Hello Beautiful!

It looks like you're new to The Community. If you'd like to get involved, click one of these buttons!

In this Discussion

The worst raw-food confrontation I've ever had

MOTHMOTH Raw Newbie

Before I begin this, I just want to clarify one thing: I DO NOT usually talk about my diet at work. I don’t tell anyone I am a raw foodist unless they pry; I do not go around brandishing my raw food lifestyle at my job, despite the fact it is very important to me. I have learned that I am most happy just eating my raw food and not telling anyone about my decision to be purely RAW.

I work at Whole Foods – a grocery store – in the flower department.

Everyday, at breaktime and at lunch, I go to the produce department, swipe up about 10-12 ripe bananas from either the display, or the backroom where the super-ripe unsellable ones are kept, or I get about six apples, or six oranges, and carry them with me to the breakroom where I devour them.

So today was just an ordinary day. I was savoring my bananas, enjoying them, and I was eating about nine at once, which is a typical mono-meal of bananas for me.

Next thing I know, this woman comes into the breakroom, disturbs my lunch and starts questioning me about my diet. Asking me “Why are you eating so many bananas?” “do you eat anything else?” “Do you take supplements?” etc, I answer her questions honestly, as I feel better then I ever have in my life and feel pretty comfortable where I’m at with RAW. This lady has in the past tried to fear-monger me about my diet before, but today her interference and annoyance went OVER THE TOP. Telling me that if I don’t get enough calcium I am going to get osteoporosis, pretty much ignoring all the info I try to give her about where I AM getting calcium from, tells me that greens and fruit are not nearly enough, I try to give her some information. But guess what? She won’t listen, she just TALKS OVER ME, starts telling me that I’m in trouble, that she can’t stand seeing me hurt myself that way, that I’m going to get BONE DISEASE AND DIE. I am unable to get a word in edgewise by this point. Then, to make matters worse, she turns to another woman in the room, a lady who works in Whole Body selling supplements and lives on Lean Cuisine and other microwavable boxed and processed crap and thinks she knows all about nutrition because she has a job selling supplements and eats Lean Cuisine.

So the first lady goes on and on about what HORRIBLE diseases and death will come to me if I don’t get enough calcium and start taking supplements, she is practically pleading with me to start taking supplements of some type, and so she turns to the second lady and says, “ISN’T THAT RIGHT?” And the second lady nods her head solemnly, and starts repeating the exact same fear-mongering, uneducated, brainwashed bullcrap that the first lady did, looking all concerned and disturbed by the fact that I wasn’t having any of it.

All I could do is sit there silently looking pissed, because I couldn’t get a word in while those two women pummeled me with all of their SAD fears and tried endlessly to get me to believe that they know what’s best for my body, that there is NO WAY I could possibly survive and be healthy on pure raw fruits and vegetables! It was HORRIBLE. I have never felt so attacked for my lifestyle in ALL MY LIFE. The first lady finally leaves in a huff after she warms up her boxed-food in the microwave and then the second lady who works in Whole Body, continues to have an interest in badgering me about RAW, telling me that she’s “just so concerned about me,” and is practically pushing supplements on me like a drug pusher there in the break room at work, a place that I am supposed to be able to go to eat peacefully.

I finally got really angered. I mean, I was LIVID. I got an attitude with the second lady, told her, “I am healthier then I have ever been in my life. How come nobody had a bone to pick with me about my diet when I was out eating Whataburger every night?! If I have to take supplements to get what I need from food, then that is not the right diet from me. I feel great.” I was obviously pretty upset,just OUTRAGED at the sheer rude intrusiveness of the encounter, and so she started to back off, telling me that she was just concerned for me and didn’t want to see me get sick! I couldn’t believe it.

I left the break room and proceeded to eat the rest of my lunch in the bathroom stall, seething. I couldn’t even really defend myself or my lifestyle to those stupid women because of the fact that they wouldn’t hear it! They were absolutely blinded, and didn’t even care about the fact that raw is healing me and I feel better then EVER – have tons of energy, always want to move around and be active, feel more confident about myself and am healing my mood and mental disorders and eyesight,

After that incident, I have never felt so powerful and so furiously CALM.and so perfectly ABSOLUTELY SURE that the raw diet is THE PATH for me.

