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Login Here Signup Here Signup using FacebookThis is a public response to Moth’s post dedicated to me: http://www.goneraw.com/forums/3/topics/7721
First off, I am honored and flattered that so many people have tag teamed in on that post, showing love and gratitude, and the same kind of light that you all feel from me. Thank you.
I wanted to take a moment to talk about why it’s important to maintain a positive attitude. Stevio’s comment really got me thinking about energy exchange.
Here’s the deal. Life isn’t always a picnic in the park. People aren’t constantly happy. There are many other emotions we feel, need to feel and should allow ourselves to feel. The trick is how we deal with the emtions we’d rather not feel: pain, sorrow, sadness, etc.
I am an easy target for harrassment. I leave my house and I already expect at least one person to stare and snicker, make a rude and nasty comment, laugh or gang up on me. I assume it to happen because generally it always does. I have realized that when you are anything different, anything beyond society’s standards, limitations, boxes… you are going to stick out and for me it’s been like I’m wearing a big red clown nose. People react. A majority of those reactions are negative: “I’m too thin, I look like I have cancer or aids, I’m too gay (I’m not even gay! I’m queer, meaning OPEN to love from ALL genders!). Is “it” or “that” a boy or a girl??? I’m too girly, I’ve got too many piercings and tattoos” – let’s stop there. Trust me, the list of remarks continues onward.
So what do I do? I use to REALLY let it get to me – resulting in depression, isolation, social anxiety, eating disordered thoughts and behaviors, body dysmorphic disorder thoughts and behaviors, hopelessness…negative energy exchange. I was hurting and allowing their hurt to bring me down.
I had to change my mentality. I had to change my outlook. Prospective makes all the difference in the world. I decided to start thinking about why people would react this way. I came to conclude that these people were hurting too…externalizing things… projecting things… feeling intimidated by my personal expression and freedom to be the person I feel I am and show this to the world.
Changing my outlook really helped me change myself and deal with the negative enegry I am subjected to on a regular basis.
I have come here and within a few short days have been blessed with such positive energy. I am happy to share mine with you as well. Raw food has brought me so much clarity, intuition, awarness, positive lifeforce energy! – to name a few. There is SCIENCE to food. It effects us. We need it to survive. Food isn’t just body power, it’s BRAIN POWER. You feed your body right and you will be blessed with more of a sound mind and health. I give RAW a lot of credit for it’s healing abilities. I believe we are eating food the way it’s meant to be eaten,as natural as possible, and many of us are being blessed by it’s beautiful benefits.
So this is a public post, like Moth’s, but to all of you. Thank YOU all for being here and your kind offerings.
In closing, remember that we can chose what kind of energy we allow in our lives and how it effects us. Negative energy will find any and every way to creep into our lives to take us down. It’s a parasite and will manifest inside you if you allow it to. I no longer chose to sit and sulk over the negative energy that attempts to attack me… and darling, if I’m wearing a clown nose then by GOD let that thing be HOT PINK! (and how about some stilettos and legwarmers to match?)
Smirk.
Pink TuTu Twirls, Johnny
Comments
This is great, so real, and haven’t we all been outcasted at one point or another? Now I try to make my differentness into uniqueness – who wants to be just another sheep in the flock? I like standing out for being different. It just baffles me how people can be so afraid of what’s different from them. Good for you, TheRawDance, for figuring a way into turning the tables and pirouetting above the nonesence that can sometimes turn the beauty of life into misery. Being negative’s a waste of time, time that will never again repeat itself – so why bother? Your explosive warmth shines in your writing and will hopefully be catching…
Thank you so much. You are right, everyone has dealt with their own share of harrassment.
I’ve been finding ways to center myself, with RAW of course but also other sources. One of my newest ones has been learning to sit in solitude. I recently wrote a piece on it. I’ll post the link here because I’m sure others can relate to it. There are various forms of meditation. I’m learning to find mine in quiet/solitude time, God/spirituality and nature. I have also found it through movement in dance : )
Here’s the piece, I call it “Lights Out, Lights On” – you’ll see why if you read it:
EDIT the link is not posting correctly If you to go my website – www.finddesirenotdemise.com then the piece can be found on the main page in the update box under “August Updates” (or on the tab “words” under “wordcore & spoken word)
PS LOVE YOUR BALLET ANALOGY!!!
TheRawDance, im so glad you don’t hide who you are. I find it’s much easier then pretending to be someone else. And if people don’t like it, well don’t worry. Just stick with true friends. I agree about the enery thing. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be a positive person, and you will find you’l attract positive people. I love reading your posts. Thank-you!
Dear Johnny,
Thank you so much for your beautiful honest open letter. Your words speak the truth and are so touching, they spread the innocent beauty of a wonderful soul.
The question is a lot of times… how would we be today if certain things would not have happened? How would your life be if all those negative things would not have happened to you?
In the moment when those things happen to us we dont see their sense, only their cruelty, but later on when we have (usually) grown out of our own reactions regarding others behaviors, we have grown indeed, grown to help, grown to spread our souls wisdom, grown to a peaceful inside.
You are so right with what you say, that those people who hurt us hurt actually more than we do… Their soul is stuck in the behavior of the ego, trapped in something they dont want to be, low self-esteem can bring out a lot of brutality.
My ex-husband was (and is still) an alcoholic and was physically and mentally abusive towards me. He had (s) a very low self-esteem and covered it up with alcohol and rude behavior, putting others (me) down to feel better and bigger.
