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losing connection

elizabethhelizabethh Raw Newbie

its an interesting time in my life, as i’ve found i’m losing ties with a number of people who i previously was very close with, and it is a direct result of my raw diet. generally the main reason is i can’t fit in with them anymore because none of my stories start with “man, i was soooooo wasted…” and i’m not into binge drinking or other stuff anymore. this isn’t necessarily a negative thing, but it’s still a big change that takes time adjusting to. i find myself gravitating away from them and making up excuses not to hang out because it just isn’t as fun with some people without substance abuse involved. anybody else go through something similar? what helped you adjust?


  • Hi Elizabethh,

    the same thing happened to me, I went raw and people I hung out with and I started drifting away. I was concerned initially but then I took comfort in the fact that I was putting in my body the best food ever and so I am probably growing and that losing touch is natural. Slowly I met like minded people who were into health, nature and the planet. Give it some time and you will attract and manifest some lovely people in your life. On line buddies helped at the beginning when I relly felt the absence of my friends whom I lost. Take courage, xo Dea

  • I can empathize. I’ve encountered similar issues when trying to get my own business going, and not just working for someone else. Sometimes it seems the more successful you become, or the healthier you become, the more some people are going to resent you or not want to hang around any more.

    Yeah, it might seem really boring. But if you have to choose between falling back into the same old rut, and moving forward, you should always choose to move forward. The few people who will appreciate your changes will stick with you, and might even become interested and inspired as well.

    That’s the best advice I can offer. Be strong!

  • Yes, I stopped drinking, or using any sort of substnace, 5 years ago and sort of drifted from the people I would regularly socialize with. I’ll tell you that it has been a great blessing in my life. Now, after some years, most of those people have come around to ask me questions about the benefits of staying clean… Gotta keep moving in the right direction. Thats what was on the forefront of my mind. Right on with your decisions.

  • I’m going through the exact thing right now. I stopped doing drugs a few months ago, and with that all my friends disappeared. I don’t drink and haven’t in quite a long time.. and that’s very uncommon for the college kids here. I go to class, and then I come home. I seem to get bouts of loneliness somewhat often.. but I just don’t want to put those things in my body. It’s not worth it anymore. I can’t imagine drinking or smoking or doing anything else- it actually frightens me now.

    I just get so bummed sometimes. It really seems like there’s no one around here who is like-minded. Sigh.

  • hannahmariehannahmarie Raw Newbie

    i’m kind of going through the same thing, too.

    it isn’t too intense, though, just because i spent a few years with the friends i had going through an ‘i don’t drink or do any other kind of drug’ thing, so it is kind of like back to square one with them. i have been so busy with everything in my life right now that it hasn’t come into play much, yet, but i believe it will. :/, i wish people weren’t so concerned over what i choose to do with myself…

  • I can relate as well. When I quit drinking, about 5 1/2 years ago I drastically lost all of the people who I thought were my friends. At first it was quite lonely, and then slowly I connected with new people whose habits and interests were more aligned with mine. I went raw about 6 months ago, and I’m finding that the process is happening again. I’m sort of in between worlds at the moment- developing new connections with people who I can relate to on all levels, and at the same time staying somewhat connected to a lot of folks who I’ve been close with over the past few years. One of the biggest realizations I’ve had over the past couple months, is around the fact that we- as humans are ALL connected. It has enabled me to feel close to so many people- those who I meet whose habits and lifestyles align well with mine- as well as old friends, and family who live in a variety of different ways. I think what helps me to feel okay in it all, is that I am learning how to ask for the kind of support I desire, from the people who are great at providing it.

  • hannahmariehannahmarie Raw Newbie

    i can’t agree more, savrah. some of my great friends are nothing ‘like’ me. i don’t think anyone should just automatically be discounted for any reason. i find more and more people ‘breaking up’ with old friends because of some minute detail, but really everyone is fun/helpful/needing you at some point, and you should always stay around for that.

  • Many years ago, I went through a “friend transition” I will call it. A group of people I considered my best friends at the time were suddenly not around and not there for me anymore. Eventually I made new friendships with less shallow people and I consider them “true” friends.

    When I first transitioned to being vegetarian, some friends and family would jokingly taunt me with bacon. When I became vegan, I would be taunted with cheese. Now that I am raw, there is still the occasional teasing with cooked vegan food, but the point is that the same friends that teased me 10 years ago are the same ones teasing me now. Just because what I eat or drink may be different, I have chosen to include good people in my life who are open-minded and respectful of me and my decisions. In fact, many of my friends and family have tried my cooking and loved it.

    So one way I deal with going to a BBQ or a party with friends who will be eating or drinking things I choose not to, is by eating before getting there or bringing a large plate of a yummy raw dish (or usually a dessert!) to share. Once people try something and love it, I will then tell them it’s raw and people seem to be more willing to hear about it once they realize that I am not deprived or only eating “leaves and berries.” A lot of my friends are now hooked on green smoothies!

    Food for thought :)

  • I know when i stopped smoking, drinking, and partying i lost quite a few friends. That lets you know that they weren’t your TRUE friends to begin with. Where im at there aren’t any raw foodies. I would have to travel to make such friends. On meetup.com, you can type in your location and alternative health and see what comes up. They hold monthly meetings if that interest you.

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