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RAW or SAD partners?

Hello everyone,

I was wondering, for those of you who are in a long-term relationship, whether or not your partner is raw, and how this affects you.

I eat mostly raw, but my partner does not. He is supportive of however I chose to eat, but I’ve found it really challenging at times to live with someone with such a different diet. Before going raw I used to make dinner for both of us; now he sometimes tries my dishes but often prepares his own food. This can feel frustrating because I love food preparation and I try to be creative, and I often want to share this joy. But, on the other hand, he loves when I make big colorful salads with homemade dressings, so we have that a lot, and he also splits a green smoothie with me every morning. Really he’s pretty agreeable, but I do sometimes think it would be so nice if my partner had the same passion for raw foods as I do. On the other hand, it’s good to have a partner who is different from me, and who has different passions, so that we can balance each other.

I am curious to hear about other people’s experiences on this topic.


  • Luna bluLuna blu Raw Newbie

    It really does make it challenging for me to stay raw as much as i would like. i find i am tempted by cooked junk.

    Otherwise it’s fine. He respects my choec and i respect his. I never hassel him about eating what he eats, it’s not worth it. We have been married two years this August, together for 10 this November!! I love him too much to let food become an issue between us!!

  • I’m about 70-80% raw at the moment depending on what weird pregnancy cravings I can’t ignore for the day; and my husband is maybe 40% raw. He fully supports me wanting to become more and more raw and is really awesome about taking me shopping for produce and trying raw dinners with me. I think he would be happy to also transition to close to 100% (he’ll never give up his kidney beans and mashed potatoes though).

    The hardest part for us is just that we both have really different metabolisms. Mine is slow and I suffer if I try to eat heavy foods like nuts and grains and starches; and his is really fast and he just can’t get full off of mostly fruits and veggies. So I end up making two dinner options a lot of the time anyways, but not one cooked/one raw just one light/one heavy.

    but yeah, he’s really awesome and supportive and I love him.

  • yes…I’m like 90% raw and my bf who I live with couldn’t be more opposite (lucky for him he is naturally skinny, he eats like crap though!) We don’t usually cook together anyway because I can’t eat gluten, dairy, soy, fake sugar, etc etc so it’s not like I have to make dinner for him. But he does give me wierd looks and says I eat rabbit food, he’s afraid I don’t get enough fat and calories and stuff, but if it helps my digestion even a little (usually I feel crappy 6 of 7 days of the week) he doesn’t care as much that I eat “wierd”, haha. I make exceptions for sushi though, we will go out for that!

  • ZoeZoe Raw Newbie

    Thank Goodness my husband is raw! I just don’t know how I would have done it without him. I’m not that good at experimenting with recipes so if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have had all the gorgeous food that I have loved so much over the last 3 years. What he’s not good at I am and vice versa, so together we are a very strong team.

    We’re both 100%. He went all the way before I did, which inspired me to do the same. So it’s great, at family gatherings, meeting friends etc there’s two of us which makes us both very confident about what we do and telling people about it. I feel extremely lucky to have a partner to be raw with. My heart goes out to all of you who are on your own, or in a family of SAD people, which most people are. I think it is amazing how so many people end up cooking 2 or 3 different meals for all the different tastes in their family.

  • Luna bluLuna blu Raw Newbie

    Zoe – Lucky lucky you!! That would make things so easy to have a partner in ‘crime’! :)

  • angie207angie207 Raw Master

    I’m divorced, but living with my parents. When I was married, even before eating raw, I ate really bad compared to how I had eaten before that, because I just ended up mostly eating what my husband wanted, and my health declined a lot. I know now that if I am going to get married again, he will have to be accepting and supportive, and of course I wouldn’t mind at all if he loved to eat raw! But if I’m married to someone who supports my choices and helps me to do what’s best for me, that is the most important part. :)

  • I have a meat lover boyfrend of 3 years who thought I was insane when I told him I wanted to go raw. Now afer talking about the benefits, he agrees that I’ll feel better. :)

  • southernloversouthernlover Raw Newbie

    Raw…he’s amazing.