I am still outraged in disbelief…where do PEOPLE GET OFF?!

And is there anyway I can combat this if I encounter that shit again? I wish I had been more assertive. Next time someone starts asking me about my diet I’m afraid I will become automatically defensive now. I will just have to be even more FIRM in my stance in the future.

ugh!

«1

Comments

  • angie207angie207 Raw Newbie

    Ooh, I’m sorry! I never cease to be amazed at the things people do out of “concern” or “love” & yet refuse to be educated about it. I think if someone really cares, maybe they should listen/read about what it is you’re really doing. I have never been asked those kinds of questions by someone living a healthier lifestyle than me. I know people have posted about stuff like this before, and given response ideas, but honestly I am beginning to think that Al-Anon (for families & friends of alcoholics) might be a better place to learn to deal with these people and the insanity they like to pull us into with them? :)

  • RAWCureRAWCure Raw Newbie

    I am so sorry you went through this. Those women should not be talking about healthy eating since they eat poorly by even non-raw health standards. I don’t think you can win a fight with them since they don’t listen. I have met people like this when I modified my daughter’s diet. They get so worried about the missing vitamins and minerals. I am a big believer that produce has much better calcium then dairy products. Hopefully they will stick their noses back in their own bussiness.

  • MOTH I am so sorry to hear about your terrible experience. The women who are badgering you are simply jealous. While they sit there eating their “healthy” microwaved cancer-laden meals, they are secretly wishing they could have your habits and determination to be so healthy. I think you handled the situation well. Had it been me, well I would have probably thrown some fists by the end of it. I hate being judged, I know exactly how you feel. On top of everything else, it’s absolutely NONE of their business to be so questioning and condescending. What matters is that you are 100% healthy and feeling better than ever. Women will be women, caddy and difficult, but you are better than that and you proved that by not losing your temper completely. If I had been in that situation, I would have said something about how their microwaved meal was full carcinogens and they would sooner die from disease than you ever would. Know that you have support here from people who UNDERSTAND and won’t judge you. RAW is the best thing you can do for your body, and you clearly know that! I say ignore the bitches if they do it again, just get up, throw a banana at them and tell them they could use one! Maybe not really, but it’d make a statement :-)

  • littlegemslittlegems Raw Newbie

    oh wow, that is horrible! I agree with KathyKath, it sounds like those women were secretly feeling bad about their food, because they KNOW it isn’t healthy. Our society is brainwashed by agribusiness that everyone needs milk, cheese, and more milk, and meat, and oh yes, yogurt. :(

    I am so angry for you, and how dare they force you into the bathroom for your lunch break. If it were me, I’d bring in some headphones (do you have any portable music devices?) and ignore them while you enjoy your meal.

  • You handled it pretty well, these ladies are just jealous because they know their lifestyle isn’t good as yours. People know, they choose to ignore but they know what is good and what is bad in general, everyone knows a healthy salad is better than McWhatever or Freak Cousine everyday! These ladies just lack your determination, discipline and backbone and they’re pissed and feel miserable. If I were you I’d go back to work tomorrow and not show any resentment, shock them with a big smile and if they approach you again try to tell them how good and healthy you feel…maybe they’ll learn to shut up and/or listen next time!

  • MOTHMOTH Raw Newbie

    Thanks for the support people. I just had to get that story out. I couldn’t believe how much they were attacking my diet! I don’t say anything to people about the way they eat, why do people feel like the way I eat is fair game?!

    I was soo angry I very easily wanted to throw a banana at them, or raise my voice, (and I did a little, at the end, which is why the second lady seemed to back off – she could tell that I wasn’t playing around by that point) and afterwards…WOW, I couldn’t believe the energy and strength that was surging through my body. I couldn’t believe the audacity of those bitchy women; I mean…the encounter must have been meant to be…because thanks to that opposition I have NEVER felt so sure about the raw lifestyle in all of my existence. It IS the path for me, and I will continue living it, no matter what.

