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Staying RAW in the midst of chaos/change...help?


Hey guys, I’m going through some major life changes with lots of stress! I don’t remember the last time I was so wigged out and feeling so tense and depressed/worried. Basically: My divorce is going through! I have to pack up and move out of my current place by the end of the week! I just got a new job; I start tomorrow. I’m just generally kinda freaked at all this change.

I’ve found it hard to be raw, too – I’ve STAYED RAW but only with the help of places like the Organic Garden in Beverly; expensive, but it’s better then going to get a freaking burger or eating at Panera Bread like I’ve been desiring too, out of emotional funkiness!

I’ve stayed raw, but I’m craving all types of nuts/seeds, raw “junkfood.” Fruit just isn’t appetizing at all; neither are veggies! I just feel a little out of control! My body doesn’t love me right now. I don’t love me right now! I feel like nobody else does either!

...it’s just stress…I guess I just wanted some support from you raw people – as I weather this storm.


  • Mon46Mon46 Raw Newbie

    OK, Moth, take a breath. Please remember that a divorce, moving and changing jobs are some of the greatest stressors out there – and you are going through all 3 at once. Don’t make being raw another one! You are actually doing very well; just the fact you haven’t “cheated” is amazing. So what if you need some raw “junk food” for a while? Just know that your cravings will probably abate after this storm. I can totally understand how you feel (in the past had a break up, job change and move all at the same time), but it sounds like you are on track more than you know. You will get through it – and if that means you don’t want fruit right now, so be it. Baby steps…you will get there.

  • EloisaEloisa Raw Newbie

    Hey Moth – Wow, I was in a similar place about three months ago and just got out of it as of a month ago (except I wasn’t going through a divorce). I too lost appeal for ALL raw food. I didn’t want to eat at all – I’m not an emotiona eater, so I can’t eat when depressed/sad/upset. But for some reason Mangos were the only fruit I could and would want to eat. So I lived off of mangos for weeks. That’s all I really ate, if I ate at all. Don’t stress over not wanting to eat any fruits and veggies, or that nothing appeals to you right now, but try and find that one food that makes your body feel good, and just stick to that. Eventually your body will balance out after all your stress is gone and you feel back to normal. Mine just did as of about a month ago. Good Luck! :D

  • I’d say that I’m going through lots of stress too right now. I’m moving out of my parents home to live by myself for the first time. I also have an illness which does sometimes require me to have a little extra help so living alone scares me. But one of the things that keeps me sain is thinking about all the people who do have it worse than me. I once heard of a 13 year old girl who lives in Africa, her parents died of AIDS and she had two little brothers. She had to quit school, get a job, and try to stay strong for her two little brothers all while living on less than a dollar a day. And this is a 13 year old girl I’m talking about. She must have been so scared and alone. I make more than a dollar a day, and I dont have two little brothers to look after, so even as an adult, I look up to her and see her as a hero.

    Yeah things are tough right now. But count your blessings. You are alive, you have a job, a roof over your head, food to eat, clothes on your back and friends and family who love you. Not everyone has all those things. Also, be good to yourself. Our bodies go through a lot. If only we knew the pressure we put on our bodies. Yeah we hear about the damage food and stress does to our bodies, but do we know how hard they have to work to keep us alive living under all these conditions? Your body does not hate you right now like you said. Your heart is still pumping, your muscles are still working, you can still breathe, you can see, hear, touch and taste. If your body was working against you, It would have stopped working in these ways. Thank your body for what it does and what it can do by feeding it what it needs and what it wants to keep functioning (which is usually raw living organic foods, but everyone needs junk food every now and again to get them through just try not to overdo it so much). And do things you like…yoga, reading, knitting, tai chi, or whatever helps you to relieve stress. You are such a good person and you are worth it. Yes things are hard now, but they will get better.

  • Hi Moth! I have to give you credit for being able to stay raw in the midst of all youre going through!! You for sure have more than any of us would ever hope to have on our plates at any time! I also find this time of year oct/nov is when i have my annual fight or flight break down and run away to Vancouver and hang out in the mountains for awhile. It’s a funny time of year with all the changes and sudden lack of vitamin D from the sun.. And stresses are never made easier, I find. It’s also been proven our bodies typically crave fatty foods when theyre stressed! So go nuts on nuts.. why not I say.

