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Oh no...

I have an issue.

My mom has been against me going raw, and she now is wanting me to eat cooked processed foods.

She wants me to eat more things with rice and grains and i dont really want to eat them.

Do you guys have any suggestions on what i should do or any recipes?

Thanks so much :)

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Comments

  • What about soaking wild rice and using it in amarinated salad. Or, sprouted quinoa in taboulleh? That might satisfy her.

  • soaking wild rice, that could be a possability.

    what makes wild rice different from the um more regular rice?

    sorry im still unsure when it comes to soaking/sprouting :)

    the main thing she wants me to eat is like bread, and i have told her that i really have no desire for it. it just gets frustrating sometimes...

  • If you must add cooked foods and don't want to include grains then perhaps you would feel more comfortable about eating quinoa and buckwheat which are seeds rather than grains. I see lots of quinoa and buckwheat pastas and breakfast cereals in the supermarkets, I know it's not ideal but it's better than having wheat and it might satisfy your mother. It's a shame that she doesn't understand.

  • Mikfizzle, it's your body. Eat what YOU want to eat. Don't listen to your mother.

  • if i listened to my parents i would be eating loads of meat right now. you're doing what's best for your body. keep doing that :)

    if you have to cook, dehydrate, marinate, spice or otherwise adulterate something to make it palatable, it's not meant to be eaten by humans.

  • I agree. I would do nothing to appease her. What if her next request is even more outrageous and because you acquiesed this time, she will keep on pressing.

    Your body - your choice. If a man were trying to rape you, she'd be saying the same thing. No double standards need to apply just because she's your mother. Someone who has sex and gets pregnant isn't exactly automatically equipped with the best knowledge or ANY nutritional knowledge, for that matter.

  • It sounds like your mom just might need a little more education about your choices. Instead of being rude or nasty to

    your mom why don't you share why you chose to eat raw if you have books on being raw have her read them show her the information you found on the net. The founder of The Living Food Diet is Dr. Ann Wigmore there is a lot of information about her and how she healed herself with living foods and started the Ann Wigmore foundation in Boston. She is the reason I became raw after 35 years of eating meat, dairy, and all types of processed foods. Try with education first, but in the end it is your body and your health I just think you should respect your mom as she should respect you.

  • Mikfizzle -- I applaud you, as a teenager, for making healthy choices. Could you share with us why your mother is so concerned? Because you're 16, I assume your mother is supporting you financially. And I would also assume she feels she has legitimate concerns for your health, based on your eating patterns. In your April 9th post you mention transitioning from flexitarian to vegetarian and then vegan.

    Was your mother concerned before you started the transition to raw? On an earlier thread you wrote that you don't get hungry, have to force yourself to eat and this sometimes makes you feel sick. What do you eat in a typical day? Are you getting sufficient calories and nutrients? I seem to remember that you drink a lot of carrot and apple juice each day. Are you also including greens in your diet? Are you loosing weight? Do you have other health issues? If we knew what her concerns were, perhaps we could more effectively assist.

    I would not be comfortable suggesting that you refuse to comply with your mother's wishes. If she does not have justifiable concerns for your health, perhaps you can come up with some compromises for now. There will come a time when you have complete control over and responsibility for your life.

    PS: Joannabanana had a similar situation with her mother. You might find some helpful ideas on the mom / daughter relationship in this thread. I especially like Schmoopee's response (#10). Here's the link: http://www.goneraw.com/forum/coming-clean

  • Rice and grains aren't "processed foods," they are whole foods. There are some breads that are healthy and nutritious. (I am not one who believes that cooked foods are poison.) I'm going to support Emtpdmom and agree about looking at your current diet, calories, nutritional requirements, etc. At least once you know your diet is sound and meeting your body's needs, you'll have the information you need to work with her.

    Wild rice isn't a rice, it's a grain from a grasslike plant. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_rice

  • Don't eat grains! There are cooked foods less harmful than grains. I would recommend finding things that don't bother your body. For example, I can eat cooked sweet potatoes with out having trouble. Probably because of their high water content. But grains are far more harmful so I would avoid them at all costs.

  • I agree with Troubles.

    If you choose to eat cooked food (and make it your choice - it's your body, I will reiterate), sweet potatoes or broccoli are good choices.