    I was shaking afterwards…I still feel very edgy with white-hot determination. I just can’t believe them.

    If it happens again, I am just going to create space for myself, speak out loudly and proudly and tell them that my diet or my lifestyle is not a topic for conversation and walk away. I just still can’t believe how rude they were being under the guise of “concern.”

  • iknikn

    Dear Moth, I am really sorry about your ordeal today.

    You handled the sitation very well. There are certain people whom you cannot convince because they are so narrow minded. They had absolutely no right to critisize you. I’ve been in similar situation but I do not let myself dragged into a conversation about my eating habits. Next time just smile politely and pretend you have an important phone call to make and leave them. hugs!

  • Moth Im so sory you had to deal with that ridiculous banter.Those women obviously need to worry about what THEY are putting in their bodies rather than what you aren’t putting in yours. Just smile. That’s my solution to this kind of ridiculousness lately. Im starting to learn that I cant do the conflict thing. I get similar rxns from my FAMILY. The diabetic ones no less. sigh. Ive stopped arguing. They aren’t interrogating you bc they want to have a discussion. I have tried personally and failed to express my feelings on the matter so I refuse to waste my energy anymore. SO I just smile. Nod. And when they wear themselves out I ask them if they feel better now. Trust me. That feels way better than trying to win an argument with illogic ever did.

  • MOTHMOTH Raw Newbie

    Littlegems: I was actually writing a freaking email to someone, ignoring everyone in the room, when they started in on me…just interrupting me just to get their fear-mongering

    they couldn’t even respect my desire for privacy in that moment; it was mind-boggling. I didn’t know people could behave that way towards another; they didn’t have any respect for boundaries.

  • MOTH,

    I know. It’s hard. There have been times where people ask me about my diet. And although I try to explain thoroughly, they just dont get it. They ask me all the time, where I get my protein, calcium etc. And I feel like a broken record. Sometimes, I do just want to scream. I eat the way I eat because I choose to and no one should interfere with that. So just leave me alone, right? But I also do just believe, that people feel challenged when they meet someone who eats differently than they do. I think this is because they are really just curious. I think they got all defensive because deep down, they wish they could take on the challenge of a Raw diet and because of that, they are a little jealous.

    My advice to you would be to aks them where they get their information on health and wellness. Ask them how much they read and how much research they have done on these topics. Ask them how they are so “knowledgeble”. Are they doctors? Do they have experience in curing someone of a serious disease/illness? If not, than you can tell them that you’d rather get advice from an experienced professional. And let them know that you have done plenty research on your raw diet to know that you are confident and know what you are doing. You can even challenge them. Ask them why they are eating what they eat. Tell them all the things that are wrong with what they eat. Dont let them back you into a corner. But the most important thing to remember is to try to remain your composure while confronting them. Try to keep a calm relaxed voice, and try to still be respectful. Your words will get farther that way. And they will be more likely to listen and have respect in return.

  • Hey! Hope you’re feeling better. I and everyone else reading this really feel for ya. Hang in there.

    Some ideas: “Your attacks on my way of eating – the most natural way of eating, and the way every animal on the planet eats except us – is more a reflection on you than it is on me”

    “Gorillas – the REAL King of the Jungle – doesn’t worry about getting enough protein or calcium on their 100% RAW PLANT DIET.”

    “Americans take more calcium supplements than anyone on the planet, but we have the most osteoporosis – that should tell you something.” (Calcium assimilation is around 11% for supplements)

    “Dr. Colin T. Campbell, the country’s leading nutritionist and the one who conducted the largest and most extensive study of diet and nutrition ever, says that it is ludicrous to think that a nutrient can work in isolation. There are hundreds, even thousands of factors required to make a nutrient work, including other vitamins or minerals, co-factors, enzymes, and more. The best way to get a nutrient is to eat the food that has it, because then you’re getting everything you need to assimilate that nutrient.”

    I like what dreaminraw said too. “Just smile” and “nod.” That’s great.

    Years ago I read where some researcher or nutritionist said that we have the most expensive pee on the planet from all the supplements that go in and through us.