    I haven’t been raw nearly as long as you have, and back in September I had some crazy emotional crap I went thru, had surgery and was more sad than I had been in a long time.. I was holed up at my mom’s who feels like spoiling me when I am there.. doesn’t understand my battle with foods.. and she went out and got me a veggie burger from Lick’s (world’s best cooked burger ever.. anywhere). I stopped eating raw for a week or two and spent the next 6 weeks trying to get my system back to feeling normal.. I had a stomach ache for that 6 weeks.. felt way lethargic.. non stop headache. And then I just got even more depressed for letting myself down! I would eat to make myself feel better and blah blah blah..

    Keep your chin up! I think it’s wonderful you’re still raw and it takes so much will power. It speaks piles about how strong you are and I am confident you’ll be able to make it through! Of course I hardly know you, but I see your posts on here all the time and you have such a great spirit about you. I would hate to think that this rough patch in your life could destroy that.. and I don’t thik it will because of how very strong you obviously are. All my love! And best of luck! You have piles of people here cheering you on!

  • Moth,

    I know this must be the craziest of times. I read some time ago that when we are tired our bodies crave junk food. I always try to remember this when I’m all tired and stressed. Kudos for keeping raw. I am convinced it really is the way we are supposed to be. Somehow it makes it a little easier for me to resist cravings by telling myself that is why I am feeling that way. Not to say that it isn’t ok to enjoy a little junk food, though:) What doesn’t break us will make us stronger, so keep on truckin’!!!!!!!!!!

  • MOTHMOTH Raw Newbie

    so much wisdom – thank you all SO MUCH. It really helps to hear about people who have “been there” with these types of changes. And you’re right; I have a lot to be thankful for; just hard to see sometimes. My parents have been asking me to come home to live with them for a few months and give myself a restart, but I’m not sure I want to live with them – it would be a “break from reality” for a bit, but I will give my new job a chance first.

    I just overate nuts and seeds and now I feel horrible. I don’t think I will eat tomorrow.

  • Hi Moth, I don’t know what to say to you about food, but I have been through this (and worse I’m afraid) and know how hard it is. So take care of yourself first of all, and don’t worry too much about food, you will have all the time to think about it after the “chaos”. I wish you all the best in your new life.

  • omshantiomshanti Raw Newbie

    Moth thanks for tis thread im filching some of the advise on here, im not as good as you, bingeing on alcohol and cooked veggies…...blessing your way…this to shall pass…now ill try to take my own advise. hugs…...:0)

  • MOTHMOTH Raw Newbie

    Omshanti- I didn’t mention it in my initial post but I have overindulged on vegan (raw?) organic wine several times this week, as well as poked the smot (smoked pot). It seems like I am reaching out for any way to numb and distract myself or something – feels very scary – the fact that I haven’t gone to stuff my face with a cooked pizza or deep-fried-anything is my only bit of grace right now. Things would be very very bad for me if I did that.

    Papaya – that’s a good point – I will have time to think later. Good thing, because I really feel like I can’t trust my own thoughts/feelings right now.

    For someone who is intuitive – that kinda sucks.

    This too shall pass…I will remember this and try to be gentle with myself. It’s not easy…my sense of self-worth is VERY low right now. :-( I’m feeling like I’m the scum of the Earth – as silly as that sounds.

    Thank goodness for my friends – online and offline – to put up with me .

  • OMG, Moth, your sense of self-worth needs to be taken in to the shop ‘cause its meter is broken, my sister. You are kicking so much ass, doing better than most of us under the best of circumstances. Love yourself, darlin’. You deserve it, even when you stumble – and a little wine, smot, and some raw treat cravings are far, far, far from stumbling, in my book. Do what makes things tolerable, do what you can live with, and know you’ll be all the stronger on the other side.

    Sending you lots of love.

  • zinfandelzinfandel Raw Newbie

    Hello Dearest! You are going to be fine. Great. Better than dandy. Let me give you a picture: One desires to make a clay pot. One takes the clay from the ground in it’s most basic form. One puts the clay under pressure, shapes it and then bakes it in the heat. What comes out is a beautiful, functional pot. So it is with our lives.

    The rewards of life do not come at the beginning.

    It’s like fasting or any detoxing (removing of toxins). One doesn’t feel great. One even forgets what it’s like to feel great. That doesn’t mean that feeling great isn’t right around the corner.

    One door closes and others open.

    And here’s another great one: Do what you like, but like what you do.

    Embrace the discomfort and you’ll make it through quicker.

    Sometime the pain also helps us get rid of self importance. Once everything is stripped away, what is true remains. It is how one handles the hardest times that one learns the most about oneself. Take this OPPORTUNITY to study yourself and how you handle your ego and it can be your greatest opportunity for growth.

