I had a bit of a headache this morning and knew I was dehydrated. I’m staying w/family right now and my mom was going to Target and asked if I wanted to come. I figured I could get a coconut there for the electrolytes. I doubted they’d have Thai or organic mature, but no one around here does and I wasn’t about to drive an hour to the co-op downtown for one freakin’ coconut.
So I find the tropical fruit section at Target and then the coconuts. The only ones they had were FREAKING BIZARRE! They had a big sticker on them labeling them “Melissa’s Quick Crack Coconuts.” Uh….
Then I notice they have a bizarre shape. They’re shaped kinda like a round loaf of bread, flat on one side, more round than elliptical like a normal coconut, and instead of the eyes being on one end (the short side I guess you could say) they’re on “top” (the long side), opposite the flat “bottom.” I notice the 3 seams coconuts have, still coming out and down from around the eyes. I look like someone had balanced a normal coconut on it’s end and squished it flat. WTF? Then it looked like it had been scored with a knife around the sides.
I was really perturbed by it, I couldn’t figure out what kind of weird growing container placed around it or genetic engineering or what created this thing. But I figured it was better than nothing, for $2, so I brought it home.
I drove a hole through one of the eyes and tipped it over to suck the water out…and nearly spat it right into the sink! It tasted like that fake coconut flavouring and that chemical lemon furniture polish! And it made my tongue and lips feel all weird and fuzzy and cottonmouthy. GROSS!
WHY must this stuff be done to our produce?!