Okay, I am suddenly having major problems. Summer was great, as mom bought all the groceries, I had all the time in the world to make recipes, and I was never around college junk food.
Now, school’s back in session, and I suddenly just can’t do raw anymore. I am so busy, I don’t have time to make meals and I find I don’t want to make meals. I get anxious and bored and antsy after 5 minutes of food preparation. So, I thought, okay, I’ll eat simple. But that’s when I got bored. See, the thing is, I want to eat gourmet raw…all the time. I want my raw bread, my cheese, my pasta, my ice creams. To be honest, simple meals don’t sound that great to me. And the fragrance of pizza wafts into the room every day and I smell cookies being baked down the hall. GAAH! It’s driving me nuts!
So, then I went to the health food store, and I was so frustrated that I think I had already made up my mind that I was going to start eating cooked food again. I went all out. I was so excited to buy premade food and to be able to choose from such a wide variety that I bought vegan cheeses, manna bread, canned beans (no sodium), Ezekial tortillas, and 2 frozen vegan dinners. The food was pretty good. But, I feel bad about the frozen dinners.
Today, I was starving and I ran to the school’s convenience store and bought a vegan pot pie (with baking soda, and powder, rice flour-eeek!). I feel bad about that…but I was so hungry! But, now that I am eating cooked food, I kind of don’t have boundaries anymore. Who knows if next time I will buy a microwaveable DAIRY-CHEESE PIZZA! Hopefully not. But, I probably won’t buy those frozen dinners anymore.
And I want to eat raw, I really really do. But, I can’t stand the idea of never having a pizza that tastes like a vegan baked pizza ever again. Before, I used to be okay with the idea that it didn’t taste exactly the same, now I want it to be (I wanted it to be even before the day I went to the grocery store).
When I think of raw, I think about how nice it is, how healthy, and pure, and natural, but then I think about being hungry a lot, and eating too much raw fat to stay full, and spending tons of money, and eating apples and bananas every single day (‘cause they’re the cheapest). I also think of spending a lot of time in the kitchen and having less time for friends and homework. I also worry about Christmas, and how I will survive around my mom’s gourmet cheese and cracker dish, cookie tray, pies, and breads. Sure, I could slave away making my own raw versions of all of this, but that would take up so much time of my short winter vacation at home, and it would just be so much easier to buy pre-made cooked vegan versions. Shed some light guys, what do you think? I have no idea what to do. I need some sort of brilliant, miracle plan to make this work.