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Mangers in a Mange land...



  • Ardes, I have soft spot in my heart for really awful jokes that feature animals. Did your daughter tell you that one?

    I see we both changed our pics. I would join the club and post my cat’s photo, but he is so handsome and cool that everyone would go all gaga.

    BTW, I’m still up in Central, CA. I wonder how my cat would feel if I brought home a cow.

  • jenergyjenergy Raw Newbie

    Here’s one for you, zooey:

    What’s invisible and smells like carrots?

    Bunny farts!

    Ba-dum-dum. ;o)

  • Just when you need some insanity, jenergy flies in like a superhero and offers a fart joke.

  • OK, just got onto this Dada-ist thread. Zooey Glass, this is your sister Franny. What is blue and smells like red paint?

  • I give… what, Mon46, is blue and smells like red paint?

  • Blue paint.

  • Please forgive me :)

  • Oh, god. If this is what raw foodists call humor I’m going to McDonalds.

    Okay, all. I’m heading back on the road. I hope that by the time I get back to LA there will be a long thread of equally bad jokes on here. And if by chance I should fall into a grain elevator and my body is fed to a bunch of mutant livestock—know that I love you.

  • jenergyjenergy Raw Newbie

    snicker, snicker, giggle, snort!

  • SarahJSarahJ Raw Newbie

    Stay strong Zooey – it will be over soon. You poor thing – not only did you have to go to the crazy food mill place but then you had to endure raw jokes.

    Sending good Karma your way. :)

  • Thanks, Sarah. It definitely feels good to be back in L.A.

    I’m going to spare all you guys the details of the feed mill that I visited.

    Om, is your website up? I tried to click the link, but my browser wouldn’t bring it up…

  • omshantiomshanti Raw Newbie

    zooey you are scareing me….maybe the whole dum dum thing is catching up to you quick grab a burger! wink wink…my website worked for me three seconds ago www.granolasspecialtyfoods.com im hopeing you meant my raw food unbakery as i didnt remember you mentioning a horse for me to train, thas a whole ‘nother website ;)

    ardesmond and zooey, whats with the moody “this is my best side” pics, come on, give us a goofy grin….teehee

    corny joke coming up: what do gay horses eat? Haaaaay( said in a very fey tone) not that theres anything wrong with that…( sienfeld reference in case any of you are scratching your heads)

    oh wait, another farm animal joke: what are the two most pornagraophic animals in the barn yard? “brown chicken brown cow” sing it now! teehee

  • Alright, Wingnut, make fun of me all you want but I still can’t get it to work from your profile. Have you tried it from there or are you too busy thinking of animal jokes? And as for my picture, okay, I’ll search for a new photo just for you. Your wish is my command.

  • Hmmmm the pic that’s my good side “om” :(, but I am gagging over Zooey new pic that is to much.

    OK OK WAIT i have a good one for all the 30% raw people on here

    How many vegetarians does it take to eat a cow?

    One if nobody’s looking.

    hee hee y no one laughing. :(

  • Yeah, this new diet is doing wonders for my complexion. Finally I realize what you’ve all been going on about. I feel like a whole new person.

  • why does zooey last post with the new pic have me in stitches..whewww Oh man I can’t breath… I keep looking at the pic and cracking up …..I have tears running down my face.

  • Thinking 10 minutes till the west coast joins in on Earth day are you participating zooey

  • gypsycowgirlgypsycowgirl Raw Newbie

    You guys are cracking me up!! I have tears coming out of my eyes!

  • I guess not, Ardes. After all, I drove about three hundred miles today and yesterday and spent some time at a industrial animal farm.

  • 300 miles, no thanks California is just to big for me. 300 miles here and you would have been in totally different state. zooey- since you are a book worm and a runner have you ever read the book PACE rediscover your primal fitness by Al Sears. I think you would be interested in what he has to say. I have the PDF if you like.

  • angie207angie207 Raw Master

    Yeah, complexion/new pic HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Here’s another joke: What is brown and sticky?