  • anngoingrawanngoingraw Raw Newbie


  • rachel_akikorachel_akiko Raw Newbie

    I’m single so I don’t have to worry about that! :) but when I eventually decide to get a boyfriend I’ll want him to at least be a vegetarian, and really healthy.

  • nycgrrlnycgrrl Raw Newbie

    my DH eats whatever I make, although when he is at work I know he drinks coffee and eats some bread and tuna. But when he’s home he is happy to be raw. So I would say he’s about 60% raw but very supportive.

  • angie207angie207 Raw Master

    nycgrrl – What is a DH? Sorry, I’m clueless…

  • heartshapedskyheartshapedsky Raw Newbie

    DH= dear husband. mine too eats SAD. but, he’s very supportive of my choices;)

  • rachel_akikorachel_akiko Raw Newbie

    Darling Husband?

  • bittbitt Raw Newbie

    my husband is vegan and we were both vegan when we met. since i’ve gone raw, he is raw at home and cooked or raw (depending on mood and what’s available) outside of the home. he is on a trip now and has been visiting the health food store for green smoothies. he just knows he feels better with them! now i know he wasn’t just doing it for me.

  • That is so funny for the longest time I thought it meant dumb husband..because who ever says dear husband? My husband is lucky to have a skinny body. He will eat whatever I make but has said on many occasions that he could never be satisfied on a raw diet. He said he is too hungry on it. He eats a healthier version of SAD, so do my kids. Which is really hard for me, knowing all the stuff we know about health.

  • angie207angie207 Raw Master

    I just talked to a guy I’ve been friends with for a long time, and he was giving me a lot of skepticism about “health food” eaters not looking very healthy, and I realized after talking to him that he has always been argumentative about the way I eat, no matter how many times I have talked to him about nutrition or how I feel like this is right for me now or how much better I feel eating this way or how my health has improved, and I was already feeling like he is maybe more of a drain on my energy than a support… I’m glad I had posted my opinion on this thread earlier today, so I could see the contrast tonight. I have another friend who knows how I eat and that it’s important for me to eat well so I can feel good, and he is very supportive and understanding even though he doesn’t eat the same way I do. Huge difference!

  • thecavsmanthecavsman Raw Newbie

    Raw. But I’ve caught her cheating behind my back in the recent past – rarely – and luckily only cheating with food lol. She is right behind me in the raw transition – I’ve been 100% for about 5 weeks and she is probably 95%. I got her into it and now she loves it.

  • green girlgreen girl Raw Newbie

    I am 100% raw, but my husband is not. He is very supportive and has been drinking green smoothies every morning and even eating my suppers. He does eat whatever he wants at lunch though and his weekends are a lot more SAD than his weekdays. I am just glad that he is so supportive of what I am doing for me. I am trying to get more raw food into my kids diet, but it is a slow process, especially with my picky 3 year old.

  • lzhptlzhpt Raw Newbie

    Husband of 18 years has recently become vegetarian from SAD. This has been a major help to me as the meat breath was REALLY grossing me out. While he was trying to get his blood sugar under control, he went raw for a week. This was much harder preparing meals because we were different raw folks. He needed 3 course meals and in the evening, i just have greens, never a multi-course meal. it’s a mess over here. One vegan, one raw vegan, one vegetarian and two other teens on pastured meats!

  • elizabethhelizabethh Raw Newbie

    i’ve never dated a raw guy, or even a vegetarian, but so far guys have been fine with the way i eat. obviously i’m not married though so i can’t speak for the long-term thing…

  • Glad you posted on this! I was going to tonight. i think what keeps me from being a higher percentage of raw is that my DH is very very carnivorous! The idea that I would forgo cooked foods is just too much for him to wrap his brain around. So I eat raw breakfast, lunch and every other dinner when he works late. I have a baby daughter, so not sure how that will work when she is a young child! Unfortunately, he is not as supportive as I would like. He seems to think it is delusional of me to transition my diet in this direction and every attempt I make to teach him leads him to say that I am brainwashed by propoganda. I guess he is rather skeptical. Still, he is starting to drink a bit of green smoothie here and there and I am hoping in the end, he will notice the health improvements in both myself and in him. For the time being, he is very very entrenched in the SAD. Not much hope of conversion.