    Like you’ve probably experienced, I have so much more energy since I STOPPED taking vitamin and supplements because my body isn’t trying to find all the other stuff that normally come with those nutrients, and I eat raw and organic and get a minimum of FOUR TIMES the nutrients than dead food eaters. Tell’em that too.

    Good luck and we’re with ya. Ciao.

  • Wow, MOTH. I’m so sorry to hear you were so rudely treated! I agree with all the other comments here and as a HR Manager, I would also like to address your question of how you can handle this when it happens again – and it likely will – from another standpoint. Those women were exhibiting harassing behavior to you and the fact that you had to finish your lunch in the bathroom is totally unexceptable. I HIGHLY recommend speaking to your manager or to the HR department. Although it may not be legally defined as harassment, because choice of diet is not a protected class like race or religion, it is still promoting a hostile work environment. No one should have to put up with that kind of treatment and you should not have to defend yourself or your choices in such a manner.

    Ok, I need to take a deep breath because all my little hackles are up! Again, I agree with everyone here and we support you fully, but logic, fact and reason will not likely reach these women when they are being so fanatical. Please consider seeing your manager. One positive point you mentioned, though, is that this experience has solidified your committment to the raw lifestyle. Often even in tough situations, there is a gift to be received. My best to you and I hope you don’t have to experience this again.

  • bittbitt Raw Newbie

    Moth, sorry about the crazies. That is pretty ironic about the lean cuisine and supplements thing. I was at a co-worker event tonight and the woman who had made a brie-cheese and bread log-type thing was telling me how she was reading “skinny bitch” and how it was so extreme. then I told her about my raw diet. :-) i out-extremed her.

    anyhow, i like the idea that Mr M has about having lots of info and nutrition to back yo u up.

  • lol mickmaster. most expensive pee on the planet. Sad cause its true. Isolated nutrients in supplements are inorganic minerals. The body doesn’t know what do do with them. If they take supplements,they are paying for it and getting next to nothing for their money. Who needs the opinions of those who choose not to educate themselves? I pity them for what they are lacking. Big hugs Moth.

  • achin70achin70 Raw Newbie

    Wow, I can imagine your experience had to be highly upsetting! I can’t stand to argue during mealtime because I don’t believe it’s good for digestion. I prefer to eat in silence most of the time. I’m sure if this happens again, you’ll be prepared! :)

  • queenfluffqueenfluff Raw Newbie

    Don’t the crazies suck?? I used to get that about being vegan – but not so much. People just like to make themselves look better than others. It is called insecurity. They will always be there – don’t let them get you down. You can do what you want.

    I think someone posted on here once that she got called into her office because her boss was worried about her that she was too skinny and saw that she was eating raw vegetables and started sticking her nose in this persons business. The nerve. They don’t do that to fat overweight people do they?

    If you had started to talking to an overweight person like those ladies were talking to you, I bet you would get a call into the boss office. It is so backwards.

    I bet those ladies have a list of things that are wrong with them and I bet they all take prescriptions and such.

    It is sad too that you have to deal with that at Whole Foods – They have definatley gone down in the excaliber of people they hire. It used to be full of healthy granola types working there. Now, I will see a Mountain Dew at the cashiers. I really hate that. They really should only hire certain kinds of people there.

    I would tell those ladies of all the stuff you have healed on raw, weight you have lost (if any) and see if their Lean Cuisines can out do that. It won’t.

    I just brush those sort of people off with a few smarty comments and than sort of ignore them because you will NEVER win them over no matter what you say. I don’t waste my time on those sorts anymore – they are not worth your anger or breath. They used to piss me off – My bf is really good at not letting them to get to him and he said it is because he feels sorry for them esp. the super unhealthy overweight ones. And now I see it that way too – they are so sad and sick. They wouldn’t be trying to change you if they werent insecure about something about themselves.

    You on the other hand don’t need that stuff – so who is healthier? You are!

  • greenghostgreenghost Raw Newbie

    Moth Good F’ing Grief! I’m sorry that you had to deal with that lunch-time browbeating in the name of SAD.
    It is disturbing on many levels. One of which is how distressingly misinformed those 2 co-workers are.