Looking back I feel like with every time things got worse his soul tried to tell me ‘Go away, dont you get it? This is not your place to be. There are other things waiting for you. This is not YOU. What else do I have to do to make you leave?’
So hard it is sometimes to understand, but without suffering, without experiencing pain, we have a hard time to grow and find our soul’s purpose. Where does wisdom come from? From experience.
Today I give thanks to him to let me experience what I did, as without that I would not be where I am now and many of us would not be either, including you.
More than just sharing my story here in short I wanted to use these lines to give thanks so your soul and bow my head to your words and to your heart that speak so much truth.
Thank you,
Beate.
I spent most of my childhood being unhappy, bewildered and negative. I, too, developed an eating disorder and have spent the last half of my life fighting it. Raw food has taken me through my final stage of recovery, and it feels so beautiful to view myself, my body, and food in a refreshing, fabulous light!
Because I always thinking negatively, I constantly expected the worst from everyone and everything around me. That’s certainly no way to live! In order to change my energy, I started to consciously think about my thoughts. Whenever something negative popped in my head, I’d chase that thought out with something positive. This wasn’t easy at first! I’d spent so long being unhappy and sick and negative that thinking a positive thought was liking asking a blind man to see. But, it got easier and easier to recognize the negative thoughts… and then to think positive thoughts… until, suddenly, I was a happy-go-lucky optimist.
I always believe we should celebrate the differences in us all. I stick out, and I really don’t mind anymore. It’s my quietly defiant way of living my life, and I love it! And because I project a positive self-image now, people tend to compliment me rather than mock me or hurt me with their negativity.
Keep on rocking, everyone!
LOVE…. it is underestimated and I don’t know that anyone really gets it, but we can embrace it and do our best. Negative energy is a waste of time. Our circumstances need not dictate who we are or our well being. It’s all good…
...oh, and when it comes to boxes, they’re put to much better use for things rather than people. : )
Hi theRawDance Yes you do seem to shine as a beautiful spirit. You are really creative and articulate. (love your recipes btw)....
I must say though that I was at first rather worried that you were a bit thin – BUT only because of my own personal experience.. I didn’t (and don’t) wish to be judgmental. Please know that.
You see – 2 years ago I broke my back. It was spontaneous – not from trauma. Had to spend 3 months in the hospital on bed rest (and LOTS of pain killers)... then another month in a wheelchair… The doctors told me that I had injuries that they had only previously seen in car-crash victims or from people who have fallen off of roofs etc….
To make a long story short: I had lost a lot of weight from stress (divorce & living through Hurricane Charley) and my poor dietary habits.. back then (if I did “eat”) I pretty much just drank milk (cow’s milk UGH!!) with a big scoop of protein powder to boot.
All of this made my bones extremely weak—thus the fractures….
Since then I’ve been hypersensitive to the possibility of it happening to others (trust me – I wouldn’t wish it on anyone!)... so if I see someone who happens to be thin I worry that perhaps their bones are not as strong as they should be.
You are probably just naturally thin, but I’m really happy that you are on a raw diet. It will help to prevent the mineral loss that I had experienced.
Wishing you happiness & the best of health! :)
Hi Green!
Thank you for the response. I am thin due to a lifelong history of acute eating disorders. I have always been, medically speaking, underweight. You must keep in mind that 5 years ago I was in the 60lb range for a male at 5ft8 – I have come far from then but have a long ways to go. It’s a psychological disease that manifests the brain and body. I am doing what I can do to help in my recovery, raw has been a lifesaver in helping what has been treatable… I wish raw could cure osteoporosis (my bones at 25 matched someone of 85…). However, I am loading up on calcium rich foods, especially black sesame seeds (ground) and praying for more miracles to come.
Enough of that though, let’s celebrate both of our lives and the health we do have! I was once in a wheelchair too (due to my eating disorders and body canabolizing itself…severely) but am UP again and fighting. You are a survivor as well. It’s wonderful that RAW has worked well for you too!
I wish you the best of health and happiness too. Thank you so much for your care : )
Beate: You are a warrior. Your comment speaks wisdom. THANK YOU
I love all of your precious responses, each person brings something different to share!
Hi RawDance thanks for the reply
I’m sorry that you went through (are going through) all that too (the bone issues etc…). During my teens/twenties I was also anorexic .. which laid the ground-work for the weak bones.
I’m so grateful that we found the raw diet. I believe it is the only means of keeping the body alkaline.
Thanks for the reminder about the black sesame seeds! They have a lot of calcium.
And thanks again for sharing so many good recipes. :)
Cheers & Joy to you!
TheRawDance (and everyone else!) You are beautiful! Thanks for sharing so openly, honestly, and so FEARLESSLY! You all have amazing stories, and it is really a privilege to get to know some of them… Thanks for the black sesame seed tip, too! I didn’t know that, and am trying to help my Mom through osteopenia.
An article that has some strategies that might be useful for “Sponge People”, people who absorb energy from people around them, can be found at The Sponge People. Pages 1-3 is some examples and background. I found pages 4 and 5 useful… I’m a very spongy person. :)
Beautiful post. Well-said and thank you. ::::heart::::
(p.s….I am queer too. I didn’t know what it was called; I thought I had to be either gay or straight, and couldn’t feel comfortable with any of those labels. Not that I needed a label, but they seemed too polarized for me. Open to love from all genders – that’s me! :-) )