    But again, set the precedent that you own your body; you respect your body; nobody can tell you what to do with it. It is NOT disrespectful to your mother to choose what you put in your body.

  • Thanks so much everyone for your support! :)

    The thing is I have lost quite abit of weight from being raw vegan, and my mom is getting concerned because my school consuler called her questioning her about wether or not i had an eating disorder - which i dont. I am perfectly healthy and at a normal weight for someone my height.

    My mom says that their is no way a growing girl can get the calories she needs from fruits and veggies alone - and that she wants me to be healthy. my response was what am i eating now thats unhealthy? she had no reply to that.

    Yesterday in the store it was horrible my mom actually wanted me to get these processed vegan burgers and she said "oh but their vegan!" and im like yea but they are going to be cooked and they contain so many chemical's and preservatives that make them un natural. She made me eat grains last night and still to this moment i feel sick to my stomach. Im actually tearing up just thinking about it.

    It doesnt seem fair to me that she is able to force me to eat things that i have no desire to eat just because i am 16 and she is my mom. i love her dearly but i cant even talk to her when she is is forcing me to do something that is literally making me feel misrable.

    I have NO desire to eat cooked foods what so ever - but she is wanting me to include grains and all other things that i wont eat.

    I need any of the recipe suggestions you guys have that i could make to possibly satisfy her.

    please, i honestly am dreading meals now i have no idea what to do anymore. :(

  • here's what you should do to satisfy her:

    download this program called cron-o-meter. it's free.

    http://spaz.ca/cronometer/

    input your daily intake of food. see how many calories you are getting and add more fruits and veggies/greens to your diet if you aren't eating enough. also, the nutrients are set to rda standards. rda standards are for the average american.

    "Not all of the numbers on cronometer are numbers you need to meet though. The RDA's are based on generalisations. There are more specific RDA's depending on specific dietary intakes. For example, on an animal-free, low sodium diet, you only need 450mg calcium instead of the 1000mg recommended. However your calcium needs to be in a 1:1 ratio to phosphorus, which if you're getting enough calories in, will always be higher than this. Both will usually be higher than this. As a female, you need 14.8mg iron, and you need 3-4.9mg zinc as a female, unless youre pregnant. Your selenium requirements are only 26mcg per day. Your sodium requirements are around 6-460mg per day (i suggest aiming for at least 250mg). your omega 6 requirements are around 2500-4000mg per day as a female."

    not sure what you weight or height is but i think as long as you are eating at least 2,000 calories per day in fruit and greens that you will be getting enough protein. i think around 36-44 grams is ideal.

    you can go through and manually change all the nutrient levels to fit your diet.

    once you get the hang of how much you need to eat to reach all your requirements, show her your daily log. i'm sure she will be very surprised to see that you can get all your calories, protein, fat, vitamins, minerals, and water from fruits and veggies.

  • thanks so much kelly :)

    i wanted to ask i made a post asking about the raw breads from companies like Good Stuff by Mom and Me and Lydias Organics. Are those considered raw since their dehydrated? My thought process is that i could maybe eat those to satisfy my mom without compromising what i believe in too much.

    (i mean if its between that and a loaf of cooked grains/beans i choose that!)

  • dehydrated breads are raw. You can buy them, but they are expensive. You can easily make your own breads and crackers. They are quite easy. All the recipes you need are here. I got a very inexpensive dehydrator from Walmart to see if I would stick to this raw thing before investing in an expensive Excalibur.

    My little cheapie Walmart dehydrator is working great and it has a dial to set different temps, and I have made wonderful breads, crackers, wraps, pie crusts, cookies.

  • Pirawna - what brand of dehydrator did you buy and do you know off hand how much it costs? I am thinking that dehydrated breads could definatly satisfy my mom, i just have to get a dehydrator first. :)

  • Mikfizzle -- Kelly's advice is excellent. You definitely should evaluate your daily intake and make any adjustments necessary to ensure you are getting sufficient calories and nutrients. Both your school counselor and your mother are concerned with your weight loss. You said you have lost "quite a bit of weight from raw vegan." How much is "quite a bit of weight"? Would you mind sharing with us your height and current weight? If this question is too personal, I apologize. But having a more complete picture of your circumstances might be helpful in sharing suggestions.