    Here’s a great video for you to watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OB-NLlwzfOM

    And bless you!

  • zinfandelzinfandel Raw Newbie

    I highly recommend checking out flower essences (Bach) as well. Also, the homeopathic remedy Ignatia is great for heartbreaks (I know from experience). They should help give you any extra strength you need. I think a slight splurge on these things would be a good way of treating yourself well.

  • MOTHMOTH Raw Newbie

    OMG – you guys are making me cry! it’s a good thing – these are tears that I want, LOL. I keep trying to re-focus on self-love and self-worth and I keep being hard on myself!

    you’re right; what’s going on with me IS NOT the end of the world; everything will be okay.

    I appreciate SO MUCH all of the love and support you all have given me; It makes me feel good to know that I am worth the kind things you are saying about me.

    I’ll try and buck up…baby steps, right..I think I must try and treat myself like a little child…just being gentle…babying myself…that might feel good.

  • Oh you make me cry too! lol Of course it is “the end of the world”, at least for the moment, this is a very hard time for you and it is normal to cry a lot.

    This can sound tough and I don’t know if you are ready to hear it but in a divorce something that makes all the difference, including for your self esteem, is a good lawyer (and a bad one is a disaster).


  • And don’t beat yourself up if you “cheat” and eat raw “junk” food (I wouldn’t consider any truly raw food to be junk food anyway – maybe you’re being too hard on yourself, which is what I’ve been accused of many times).

    Take it easy on yourself. Go treat yourself to a raw chocolate goodie, enjoy the time, embrace the joy, appreciate the natural bounty of the earth that went into it and your place here as well, take a deep breath, and tell us all about it (the good and the bad and whatever else you want to unload).

    We’ll listen and won’t judge and support you however we can. Then, when someone else needs the same thing, you’ll be there too.

    We’re with you all the way.

  • zinfandelzinfandel Raw Newbie

    Mr. Mickmaster! Congratulations! I have a feeling you are the first male to post on this thread! A nod to you for standing up! It automatically commands respect (in my opinion at least).

  • littlegemslittlegems Raw Newbie

    aw Moth, I just logged in here after a bit of a break and saw this post. Sending you super raw joy vibes.

    This is a sad time for you, and yet through the turmoil you will emerge a stronger person. Let yourself cry and release the sorrow. I cried a lot during the 2 years of my divorce… it was a relief; I always feel cleansed after a good cry.

    remember, Love is infinite. Your divorce represents only 1 particular love that you have moved on from. But take all of the good parts from your relationship… those good things that helped you become who you are today, and cherish them. It is ok to hold onto that love; it was real and will always be. And forgive yourself and your ex for all of your shortcomings.

    As you get through this transition, forgive yourself for your transgressions, even in your eating.

    I am actually going through a backlash of sorts, of not wanting fruit right now too… I’ve finally realized today it might be because the summer fruit is gone. I can’t eat peaches anymore because they taste like Fall, not sweet and juicy like they were all summer.

    I’ve found berries and apples to be my new favorite… oh and my farmer’s market has a new plum that is delicious. Try changing to fruit that you haven’t been eating all summer… stay away from like bananas and golden kiwis.

    hope your new job and new place are just what you need for a new start. Your previous work environment sounded stressful, with your co-workers getting in your face! you deserve so much better. peace.

  • angie207angie207 Raw Newbie

    I applaud you for the strength you’re showing. Even though you don’t see it, you have a strong heart, and that’s what people appreciate & admire in you. I went through ending a job, a breakup, having to move back in with my parents & then starting back to college & helping take care of my grandpa who was dying, etc. – all within a few months last year – and I did not fare so well. I did not stay raw; probably not even 50%. I now realize that eating raw is a choice to take care of myself, and it’s just a part of all the care I need from me. If/when I am stressed, I now make a conscious decision to eat calming raw foods, as my experience last year made me realize that raw food is what makes me able to function & deal well with stressful situations. It’s okay that you’re feeling overwhelmed. That’s some pretty overwhelming stuff – any one of those things is! It’s okay that you don’t know how to handle it all yet. You are still you – just remember that! It’s easy to feel lost & alone when leaving the familiar & stepping into new territory – I feel a great sense of peace & comfort when I talk to someone who has known me for a long time. I remember that I am me, that I have not always been scared & alone & lost, and I know that must mean that I won’t always feel this way, either. Things will get better – just hold on. We DO love you – and it’s okay to love yourself even when you’re not perfect, and even when you don’t have all the answers, and even if you don’t know what to think about any of it. Love yourself! Nurture the part of you that is really you, and she will grow :)

  • Hello Moth, how are you doing?

