i'm not sure if i posted this in the right forum, but anyway...
i'm 18 and recently went raw vegan after being vegetarian for 6 or so years. the only problem is, at the moment, it's proving to be a little more difficult - instead of helping me on the road to health, trying to force discipline onto myself has helped me develop a deeper version of my already-present eating disorder. it's not the raw, necessarily, it's trying to have any discipline - it really started when i began counting calories, but since restricting myself even more, it's gotten a lot more intense: i'm talking bingeing every single night, feeling horribly guilty, restricting the next day. i've been trying 80-10-10, which helps for a while, but then i get these ridiculous addictive cravings that i don't feel like i can push away. i've gained a lot of weight (i went from 108 at the beginning of the summer to about 140!) and i want to get to a normal weight without necessarily counting calories like a madman, but still keeping track, and eating healthy amounts without THINKING about it so much.
the thing is, i am a really positive person, and i know that it's ME who's causing my failure - but try telling that to yourself when you simply don't care: that's a different story! i get to a point where i really just say screw it, and just eat a lot of whatever i want, raw or not. and i know this is really terrible for me, but it feels so out of my control! i know, i know, it's in my control, it's just so hard to reason with myself when i'm feeling a binge coming on.
so i don't know, i was wondering: those of you who got over your eating disorders of various types, how did you manage to do this? what can i do, for instance, to prevent a binge? i'm open to any advice... i'm really just ready to get on the road to health as soon as possible. thank you all so much for your time.