    I apologize if I repeat myself here – I may have mentioned the following in another forum, but I have Osteoporosis. I found out by breaking my back and turning into a collapsed heap outside on my driveway…. then spending the next 3 months in a hospital bed. The first month bringing on unbelievably agonizing pain. Sometimes my whole body went into seizures that felt like I was being crushed to death. (Anyone who has ever had a really bad calf cramp – might be able to imagine if you picture it occurring to your entire body). My body would ‘lock’ and it felt like each muscle was squeezing & crushing me. It was ‘knee-jerk’ to just scream. They had to put me on 4 different narcotics.

    Before I broke my back I thought I was being oh-so-healthy following the main-stream America BS high-protein diet.
    I was literally drinking over 1/2 gallon of (YUCK!) Cow’s Milk with a big scoop of Whey Protein powder added to it – a huge ‘smoothie’ of just that was my meal 2-3x/day… And snacking on ‘cheese sticks’ in between. Dinner would be some lame meal of Eggs or Tuna & maybe a few microwaved veggies. I RARELY had any fresh fruits or vegetables – and if I did it would be ICEBERG lettuce which is as nutritious as cardboard.

    So anyway – my life altering event was staring up at the sky while sprawled on the pavement knowing I was broken in half, realizing that there was a “before” and there was an “after” and I had just begun my ‘after’.
    Since then I’ve researched the hell out of how I reached that moment & how I can heal…
    The vegan raw food diet is the way.
    I am now 42.

    PS: not to tell you what to do (or preach to the choir – because I think you are really smart and have done plenty of research yourself), but if they ever harass you again…you might want to just put a copy of “The China Study” in their hands and walk away

    PS2: I only shared my story because they were raving at you that you would “get Bone Disease”. Those 2 women have a much much greater chance at succumbing to that than you do though Moth. If you eat raw – Your body is happy & mineralized!
    Cheers & more Power to you!

  • angie207angie207 Raw Newbie

    greenghost – thanks for sharing your story! Funny how you describe things. Although, I think cardboard might be slightly more nutritious than iceberg lettuce. :D

  • Hey MOTH – I haven’t read the other responses, but let me just say, I’m surprised! I’d think that, if anywhere, people working at Whole Foods would be open to this sort of lifestyle! That said, I’m sorry you had to endure such a thing. I have been criticized countless times for being raw.

  • I think you handled it beautifully. You said you feel great, and you didn’t go on the attack.

    If you want to have ‘ammunition’ to counter their arguments in the future, you could find the most comprehensive book on the subject and give it to them, but if it were ME I know that just searching for the right book would bring up anger, bitterness and just bolster the division between me and them. I know you are a highly conscious person, and probably already recognize that THEY are YOU – or parts of you that maybe you haven’t yet made peace with.

    Remember when you didn’t know about raw foodism? Remember when you were mentally and physically sick, and didn’t know how to get well? That’s where they live. You were compassionate by not attacking them. But, is there a voice in your own head that still says things that they said?

    I’m going through the same thing with close family members, only it’s over very deeply held religious beliefs, so there’s a tremendous amount of fear and love and ‘convincing’ coming from them. I find myself on the defensive to their arguments even when they are not around! It eats at you and saps your strength, and trying to convince them is even more maddening than listening to their logic. Your post helps me see my own issue in perspective. There’s a part of myself I need to make peace with, and then when I encounter that type of thing externally, it will no longer be an enemy that I need to do ‘battle’ with.

  • ajchanterajchanter Raw Newbie

    I feel for you! its so horrible to be in that position, espeicially if they dont let you get a word in sideways. But i think you had a lot of pacience not to just shout at them!! Just continue to be a shining exemple of the RAW diet, and prove them wrong!!!

    (: Have an ausome day, and just focus on the good things in life! (:

  • clr-1976clr-1976 Raw Newbie

    Wow MOTH, that would make my blood boil. Well done for not knocking them out. I know there’s been lots of advice already but I think Lady Raven has a point, its harassment, plain and Simple.