  • MOTHMOTH Raw Newbie

    Hey everyone! I want to thank you all for such beautiful words of wisdom and guidance! I really love you guys and sooo appreciate the support from you all. I feel like you guys are on the same page as I am when we notice how much diet effects us. My own eating is such a good indicater into “how I am doing.” I pay such close attention to what’s going into my body and when something changes, I feel nervous. I feel like you guys understand that. I just want to say thank you – I really trust the information and help you guys gave me. :::hugs:::

    Well, basically, after spending a night wailing up to GOD and the Universe for help, the next day my landlord forbid my ex and I from moving out of our current apartment, stating we gave insufficient notice. He’s making us pay our October rent, and then we’ll have a whole another month to find places to live. My ex was pissed, but I was soo relieved. I wasn’t ready to transition away yet, just unprepared…now we just have to survive living together for a bit longer, LOL. But at least I won’t be homeless.

    The job that I quit my other job to get didn’t work out. The money just wasn’t there. So I am jobless right now and when I am not looking for work I am sleeping and it feels great. I feel like I haven’t had a chance to rest in months and months. I’ve been fasting a bit because it forces me into a low energy state and that feels wonderful right now. I feel like I was having a nervous breakdown and now it’s over. I don’t mind being unemployed right now – I’ll find more work soon enough.

    I definitely don’t crave the high-fat gourmet raw foods now that I am less stressed. I really enjoy fasting at the moment – or just sucking on the juice of oranges. I’ve been reading some spiritual books and laying in bed a lot. I just really really needed a physical and mental rest, I think. It feels so nice.

    So I basically feel like I’m relaxing and taking care of myself. :-)

    thank you for the support everyone – it means more then you can know! :::heart::::

  • Moth- I hope you soon realize just how amazing and special you are. Just for being you. ...And then on top of that you go above and beyond! You have had the courage to open up to people and ask for help and admit how vulnerable you feel. Incredibly risky to many people, to open up and strip the layers of Ego away and ask for compassion and help … incredibly BRAVE. You have set a beautiful example to all of us to also be honest and ego-less. I hope in your time of struggling with the confusion about what will happen next in your life, you will also recognize just how amazing a step you already took; how incredibly courageous, strong, amazing, and worthwhile you are… and always have been. Much loving thoughts and admiration out to you Beautiful Powerful Woman.

  • Moth it is always a pleasure to read you. Take care of yourself, again and again.

  • angie207angie207 Raw Newbie

    MOTH – Thanks for your example & for sharing your experience! I have been super stressed lately, and I’m feeling like the things I’ve been eating the last couple of weeks (from lack of time & availability, and a need to just keep going) have been putting too much stress on my system. I didn’t know how to get out of the cycle, but your last post really resonates with me. I need to re-focus on connecting to God, and I need to let go of all the running & craziness. I’m going to relax & take things a little easier, even if it means I don’t get done all the things I thought I had to do. I already knew I needed to slow down, but your post reminded me that it’s okay – no, better than okay; it’s wonderful to rest & take care of myself. Thank you again! :)

  • What a beautiful thread!

    Moth, You have more love on this one thread than you know. Times are changing, and the world can be scary and confusing, we all go through our own dilemmas. The best we can do is to just hang on and keep stepping forward. And remember that our creator is always by our sides looking out for us, and when we ask for help, we will get it. Believe it and expect it. Eating raw is a choice, just like eating cooked is. If you slip and eat something you felt like, laugh and say you deserved it, especially if you enjoyed it. Not that you have slipped…you are strong! I admire you for that.

    Stay strong. You are loved by so many! :::HUGS:::

  • MOTHMOTH Raw Newbie

    Much love everyone! :::heart::: I’m hanging in there! I have a job lined up in November and I was able to open up to my local friends about how I was feeling – and they’ve been sooo wonderful and beautiful and loving and gentle with me – they’ve seriously been awesome support, spiritually and physically.

    I am doing better. I’m going to have to pawn my engagement ring to pay the landlord what he wants right now, but – I am okay with that. I can’t really wear it anymore, anyway…

    Diet-wise – well, I can’t afford much more then oranges and apples, so that’s what I’m eating – and my body is thanking me. I really overdid it on the raw gourmet stuff, but it served it’s purpose for me….I am so so thankful that I had that option available.

    I’m so glad if this post helped anyone else…thank you everyone!

  • jimm5jimm5 Raw Newbie

    Well, how's everything going sealed

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