  • germin8germin8 Raw Master

    I love my husband. He is interested in health & nutrition and teaches raw food classes with me. We’ve been married 2.5 years. I am so blessed… he eats anything and everything I make him… which is a good and bad thing. Good because he eats all my food (even if I don’t like it) and bad because I’ll never know if other people will like my food. hehe. Well, that is somewhat-to-mostly true. Although we are not 100% raw, he wants to eat lots of raw foods! Next month we are going to try 90%+ raw. Fortunately, it was his idea. He wrote the first part of my profile description… and he just said the other day, that he knew I had a passion for health & nutrition, but he didn’t expect it to be this much… I just never stop. :o)

  • queenfluffqueenfluff Raw Newbie

    I always thought the DH abbreviation meant “domestic husband”... oh well.

    My bf is mostly raw but we both eat some cooked but we are both vegans. I stopped dating meat eaters a long time ago – anytime I dated one that ended up being one of the main reason we would break up so way should I have bothered anymore. I don’t like I could stand dead stuff in my frig.

    I actually met my bf at a raw food meetup. He was more into raw than me at the time but now I am a better raw “cook” than him. :) funny how we don’t like alot of the same raw things though…he likes all this spicey fermented stuff and green smoothies and wild greens. I like mild creamy raw things like hummus and raw cheezes and cacao and fruit smoothies and any raw dehydrated crackers and breads!

  • waterbaby12347waterbaby12347 Raw Newbie

    I am single/divorced so I don’t have the problem but had to chime in on the DH…

    Oh my goodness, I thought it meant damn husband… LOL Maybe that’s why I am single… Hehe hehe

  • I’m really glad this topic has been relevant to so many people. Thanks for sharing your experiences and insights! I am definitely jealous of those of you who have raw partners, especially because you are able to share your passion with someone so close to you. But I guess ultimately it’s about believing in yourself and your choices, and surrounding yourself with people who are supportive of your lifestyle whether or not they chose to live in the same way.

  • i am finding out how much creativity i can express in making raw food and how creatively my body can digest these masterpieces i form….. my girlfriend has been vegan for a year a veggie for 2 and she has turned me onto veganism but i can not so often break vegan but my choices are chosen by mind i love raw its so wonderful i feel very humble i feel so light so healthful even tired a little but it is a realistic beauty not a meaty greasy dairy plugged up stomach challenge. raw foods feed raw soul.

  • have_merseyhave_mersey Raw Newbie

    I always thought it meant “dear(est?) heart”. But anyway, I’m not exactly with anyone, but the person whom I love most (that sounds awful) has always been a very healthy eater. They always consumed a high portion of raw vegetables, and fruits, but do eat steamed, and boiled beans/rice. I’m not sure what percentage to put them at, but I know they have increased their “living food” intake quite a bit in the past two years(It seems strange to think it’s been that long, Wow). Even if they didn’t eat healthy, I believe that they would be supportive because we’ve always “let eachother be”. We’re also very spiritual and believe that God would tell us directly, or our bodies, what is best for us for that moment and have always followed that. SO I guess that’s kind of how I ended up here.

  • I am new to raw and my boyfriend is not. It is hard at times but for the most part he is supportive, it does get expensive though so any discrepancies that come up are due to the cost factor. Other than that it is doable, sometimes making 2 seperate meals is a bummer, but I don’t want him to be left out at meal time.

  • SAD boyfriend, but he loves raw veggies and fruits, just usually as a side dish to his meat and potatoes. weird that he actually likes more raw veggies than i do, i usually have to cover them in a sauce or dressing.

    i was a healthy SAD eater when we met, though i was a compulsive calorie counter, then spent a year eating whatever i wanted, then my fibromyalgia flared up and i have been on various vegan, exclusion and raw eating plans since then. he’s fairly accepting as long as i feel better and there’s food options for him. i find it a little difficult to resist all the foods in his apartment, but it helps that i am strongly gluten free. fear of getting sick helps me resist more than anything.

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