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Mangers in a Mange land...

Hi, everyone, I thought let you know that I am typing this in a hotel in Central California.

For those of you who don’t know the State very well, this is the center of the meat, dairy and grain industry, and I thought you’d get a kick out of the fact that today I was on a tour of a mill and listening to the owner boast about out how the mill can take every single factory byproduct—and grind it down to feed cows.

Isn’t that appetizing? Afterward there was a great big smoky, beef and pork barbecue. The people were great and the owner cool, and though I have to admit the setting was very beautiful—with these broad beams of light falling through all this fine grain dust—after three hours here I have a headache and feel kinda pukey. (let’s see what they can do with that factory byproduct)

This gig will only last until tomorrow and I’ll be happy to zoom back to Little Bohemia, but I wanted to post this topic purely to illicit a few sighs of sympathy from all my new, raw food friends.

Have pity on me,

Zooey

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Comments

  • Zooey, I feel for you! Through a series of unfortunate events, I ended up stuck in a butcher shop today… By the way, are you into po-co?

  • ohh you poor man…it was the ground up dead pig being fed to the “healthy” as an innoculate that had me switching majors from animal science to equine science…nasty business the food production business…..sending you kombucha wishes and clover sprout dreams;)

  • If you are in the central cali, maybe you can balance out your icky mill tour with a trip to an organic almond farm to get some farm fresh raw unpasteurized almonds! :)

  • So, feeling hungry I just tooled around in my jeep and found a superstore and bought some pitted dates and avocados. (I got some almonds, thanks, Queen) Now I’m back in my room on a Friday night, in the middle of nowhere, getting off on Wikipedia. ...Dusty Springfield was white?

    Thank you for all the sympathy. I am an absolute sucker for nurturing kindness. (as opposed to laughter, Marichiesa. I’ll get you back) Om, you radiate maternal love, has anyone ever told you that?

    Cherie, your Biblical reference has me scratching my head, but no—I did not eat the barbecue. I held out, sturdy metrosexual that I am, and gulped down a pre-made green smoothie in my Jeep. Of course it helped that everyone around me had me outweighed by about ninety pounds. There’s nothing like the threat of obesity to brace your convictions.

    Kat—do you mean the music site?

  • ahaha No, I mean post-colonial lit. I’m very impressed that you stayed strong surrounded by all that food! But you’re right… nothing like a reminder of what that food will do to you to turn you off from it. PS. In my mind, this barbeque has a Hawaiian luau theme, complete with a pig roasting on a spit. All party-goers are also wearing grass skirts =P

  • Actually, Kat,I was the one wearing the skirt. Everyone else was in Michelob T shirts and looking at me like I was Rocky, the flying squirrel.

    Wow! I totally blew it on the post-colonial. That’s very funny. Actually, though I come from a long line of bibliophiles, and write books now, I didn’t study, nor do I teach fiction. I’m trying to stoke your curiosity, I hope it’s working.

    Maybe I’m an astronaut.

  • You look familiar… but maybe that’s just me trying too hard to figure out who you are/what you do… Might I have read anything you’ve written?

  • Well, I’m 100 percent raw, as you guys say. Except when I do Sushi. I don’t miss bread, certainly not meat or sweets because I never was into those… but my body is telling me that I need more nutrients. Say… what goes first? Fat or muscle?

    I have TOTALLY BEEN SCHOOLED by you and Kat. First the fiction reference and now the Biblical reference. See? I told you! This diet is making me slow-witted!

    Screw the literature, I’m going to go make some tempera paintings of dolphins and butterflies.

  • Are you sure you’re up to something as complicated as a butterfly? All those colours might be too challenging! I’d suggest something simple to start with… maybe an apple or a banana.

  • That’s what I want, Cherie. Absolute pity. I call this my Unicef look.

  • Katherine! You’re showing a wacky sense of humor. I didn’t know you had it in you.

    In the lobby I just heard a man addressing a group of other solemn men in some sort of conference. He said- “And in the old testament, it was the MEN who passed down the word of God.”

    The women in this hotel, by the way, seem to be gathered together in an ‘overuse of perfume’ conference on the third floor. I nearly collapsed in the elevator.

  • =| is all I have to say about that bible business of yours. And those ladies are just trying to attract you with some natural pheromones! I told them a young, single astronaut would be in the hotel this evening, so they should pull out the big guns if they wanted a chance with him!

  • Hahaha

  • No, Katherine. You wouldn’t know me. Sorry to say. However, you may be thinking of my father:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=UW5RDeRDy1I

  • You are the spitting image of your father. Though I suspect your mom didn’t approve of his choice to have all those mamas shakin’ it in the background of that video. Tsk tsk, Daddy Holiday…

  • Wait! I got that one! Ayn Rand. Ha!

