved forward with it until recently. I’ve been vegetarian since age 11, turned vegan at age 19. In the last couple of months my boyfriend has become 100% raw. He went from vegetarian to raw overnight practically. Lately, I’ve been eating mostly 100% with an occasional sweet potato to help me with the detox symptoms. I spend a lot of time at my boyfriend’s apartment but I still come to my mom’s house nearly everyday. Today when I came home to my mom’s house, I went into the kitchen to make a spinach-orange-avocado smoothie. My mom was sitting at the table with her friend eating crackers and cheese. My mom’s a pescetarian and usually a pretty cool parent overall. But today, today what she did was uncalled for. First off she was trying to talk to me while I was using the blender and I told her that I’m trying to make food and we could talk afterwards. She said “that’s not food.” I was surprised she would even say something like that. Her herself supports a CSA and has a vegetable garden. Her and her friend then proceeded asking me what I had today as protein. They also told me I looked like I was “wasting away.” I guess it just really hurts that my mom doesn’t support me and my choices. She refuses to try most of my raw food dishes with the exception of salads and green juices. I suppose that’s a start. Just now, I wrote her an email asking her what she is worried about, if she thinks that I can only get certain things from cooked foods? I know there was a recent post about being raw with a family but I feel like my situation is a little bit different. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for everything.

Comments

  • writeeternitywriteeternity Raw Newbie

    Hi Coconut dream. I think the best response is education. Show her information about nutrition and other people the diet has helped. Of course nuts have protein and show her what they are in that you are eating. My grandfather survived on a low protein diet for many years because he had kidney problems and I have read that we don’t need all of the protein recommended and that too much can cause kidney disease, stones, etc.

    Also look at the 800 million Indians who don’t eat meat. Their population is far from dying off!

    Get some info on sea vegetables that contain b12 and protein- it’s amazing. Also quinoa is a great source.

    good luck!

  • just stick it out, my whole entire family thought i was completely nuts just going veg. after some time they finally relaxed and, accepted me agian :)

  • queenfluffqueenfluff Raw Newbie

    My parents were never supportive of my choices either. I don’t have to deal with it on a regular basis like you do though.

    Now, that they are older and are having all sorts of health problems from eating crappy diets their whole lives – I find that I am the one who is giving health advice. My mom just had a knee replacement for arthitis and I giving her advice about taking some MSM for her scar tissue!

    You will encounter resisitence to the raw diet from so many places. People are so afraid NOT to believe their doctors advice and what is on TV telling them what is healthy for them. One day they will realize – unfortunatley for many it is at the point of no return, and they will start looking to you and you can tell them about the raw diet. For right now, all you can do is make the choices that are right for you and if other people don’t like them, well that is too bad. (maybe you should point out to your mom all the bad things that in the chesse and crackers?)

  • MarichiesaMarichiesa Raw Newbie

    Hi there,

    I feel for you.Its not always easy going against the grain is it? I’m guessing even with your mom being as knowledgeable about proper food as she is she must feel threatened that you are going a step further.

    Parents often want to be the experts and its hard for them to learn to accept being taught by their kids. I’m 39 now with 3 kids of my own and I’ve been in your shoes and probably will find myself on the other side of the fence one day soon! ( LOL)

    In any event, as long as you continue to feel good about your choices just lead by example. She’ll come around. You can only change your behavior not hers. BTW my whole family thinks I am pleasantly nuts. And my youngest (6) who abhors fruits actually tried my banana ice cream today and liked it!! And she has been watching me for months and making faces! :-) Hang in there and feel confident about yourself no matter what you think others think.

  • With the two extremem diets (in the general publics eyes) vegans have been the ones that are usually told they arent getting enough protein.(I was getting about 150-200 grams a day, ha!)

    So when I went raw I was completely paranoid of the protein factor and being a weight lifter / martial artist. Until I read about raw weightlifters.

    www.thegardendiet.com www.charliesgym.info

    The first one is about a whole raw family, and he made me realize that plant food has a higher percentage of protein than cooked food.

    And Charlie recognizes that everyone saying you must have mass amount of protein is wrong. He says that as long as you are getting enough calories in the raw diet (with the right balanced diet) proteins come along with. Exactly as much as you need, whether your a weight lifter or not.

    I agree with the above though,if they are truly that worried about your food/protein intake. Show them how much protein is in all the various nuts and some fruits out there (most of my protein comes from bananas.

  • My mom (a health-nut like me) was weirded out when I first went raw too, a few years back. Even though she was vegetarian at the time, for both health and moral reasons. After she did some research on it, and after she saw how HEALTHY I looked, she actually took up raw herself, and now she’s way better than I am with recipes and food prep!

    Especially if your mom is into health, I think you just need to encourage her to do some research into raw, and let her see how healthy and energetic you become… if you have any books on raw foods/nutrition, try giving them to her to read. If it was me, I wouldn’t even try to explain anything to her, because she might see it as arguing… just show her how happy you are this way, and give her the opportunity to find out about it on her own.

    And hey, worst case scenario, she doesn’t end up approving of your choice. It hurts when a family member does that, no matter what their intentions are, but it happens! I found out for myself the hard way, when my Grandma practically disowned me for deciding to have a child out of wedlock. Your mom may bug you about something you do that she doesn’t approve of, but that’s what family does, and in the end your life is yours! Lots and lots of luck!!!

  • omshantiomshanti Raw Newbie

    Being new to this myself and a 39 year old woman,I gotta say everyone who hears about my adventure in raw is resistent! I wasnt worried to much about protein as i eat a ton of greens, i’d graze with my horses if i could! ;) The thing I tell my horsey friends who are constantly discussing their horses diets, is not all proteins are alike. Just like in horse hay there is digestible protein and non digestible protien. Meat may be chock full of it but if our bodies cant utilize efficently it then why do we think thats the best way to get it? cracks me up! even my veggie friends, curl a suspicious lip at my raw ways…they like their fake chicken tenders and their soy cheese. Its all about what feels right to you. If you are eating a balanced raw diet then you go girl and forgive others judgements. Its perfectly natural for people to fear change. realize how brave and open you are! cheers!

  • spiritedmamaspiritedmama Raw Newbie

    This discussion reminds me of something someone posted on another string on this site:

    It’s easier to change a person’s religion that to change the food they eat.

    (or something to that effect)

    You just have to do what is right for you, and hope that they come around. It is very hard. I always look at it as a lesson in patience.

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