    Ladies -- I'm a bit concerned with some of the advice given in this thread. I understand that it's her body. HOWEVER we don't have all the FACTS here, and don't know this young lady's history. I feel telling a 16 year old to disregard the advice of her mother and guidance counselor (caring adults who seem genuinely concerned for her health) is less than responsible on our part, when we have so few details. With more information perhaps this community can help her carve out a workable plan. Sorry if I've "stepped on some toes" here. I know everyone has the best of intentions.

  • If the mom knows her daughter wants to be raw and is worried about her daughter's weight loss, then SHE COULD ADVISE TO EAT MORE RAW CALORIES.

    She wouldn't be trying to get her daughter to eat junk/cooked food.

    Further, I'd hardly consider it "advice" when someone tells you to eat cooked food. It's more an uninformed statement of desire. If someone told me to go outside where my dog peed and swallow some grass, I'd "disregard" that "advice," too.

  • emtpdmom- thank you for being reasonable. I dealt with a similar situation when a young girl with some health issues similar to mine decided to go raw after seeing what it did for me. Her mother disagreed and made her eat cooked food. She was upset and frustrated but as a child in her mother's care it's hard to just say 'disobey your mother'......however, I encouraged her to keep a good attitude and let her mother know every thing she feels when she eats certain foods and finally her mother took her to a naturopath and the doctor gave her some advice and supplements. Together the two of them found a happy medium and their relationship wasn't broken over a food issue.

  • I like to eat soaked wild rice now and then. I usually soak it in the refridgerator until it starts to split. it seems to me that it takes a couple of days. I change the water daily. My favorite way to eat it is with a diced firm pear, a little ginger, a handful of dried cranberries, a little bit of minced fresh rosemary,a small amount of pecans and a dressing made with a tiny bit of olive oil, a sweetner (i use agave or date sugar) and a squeeze of lime, dash of salt. It makes a delicious salad.

    I recently tried soaked quinoa. I soaked it the same way, but it didn't take as long. Then I added lots of chopped parsley, green onion, chopped tomatoes, and an olive oil and lime dressing. This is good served on a bed of greens with cucumbers. If you want a feast, whip up a little hummus too, I love hummus and tabouli.

  • Raw corn might make a nice addtion to your diet. I make pico de gallo with raw corn, diced tomatoes, lots of cilantro, minced onion, a little diced chili (serrano), lots of lime juice, a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper and some diced avocado. It is good served in romaine lettuce leaves, baby red and yellow bell peppers that have been cut in half or just eat with a fork!

  • vegan2rawvegan2raw Raw Newbie

    Hi Mickfizzle,

    I think the cheap dehydrator is a good way to go breads and other dense things would probably appease your mom. Also maybe try cooked quinoa it is a seed and gluten free. Have you tried educating your mom and explaining to her in detail the raw food diet? Or finding a naturopath or supportive adult that she might more easily listen to? I am a mom of two toddlers and I do believe it is hard for them to consume enough raw fruits and veggies so we incorporate lots of kale smoothies and quinoa as well as cooked beans added to our raw burgers. I think it is important not to get to extreme with any way of eating as it can lead to unhealthy obsessions. I am sure your mom is like the rest of the US and has a hard time understanding how you can get enough eating vegan let alone raw so try to be compassionate with her in explaining and I would bring up gluten intolerances most people have from grains. Name some famous olympians who are high raw vegans.

    ~As far as everyone telling her to ignore and disobey her mom shame on you she is still under her parents care and you could cause her a lot more stress by telling her to be so rebellious when this could be solved through non-aggressive communication.

    Also you said you cant talk to her when she makes you upset by forcing you to eat something you dont want to , I would try being honest and say 'It makes me feel (what you feel in non agressive wording) when you force me to eat something like cooked grains" Express your feelings its important for you and her that you remain honest even when upset. Otherwise it could build up and escalate into something worse. She sounds genuinely concerned and is also probably worried since the counselor has gotten involved, I know families who have been investigated and bombarded by CPS on a counselors reccomendation since they were raising their children vegan.