    Actually, Cherie, since we’re probing personalities—I am a solitary type. Though I love people and their stories, nothing beats 1) tea 2) a cat and 3) a good book

    Katherine, those ‘mamas’ as you so crudely put it, are my mother and her sister.

    You Canadians have got some awful sense of political correctness.

    Tanze Samba Mit Mir…

  • Your female relatives have beautiful…er, assets. And it’s not hard to lack in political correctness when your country’s politics register a negative ten on the scale of international importance. Seriously, who has ever put “Canada” and “politics” together in the same sentence?! haha

  • Stephen Leacock?

  • Him and about 100 profs at my university, unfortunately. =/ For some reason, the thought of first-past-the-post systems and debates over marajuana legislation just don’t do it for me…

  • We’re going to get kicked off of here, let me use some camouflage.

    Cabbages, Cabbages, Cabbages. Algae, digestion, worms.

    And which writers are your favorites?

    Cabbages, Cabbages, cabbages. poop.

  • I’ve invented a code that’s sure to stump any would-be expellers. I just hope you can crack my super sneaky cipher. In general, I really like green(Victorian lit)smoothies, sal(Oscar Wilde (& that type of humour))ads, and bitter(Shakespeare (nerdily enough)) cacao. In particular, I LOVE toma (Helen DeWitt’s The Last Samurai (NOT the same book as that Tom Cruise movie. READ IT!!!))toes, pine (JM Coetzee (if you haven’t read him, DO IT… he can be intense, but well worth the effort))apples, and cucum(Infidel…Ayaan Hirsi Ali)ber. Coincidentally, I’ve been eat(reading)ing buck(Salinger)wheat for a long time- before I started eating raw (e.g. since I was 12). Let’s see if you can handle that ;)

  • Yowza. I haven’t read Coetzee, but I heard Garrison Keilor Talking about him. I identify with this line from his bio: “He does not drink, smoke or eat meat. He cycles vast distances to keep fit and spends at least an hour at his writing-desk each morning, seven days a week.”

    My downstairs neighbor has this astrology book he was trying to get me to read, and I’m all snobby and cracking wise at it and then he read the part about capricorns and he said that Salinger and his heroes are typical capricorns—aware of samsara at an early age, seeking peace, reclusion, and are generally only aware of pop culture ending twenty years ago.

    So, yes, Cherie—the book that I most identify with in my soul is Franny and Zooey. This isn’t a taste thing, and isn’t even deliberate—it’s just something shared—like a pulse.

    Kat, were you raised in a Raw house? How did this happen? Oscar Wilde is a hero of mine. Destroyed by a pursuit of beauty. What a way to go.

  • Damn!

    Walnuts, hemp, Birkenstocks…

  • Finally, the topic turns to raw food and I can stop using that exhausting code! haha

    No, actually- my family is VERY unraw. My dad’s a big meat eater (& a bit on the unhealthy side, but I’m working on that), and my mom taught nutrition (so she’s all about “4 food groups”, “balance”, “look at the size of your bones! if you don’t start drinking milk, they will break!”). I started all this by first going vegan for ethical reasons, and then raw, only a month later, for health reasons. I had been having alot of issues with my digestion and hormone production (& before you make the joke, no I don’t have too much testosterone OR a mustache haha). The oh-so-romantic story I tell people is that I started reading about raw foodism one day and stayed up all night learning everything I could- I had the very last Yves Veggie Lasagna in my fridge and said goodbye to cooked food! Honestly, apart from the odd detox day, I feel ten thousand times better!

    NOW, it’s YOUR turn. (Otherwise, I’m going to have to invent a biography for you. So far, it involves grass skirts and space missions.)

  • Lactose intolerant, kombucha, liver problems… Oh, Kat. Looks like I missed you—my friend Skyped me from Michigan. Look, you will have to email me at the link on my profile. There I will you give you low down. I’m glad that you don’t have a mustache.

    PETA, Ginger, acorn lolipops…

  • a match made in raw heaven if you ask me! love the code, had me is stitches….rock on guys! ;)

  • Well you could have told corny vegan jokes the whole time..

    Here’s one for next time…

    Why does vegan cheese taste bad? It hasn’t been tested on mice.

  • Ardes, I have soft spot in my heart for really awful jokes that feature animals. Did your daughter tell you that one?

    I see we both changed our pics. I would join the club and post my cat’s photo, but he is so handsome and cool that everyone would go all gaga.

    BTW, I’m still up in Central, CA. I wonder how my cat would feel if I brought home a cow.

  • Here’s one for you, zooey:

    What’s invisible and smells like carrots?

    Bunny farts!

    Ba-dum-dum. ;o)

  • Just when you need some insanity, jenergy flies in like a superhero and offers a fart joke.

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