    Sad that so many people get hassled about having a healthy diet when I we hear preached is how we need to be healthier.. ? Go figure..

    Anyway, take comfort in the fact that we all understand and may have even been in similar situations from the sounds of it.

    I was in my coconut shop today (greengrocers) and asked the guy if he ever gets organic (as it would save me having to go elsewhere & its a nice little shop who I’d rather support than a monster supermarket), he said he could (as in, but I dont want to..) then went into this long rant about how he doesnt think it makes any difference, the pesticides are so low anyway, they use satelite technology to see where the insects are and only spray accordingly etc, jeez, I only asked if he stocked organic, a yes or no would suffice..!!

  • MOTH, I find that totally appalling! I would have thought that a place like Whole Food would be one of the most supportive places to work for people with “alternative” diets. I’m sorry you had to endure something like that. I wish people weren’t so judgmental.

  • Moth, I personally have no patience for people, especially people like that, and would have just completely ignored them and shut them out of my head and kept on typing as if they weren’t there.Maybe nodded in an obvious manner that said I wasn’t listening and didn’t care to. If I said anything I probably would have said “uh…..ok?” or that nice passive “mmmmmhmmmmmm” while typing. Or if that didn’t work, just got up and left. I’m pretty dismissive when dealing with situations like that. But, you did well. You really did. Certainly better than those two women. It really is an awful feeling being told that something you love so dearly is wrong and bad and dumb and (insert negative adjectives). I hope you don’t feel too defensive about telling people info now when they ask. You never know what good you could end up doing in the future by introducing someone to the concept of a raw food life! Enjoy your tasty bananas!

  • MOTH – so sorry you had to deal with that. As I scrolled through all the awesome responses you have gotten already I noticed someone quote Dr. Suess, ” Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

    You did an awesome job! Undoubtedly better than I could have done and those chicks don’t matter anyway. You got more nutrition from half your banana than a whole Lean Cuisine!

    Peace!

  • Sorry your lunch, a time for relaxation, was ruined. Next time don’t even look at these people. YOU weren’t rude. Feel good about yourself. :D

  • TomsMomTomsMom Raw Newbie

    Wow, that was an ugly, ugly thing for these women to do to you, Moth! They were not trying, in any way, to help or advise you. That was pure harrassment, and don’t ever, EVER run and hide from this, please. You need to calm down, figure out what to say, and go speak to your boss. Poor baby. Hugs, OOXX

  • RawVoiceRawVoice Raw Newbie

    Whoa! Ugh is right!! The nerve! The arrogance! Congratulations on being so strong and standing up for yourself. I think you did great.

  • Moth, remember that it’s also okay to not defend yourself and your raw food lifestyle. Instead, you can simply say something like, “I don’t want to discuss this with you” or “Please let me have peace and quiet during my lunch break” or “I find your judgments offensive and I’m asking you to stop talking to me now”.

    I think it’s more important for you to be assertive about your desires for peace and quiet during your lunch break than it is for you to think of things to say in case someone challenges you about what you eat.

    Another way to think about it is… (and this might sound silly but it’s an exercise I do sometimes)... imagine that you have a child and that child is peacefully eating her lunch when some really uncaring, unthoughtful people come and challenge her about what she is eating. You know that what she is eating is healthy because you are an adult who loves and cares for her and you made her the best lunch possible. Would you step in and start telling those people about the benefits of raw food and then bring your daughter into the bathroom stall to finish the rest of her lunch when they refused to listen? Or would you immediately stand up and assertively ask them to stop speaking to your daughter in that way, and then if they don’t stop, remove your daughter to a peaceful location to finish her lunch? I’m thinking you would choose the second. So, I guess my advice here is to treat yourself with as much love and respect and protection that you would give to anyone else. You deserve it!

    Good luck, and peace to you. Be fierce!

  • Jellibi, that is beautifully honouring advice that is beneficial for all to remember. We often treat others with greater respect than ourselves, especially children. The shift in perspective and affording ourselves that loving consideration is so valuable. Thank you for sharing your insight.

Sign In or Register to comment.