    Another idea is that quinoa/rice with steamed veggies would be the healthiest option in my opinion (grain free no fried fats) top with avocado or raw ginger apricot dressing. You can steam veggies for a milisecond so they are raw in the middle and barely cooked. To help stop you from loosing too much weight incorporate some young coconuts or more avo's.

    I hope you find solutions in a peaceful way you have had many good responders on here and I am sure you can pick the positive from the negative you sound like a smart girl,

    Namaste

  • I believe that we can agree or disagree with each other without negative connotations or implied insults.

    We all come from different backgrounds. I come from a place where I had to work to eat at 16 because my parents didn't buy me enough food. I bought my own car, my own clothes, my own food. I'll be stoned to death before I let anyone stand around and say that my parents knew best to give me Toaster Strudels for breakfast, $1.40 for the pizza-and-French fry school lunch, and an Arby's roast-beef 5-for$5 sandwich (if I was lucky enough to get dinner) from my dad (who earned over 100K a year). LUCKILY, I had plenty of extra money to supplement my lunch with the salad bar, the bean soup, and some granola.

    I would never automatically assume that someone with a vagina/uterus that works and someone who has some sperm actually knows the first thing about raising a child.

    We do KNOW that this person asked for our help and that she doesn't want to eat cooked food. That much, we can go on. SHE DOES NOT WANT TO EAT COOKED FOOD.

    I respect the OP. Hopefully her mother will, too, and buy her an extra box of bananas.

  • when this could be solved through non-aggressive communication.

    exactly our point! no need for the mom to be aggressive and abusive in trying to force her daughter against her daughter's will.

  • vegan2rawvegan2raw Raw Newbie

    Superfood

    Your situations is horrible but we do not know that Mickfizzle is in any sort of similar situation. We cannot assume her parents are horrible and get all agressive just b/c our parents were horrible. I think your frustration over your own situation with your family makes it hard for you to give her positive advice. She is 16 and still living under their roof to completely disobey them and fight over food choices is only going to make them fight harder and result in more drama. Rather she could find articles or other ways of EDUCATING them and explaining her feelings and not wanting to be forced to eat things like grains etc. I am very sorry for what you went through many of us have similiar stories but the best thing to do in My own opninion is put it behind you and be grateful it led you to raw veganism which I think we can all say we are grateful for that.

    Peace and Light

  • One a lighter note, Daniefon your pico de gallo sounds awesome!!

  • very well said vegan2raw!!

  • creating more dissent between a mother and a daughter over food seems dangerous. Just help you mom understand where you're coming from and maybe make a compromise. If the losing weight is her concern then try to eat more high calorie raw food and see if that will help her. Avocados, mangos and bananas should help you:)

  • Thanks, but I'm fine w/ regard to what I went through. I am 29. ;)

    My point wasn't "everyone feel bad for me, my parents were horrible" (that's the least of their problems, the nutritional part); my point was that parents don't always (and probably rarely) know "best."

    I did give positive advice. I gave no negative advice. YOU perceive it as negative. I don't.

    ----------------

    Let's review my posts:

    I agree. I would do nothing to appease her. What if her next request is even more outrageous and because you acquiesed this time, she will keep on pressing.

    Your body - your choice. If a man were trying to rape you, she'd be saying the same thing. No double standards need to apply just because she's your mother. Someone who has sex and gets pregnant isn't exactly automatically equipped with the best knowledge or ANY nutritional knowledge, for that matter.

    I agree with Troubles.

    If you choose to eat cooked food (and make it your choice - it's your body, I will reiterate), sweet potatoes or broccoli are good choices.

    But again, set the precedent that you own your body; you respect your body; nobody can tell you what to do with it. It is NOT disrespectful to your mother to choose what you put in your body.

    ---

    And I stand by those posts. HER body, her choice. I will never, ever, regardless of who the parents are, good or bad, relent on that advice. How someone can call that "negative advice" or act as if I'm being negative is beyond my comprehension. It's all positive - empowerment to your own body.

    I'm sorry that some people don't understand that; maybe you have your own issues to work through if you think someone else can control you or your body, regardless of age.

  • How is someone owning their own body "dangerous" or "dissenting"? It's nothing but empowering and taking control of oneself. I wish more people would do it instead of blaming others for their problems.

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