  • angie207angie207 Raw Master

    Oh, yeah, ardesmond – the vegetarian joke was awesome, too. Have you ever heard the song “Junk Food Junkie”?

  • SarahJSarahJ Raw Newbie

    LMAO Zooey. Well, we did ask for a smiling picture – I guess we should have specified a smiling picture of YOU. Way too funny.

  • omshantiomshanti Raw Newbie

    zooey, twenty lashes with wet kelp noodle for me, i posted for ray as, like you said, my link is not working from the site!!! hmmmm, wierd…thanks for the heads up on it….now can ya change that creepy pic of angela landsbury please? i ll be forced to post more bad animal jokes if not…..man thats pretty funny though…giggle. i see the resemblance, is she an auntie of yours? smirk…

    ardesmond, candles for an hour for us last night and it was fun! wonder if we made a diff? heard europe wasnt to interested in participating just us in the “colonys”

  • omshanti not to many people in my neighborhood participated, which was a shame.

    Candles for us to, don’t ask why I tried to play UNO with the kids by candle light eating chocolate earth balls. All of the blue cards look green “LOL” but it was a lot of fun.

    CHEEZIT update: Ok the kid liked the cheezit and you are right they didn’t have that snap, but I also think mines don’t taste as they should because we don’t use salt here. Other than that they were a hit.

  • God it feels so good to be back in Venice Beach. Just went for a nice long run by the ocean and finished up at the raw restaurant. But again, there is no way I am getting the nutrients I need. I may end up, after doing this 100 percent raw thing for a month, end up putting in some fish or sprouted bread. Does that mean I can’t join in any of your reindeer games?

  • hmmmm maybe we can let you be a spectator…...........

  • omshantiomshanti Raw Newbie

    ardesmond, sounds like a wonderful evening with family! yep the salt kinda makes it as original cheezits are like 3 trillion milligrams of sodium…but im glad they liked em anyhow.

    zooey the SAME raw resteraunt where the dolt works? you are either a glutton for punishment or someone who is easily entertained…...hahahaha any new fodder for a good giggle for the rest of us? maybe some, hygene deficient, birkinstock wearing waitress tales? teehee. dude you can get enough nutrients on this diet but i gotta say when im in no mood to listen to my body i wander around feeling a bit dazed some days, some days bloated , some days cranky…when i really pay attention i feel fab! but since you really wanna be on the team guess you can hold the spit bucket! hahahaha crickets again? come on people! keep up, its a hockey reference… on a more serious note, i feel best on mostly veggies: avos, greens and sprouts to be exact, i get all wonky on fruit and nuts….seeds are ok but outside of hemp and sesame seeds i am not into alot of seeds either. happy trottings around venice, it was my fav place to visit when i was in college, had i known its rep then i probobly would have stayed happily at home! ;)

  • yeah I was going to say water boy, but zooey holding the spit bucket is more visually appealing.

    Omshanti I just saw your recipe for white bread, you are a machine , could you please figure out away I could make a lentil or a sage burger without carrots.

  • Oh, Venice has changed a lot, Om. And as for all you guys going all fundamentalist on me, well that’s fine. But you’ll miss me when I’m gone! Mark my words, Ardes!

    This time the not-so-smart guy wasn’t there, but I was served by a very nice young lady who kind of looked like my cat when he watches birds—meaning he gets all distant-looking and ready to attack.

    Plus, there’s that strange vibe that I find is almost unavoidable in L.A—of feeling like everyone’s eyeballing each other.

    My friend and running partner, a very healthy vegan but non-rawfoodist said—“This place is bullshit, what are you doing to yourself?”

    I felt like my mom had just caught me with drugs or something.

    By the way, Kathryn hooked me up with another raw food site that you guys probably all know about; I’ve been checking it out and it’s kinda cool. May not be good for you married types though. Har-har.

    Oh, and by the way, here’s the photo change for you, OM. Any other requests? A specific outfit maybe? A special pose? I live for you, you know. Wingnut.

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