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MOTH
Raw Newbie
Hey guys,
I had a pretty surreal experience tonight. I “released” pain and anger and spent time breathing through it, allowing it to be, instead of resisting the release and clenching onto my suffering and hurt.
It was horrible for awhile as it passed through me, but when it was gone: it was GONE! I feel so fresh and light inside now.
This was such an interesting experience. I have never dealt well with anger or hurt my entire life. I’m a very volatile person at moments; I never developed proper coping skills when I was younger and I am still recovering emotionally from over a decade of severe self-injury. I feel like I finally have figured out the key to handling it when crazy emotions/thoughts pop up for me.
I’m very thankful. I was really dealing with a lot today; a lot of anger for my friend Cory who killed himself with heroin in January, and anger at my ex-husband and even my friends, for no good reason at all. Just angry, and I tried bottling it up inside; but that didn’t work.
Only RELEASING it worked…and breathing and staying calm through the release. And the only way I could release it was to allow myself to be completely still.
It was really nice.
Comments
wow, that sounds intense. It is wonderful to watch yourself grow, and see the positive changes.
I know for me, crying is a wonderful release. Years ago, I went through some really traumatic times, and I found crying, deep and heartfelt sobbing was a way for me to express the deep pain and sadness. Once I experienced it, expressed it, and then it was released.
I can’t hold the anger in – well, if I do, I go and seeth later. It is not healthy to hold it in. Of course, don’t have a tantrum in WF – wait til you get home and punch those pillows to death!
It will definatley feel better to release it. That is what punching bags are for!
I actually bitch to my cats and of course, they are on MY side so that always helps – they are great listener, don’t talk back, don’t tell me what to do and most importantly, don’t tell me I am wrong! :)
I wish I knew how to do this. I have so much hurt and anger that I’ve developed a sort of on/off switch to my emotions to cope with it. I just turn off and sort of ignore it I guess. I don’t want to do that anymore, but I hate just totally loosing my sh*t and not being able to deal.